Cheerleading?

[Suzannah]

Nearly 5 year old DD wants to cheerlead (?is that a verb?); I was thrilled that I couldn't find any organizations that accepted children as young as DD (wasn't looking too hard), but one came across my desk at work, literally, and now I don't know what to do.

Yes, I know that cheerleading at a certain level is a competitive, athletic sport, but at all of the others, it is (IMHO) butt-waving, skirt-flipping silliness. I also don't particularly want DD, who is in a great big hurry to grow up, to be sexualized at such a young age; I have seen dance companies for little kids that have 6-8 year olds simulating sex (the bump and grind thing).

But she SO WANTS TO DO IT, and if there is a lot of dancing and jumping and stuff, okay. What are your opinions? Any cheerleaders in your house? We need to sign up on Saturday (if we do) so any feedback, positive or negative, would be welcomed.

[AmandaBL]

I think the bump & grind type stuff comes mainly from dance/cheer/tumble studios where you would have to pay for the privledge to have your daughter taught that. Those are the most competitave squads at young ages. You'll find lots of pagent moms there. I'd steer clear.

What you could tolerate (probably ) would be some community based, virtually free (maybe a $30 - $60 enrollment/uniform fee) thing like Police Atheltic League, YMCA kind of thing. That would be more fun focused than competition. I grew up a cheerleader & cheered in college too. I was (and am) a girly girl. I think some kids are just that way. I played softball too if that helps! If it was my kid & there was a community type thing avaliable, I'd let her do it to see if she really liked it or if it was a phase. Maybe you could ballance it with soccer or T ball or something? My son is 6 and has always had girls on his T ball. There's always one or 2 dressed entirely in pink with matching pony tails who just hate it - I think the kids make it pretty clear what they want. But, for the last 2 seasons, our best players were girls too. Who knows? Good luck.

[ChiroWife]

I was a cheerleader as was my Sister. We used to do cheerleading 'camp' for the elemetary kids and they loved it!

Could you call the program director and ask about the bump and grind? At this age it may just be learning basic cheers, jumps, easy stunts, and a dance routine.

I would let my DD do it if I felt comfortable with the overall program.

[stafl]

cheerleading can be a serious sport, or it can be sexy silliness, or anywhere in between. Just find the right program. I have no problem with my DD wanting to cheer, but I'll probably try to steer her more in the direction of gymnastics or dance if she's open to that instead. We have put it off for the time being, she had to stop wearing diapers first. Well, now she's out of diapers, but hasn't mentioned it lately....

[darlindeliasmom]

I don't know that I'd trust that the cheerleading coaches in community sports organizations are enlightened...dd has learned cheers from her friends who do it. My personal favorite: The gigolo. "Jiggle high, jiggle low; that's the way we gigolo". (these girls are 7-8). DD desperately wants to join these girls because this is the cool thing to do...I'm saying no. If I said yes, I sure would be the PITA mom who "suggested" removing this cheer from the repertoire. Guess that's one way to go?

[sincitymama]

Maybe you could check out hte particular program you have available. Go watch a practice, see what the routines are like. If they work up to a performance or something byt hte end of the program they might have video of previous classes? That way you could watch and see if it's just basic cheer/stunt/dance stuff for little kids, or the bump-and-grind stuff you want to avoid. Maybe check out hte older kids too, see what kind of stuff they do, in case your daughter wants to keep it up you'll know that things will stay age-appropriate.

Cheering can be a real sport though. I think cheerleaders are definitely athletes. My mom likes to tell how when she was in high school, she was a cheerleader. The boys varsity basketball team would rag on them about how it wasn'tthat hard, not a real sport, etc..
So the junior varsity cheerleaders invited the varsity basketball team to practice and work out with them. Half of those guys couldn't get through it! And they didn't pick on the cheerleaders anymore after seeing the girls do more fingertip push-ups than they could do

I think cheerleading is one of those things-you know, the easier something looks, the harder it actually is?

Sorry to go off on a tangent. But yeah, I htink your best bet is to check out the individual organization you'd be using. That's the only way to know what to expect from it.

[amydidit]

I agree you should try and watch a practice... at the very least talk to the coaches and find out how they work with the young kids. My DD was a cheeleader for a short time... she was 8 and in the youngest division (had kids 5-9 all mixed in together)... it was DISGUSTING what they had those kids do! Soooo much butt wiggling and bump and grind stuff... it made me sick! I'm a former cheerleader and even has a teenager we NEVER did anything that sexual! I pulled my DD out because it was so bad (there were other reasons as well, but that was the final straw). Next year we're going to most likely sign her up through her school which handles it more as a sport.

So, bottom line... I'd let my DD be a cheerleader that young IF I'd determined already that they are going to be working at really being cheerleaders... not just little harlots.

[~*max*~]

I was a cheerleader right through until college, coached cheerleading, the works. And I am sooooooooo hoping my girls do not want to be cheerleaders. I agree that it can be a sport and is definately hard work (and fun), but I hate the sexualized overtures - the uniforms (now all w/the midriff showing & barely covering their bottoms), the moves, the music, the emphasis on physical appearances. Young girls have it tough enough. They do not need a team sport to normalize this behavior.

My oldest dd (age 5) is the biggest girly-girl ever. We enrolled her in dance class to channel this energy positively and she loves it. She is learning ballet & tap from a professional dancer, but she is also learning postive self image, self esteem, and self respect. She is part of a group, so she is making friends and practicing social skills too. I am very happy with this experience overall. It is a perfect fit for her personality.

I know that some day we will be faced with the cheerleader thing too, and I do not know how I will handle it. Hopefully it will be when my dd is old enough for us to have had discussions about these topics, and then she will be able to make the decision for herself. OP, I feel your pain mama! Good luck. I know you will make the right decision for your family.

[AmandaBL]

"Jiggle high, jiggle low; that's the way we gigolo". (these girls are 7-8).

That is so wrong. I can't believe nobody's parents freaked out over that one!!!!! When I was in highschool I was planning on trying out for the UF squad my senior year. My entire Jr year, and the first few months of my Sr year went like this. 5am-6am worked out in the football weight room 6-7am planned cheerleading practice (I was capt) 7am-8:30 I had debate practice at my school 8:30 - 1:00 I had regular classes - I got out early because I had enough credits. 2:00 - 3:30 I had debate practice with an all boys school (they were REALLY good & invite students from other schoolsto make up a fake team to debate for practice) at 4 I was back at my school for cheerleading & from 5:30 - 6 I would run. I was in incredible shape. At 5'7" I weighed 160 with very very little body fat. I was turned down at my 2nd tryout at UF because for my height I was only allowed to weigh 146. That's the down side, and anyone who wants to cheer as a real sport is still subjected to this. I went th Oklahoma State which wasn't a tuff on the numbers. It was very dissapointing. That kind of thing would be my main concern if I had a daughter. I can see an eating disorder resulting from that kind of pressure.

[Houdini]

Our church has a cheerleading program through a program called Upward. The Upward Program also include baseball, soccer, and flag football (the girls cheer for this one). They don't have all the inappropriate cheers I have seen in the elementary age cheer camps.

[Carolinamidwife]

I'm against it from a feminist standpoint. My mom was against it which is, presumably, where I got it. I feel like girls need to know they can play football or play basketball and don't have to stand on the sidelines cheering on the boys. That's JMO... I feel really strongly against cheerleading and I hope I don't have to deal with this issue. If my dd wants something similar and athetics is what she is interested in I will fully support her taking gymnastics.

[~*max*~]

Sheena, your post made me remember something else - yes, I was a cheerleader, but am totally : about it now (until this thread, so don't tell anyone MDC!). I have since come into my feminist self, and that is what I hope to teach to my children.

[Mere]

Originally Posted by Sheena

I'm against it from a feminist standpoint. My mom was against it which is, presumably, where I got it. I feel like girls need to know they can play football or play basketball and don't have to stand on the sidelines cheering on the boys. That's JMO... I feel really strongly against cheerleading and I hope I don't have to deal with this issue. If my dd wants something similar and athetics is what she is interested in I will fully support her taking gymnastics.

No offense to former chearleaders on this board, but I can't help but agree with Sheena here. Dd wanting to become a chearleader is my worst nightmare. While I totally agree that it is athletic and challenging, it still relegates women to the sideline to cheer for the boys, who of course take center stage. Plus, these days I think it is a downright unhealthy activity for young girls to engage in, as it seems to all center around appearances.

It's too bad there isn't a sport that is a cross between dancing and gymnastics, but that has a specatator base all to it's own (much like a gymnastic meet).

Suzannah, I'm sorry for your quandry - it is a hard one. I don't know what I'd do! I'd hate to flat out deny my dd the opportunity to participate in something that she really wants to do, but I'd really feel uneasy about her participating in an activity I feel opposed to. COuld she be pacified by taking a dance or gymnastics class instead?

[AmandaBL]

We cheered for girls teams too & I think that's the norm now, but I would like it a lot more if it was cool to be a guy cheerleader & a girl lineman (linewoman???) haha

[Ellien C]

I was a cheeleader

I was a cheerleader my senior year in college. I was FAR too much of a feminist to do it in HS - and I was also a pretty serious debater. I was also in ROTC and played a lot of dungeons & dragons in college. But in the end, I decided that I had always wanted to be a cheerleader and my senior year in college would be my last year to do it. I was one of 5 (total) cheerleaders at my Division III school. Tryouts were non-competitive - if you wanted to do it, you were in - hence the 5 of us.

It was a fine experience really - My "base" was even another woman from ROTC. In the end, I love to tell people that I was a cheerleader. I think you just shouldn't make a big deal about this with your 5 year old. Just like I did in college, she is trying on different roles.

You can, and should, talk to her though about how it feels and what she thinks of things. What about the children who play sports, how does it feel to cheer them on, what does she think about the moves, etc? There's a good opportunity here to help her develop her own sense of values, rather than trying to impose yours on her. (That sounds worse than I meant. I'm betting that you would prefer a child who CHOOSES on her own not to cheer, rather than one who always wanted to, but never did because mom wouldn't let her. And what I'm saying is that the only way out the other side, may be through the middle. In other words, it may be something she needs to do before she decides she doesn't like the way it makes her feel)

On the other hand, the nice thing about cheerleading is that, like Dungeons and Dragons (and everything in ROTC) it is cooperative, rather than competitive. Alfie Kohn has some good writings on competitition. You might read some cooperative game literature before you decide that team sports with their competition and win-lose aspect is less evil than cheeleading. There really aren't winners and loosers in cheerleading.

With a strong mother like yourself, I think this is something she will probably grow out of. For myself, it took until college (sr. year) for me not to care what people thought and said about cheerleading and to decide I just wanted to do it because I wanted to. I learned a lot about cooperation and safe climbing and jumping.

My worst fear isn't that my DD will want to be a cheerleader. It's that she becomes a republican - lol!

[AmandaBL]

My worst fear isn't that my DD will want to be a cheerleader. It's that she becomes a republican - lol!

hahaha

[Mere]

Originally Posted by Ellien C

My worst fear isn't that my DD will want to be a cheerleader. It's that she becomes a republican - lol!

:LOL

I totally agree with everything you said Ellien, but there would always be this tinge of fear that my daughter might not get it, even if we talked about it to death. I guess this is where the hard, "letting go" part of parenting comes in...

[Carolinamidwife]

Originally Posted by AmandaBL

My worst fear isn't that my DD will want to be a cheerleader. It's that she becomes a republican - lol!

hahaha

LOL!!! ITA!

[AmandaBL]

well, I have only boys, one of which is a step son raised by a mainstream, less than...... how do you say?.............. not my kind of mom.

MY worst fear is that one of them will bring home a republican, formula feeder ....... PREGNANT!!!

I'm off to have a glass of wine......

[Suzannah]

Thanks for all the replies; I did try to call the organization, but their message box was full.

I am leaning towards no, at least for now. We told DD that she would have to play a sport first, so she knew what she was cheering for, and I am just not comfortable about it on so many levels that I don't think I can bring myself to sign her up.

I always said that if I ever had a child the only way they would be able to rebel would be to become a Republican, but I guess she found another way in cheerleading!!