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Has anyone ever tossed something of dh's without asking? - Page 2

post #21 of 41
Quote:
Originally Posted by Greaseball
I would LOVE to toss dh's holey, disintegrating underwear! But he has such a hard time finding a brand he likes. Once he does, though, then it's no mercy!
Grease, are you sure you aren't pregnant?? This could be the early stages of pregnancy - thats how I kind of clued in I was pregnant with #2....I started wanting to throw Dh's stuff out!
post #22 of 41
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by darsmama
Grease, are you sure you aren't pregnant?? This could be the early stages of pregnancy - thats how I kind of clued in I was pregnant with #2....I started wanting to throw Dh's stuff out!
I doubt it! We got the "OK" from the guy at Planned Parenthood; there are supposed to be no sperm left!!!

But yesterday, I was thinking how this reminded me of nesting!
post #23 of 41
sigh... no - for the same reason as everyone else who hasn't. We're both packrats. I think I'm better (not worse) than he is, but he probably thinks the same about me.

Do any continuum concept mothers think this hoarding instinct of men in some how related to the loss of in-arms and cuddling? I need to hold on to and fill-up on the stuff they didn't get as children?
post #24 of 41
I sometimes give DH a warning that I'm about to go on a cleaning binge and everything is fair game if it's in the way. There have been times when they're was no warning. He's used to my cleaning fits. :LOL

Once he threw out my favorite CD because he hated it and he lied to me about when I asked him if he knew where it was. A week later (I was still looking) and he confessed. Man, was I So about a month later I was driving truck to school. As I was walking to the truck I looked at his license plate and I *hated* that thing. It was so obnoxious. Not the one with the tag numbers but a separate personalized plate. The thought struck me, "Gee, men always have tools in their trucks." Before I knew it I had that plate screwed off and it somehow found it's way into the dumpster! Revenge can feel so good! Best part was when he noticed like a month later that it was gone and he came running in the house exclaiming that someone had stolen his license plate. It was a sweet sweet moment. Yes, I'm a mean horrible person. He has never thrown something of mine away again.
post #25 of 41
Yes, I've tossed stuff of DH's. Perhaps I will rot in hell, but it sure feels good. I try not to be spiteful about it, or get rid of stuff that I don't like. I get rid of things that I know he either hasn't used, won't use or can't even remember he has.

We moved last spring. We got down to the wire with packing, and I ended up packing some of DH's papers. Yup - I tossed all kinds of stuff! I figured it was my perogative - he had a chance to do it himself and didn't.

DH is a total pack rat, and I am pretty ruthless. For years I had been telling DH that we would never live in a larger space than our rental apt (it had storage up the whazoo). Our house is smaller, and DH actually has an entire room in the house to himself. Its tiny, but its his. Whenever he gives me grief for taking up too much space in the sock and underwear drawer, I remind him that he's taken up an entire room of our small house.
post #26 of 41
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Whenever he gives me grief for taking up too much space in the sock and underwear drawer, I remind him that he's taken up an entire room of our small house.
My dh has three dressers full of clothes he never wears! It's been a constant source of struggle. I finally said it was fine if they stayed in the garage. So tempted to throw those out...
post #27 of 41
I wouldn't throw DHs stuff away without asking.
If i'm cleaning i just kind of pile stuff up that i would like to get rid of, and we go through it together when he gets home.
I don't want to accidentally throw something away that is important to him.
post #28 of 41
Yeah, I have. And I have a feeling he's thrown away some of my stuff now and then as well.
post #29 of 41
Yep, really ratty underwear, but then I'll go and buy him new sexy ones!!!

And I once threw out a disgusting t-shirt that smelled bad even after it came out of the laundry. He thanked me.
post #30 of 41
Yeah, I do. If dh ever cleaned out a closet or dresser drawer, I wouldn't. But I'm the one who usually puts away the laundry, and there comes a time when I just can't fit the stuff in there because he has so many ancient, hole-ridden t-shirts, odd socks, suits that haven't fit him for 10 years, etc.

So, I usually wait until he's away for a weekend and I go to town. I will tell him about boxing up the stuff with any donation value for the Salvation Army, but the really ratty t-shirts and other junk, I just toss.

After nearly 25 years of this, he has yet to notice that something is gone. But if I were to just ask him if I can toss the stained, decrepit t-shirts, he can't bear the thought and starts to get all sentimental about them.
post #31 of 41
Quote:
Originally Posted by Greaseball
Ugh...National Geographic!
Same problem here. The NG magazines are in the basement somewhere so I don't have to look at them stacked all over the house.
post #32 of 41
Thread Starter 
We're moving in 2 weeks and our new place has a large garage (here we just have a storage closet) so I'm sure dh will have less motivaiton to go through and toss stuff.

Yesterday I threw away this yo-yo he had. It looked broken, and the string was all twisted. But then he told me it was a souveneir. So I guess you never can tell. I have all sorts of souveneirs that people might think are junk, but I do keep them more contained.
post #33 of 41
Oh I throw away stuff all the time. (Don't think that means my house is clean or organized... ) I stop myself from junking all of his nasty boxes in the basement (even though they are starting to grow mildew) but I feel free to toss ugly clothes, holey underpants, old newspapers (this is a big one in our house) and the like. It is one of the only ways I can keep this zoo under a facade of control.
post #34 of 41

why men keep their junk....

Quote:
I wonder, though, do husbands just need a certain amount of space that is theirs to store junk in and that their wives will never attempt to clean?
When my dh ( husband) and I first got married, we had to combine two households. I had been living in my apartment for YEARS, and he in his for YEARS. I really had no idea just how much stuff he had. When the moving truck arrived, I was over there to help.

OMG! It was coming out of the kitchen cabinets, the closets, the linen closet, just bags and crates of crap! I was astonished at how much junk one man could have. I tried and tried to get him to reduce some of this stuff before he moved into our house, but he wouldn't. When we got to our house with the truck, I remembered we had two storage rooms in the garage, and basically we hooked up the washer and dryer in MY storage room, and all his crap went into his storage room.

I had so few things to move into the house except the furniture, dishes and pots, small appliances and rugs. I had clothing and about 10 small boxes of knick knacks which were sentimental. I also had a piano and one bookcase of music books.

He literally had garbage, and bags and bags of those plastic grocery bags. Well, it certainly wasn't a great way to start a marriage.

At some point I tossed all the garbage and he was so mad.

We both had furniture. My furniture was in excellent condition, and he had bought his ...all of it...for about $50. It was junk. He was emotionally attached to it and I just couldn't understand it. We had agreed that we would sell his furniture, and keep mine. When it came down to it, at the moment that the people were paying way too much for it, he almost backed out! We didn't even have room for both sets. Fortunately he did sell it and I was very relieved. He told me no matter what, that he wanted to keep his bed, and so we stored it in the his storage room. We moved it with us everywhere we have moved. That and all the crap he never got rid of. It had an impact on our marriage.

You know, I think when men get married, they are happy, but there is a part that doesn't want to let go of their bachelor life. I think he wanted to keep all that junk because it reminded him of when he still had full control of his life. Getting married means comprimise, and while most men want to do that, they feel like they have to hang on to their crap. I saw a show once where the husband kept all his stuff in one of those monthly storage rooms that has the pull up door. He arranged it like an apartment, and spent HOURS there playing games, listening to his music and inviting his friends over to his secret pad. His wife didn't know about it and when she finally did know, she was livid. I think what came out of that was that he still needed to hold on to some of his past, to remember the day when he didn't need to ask his wife first before doing something.

For some reason, women move into marriage prepared for comprimise, and men have to slowly move into that position. My husband didn't want to lose control of his old life, and must have had alot of reluctance to get married even though he asked me to marry.
post #35 of 41
Kleine Hexe & I were just talking about this thread today. Her DH now has what I assume is an equally annoying plate on the front of the truck... :LOL

I recently almost threw away a bucket that had about 10 rolled up Pearl Jam Ames Bro. posters of DH's in it. I decided not to (I'm not above it believe me - I toss tons of his stuff regularly. He travels a lot & wil not get rid of T shirts. OLD ones he hasn't worn since the 80's!!!) And he recently sold 4 of them on E Bay for a total of $900 : I kid you not. I will ask before tossing anything else.
post #36 of 41
lmao at some of your stories
post #37 of 41

OMG-Me too!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Greaseball
My dh has three dressers full of clothes he never wears! It's been a constant source of struggle. I finally said it was fine if they stayed in the garage. So tempted to throw those out...
At least they're in dressers My dh has just as many in various places around the house.

Mary Beth of Paul(8), Harry(6), and Timmy(3)
post #38 of 41
...
post #39 of 41
My dh will wear his clothes until they are NASTY. He works in the kitchen in our restaurant all day and plus, he is just a messy person. So they get stained, etc. But he doesn't ever want to buy new ones.

One pair of shorts were just beyond gross, and he kept wearing them. I suggested he throw them away but he refused. So.... every time I would wash them and put them away, I would secretly take my seam ripper and take out just a few stitches here and there. Lo and behold, one day they ripped at the crotch while he was at work. He threw them away. :LOL
post #40 of 41
Thread Starter 
My dh used to be a cook at a Mexican restaurant and would come home all greasy! And he saved every t-shirt he had from that restaurant. He has a whole dresser full of them. All covered in grease stains.
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