Help needed! Anyone been a support person at a hypnobirth?

[mamabutterfly]

Help! I need some input on an impending birth... Have any of you served as a support person/doula/friend to a mama using hypnobirthing? Could you tell me about your experience?

Or if you have labored using self-hypnosis yourself - could you tell me about the roles of those who were there supporting you, whoever they were?

I'll add a little more about my circumstances later, but am looking for whatever input folks have first. Thanks so much!!!!

mb

[mamabutterfly]

Bumping!
I know some of us have some experience with hypnobirth - maybe it won't be easy to find them quickly... I'm trying to navigate my expectations and those of the mom in question. I'd love to hear how this went for others.

thanks! mamabutterfly

[vicky72]

Well....I am not sure this is what you are looking for, but here it goes!!! In the past 6 months I've been the nurse for 3 laboring women who used hypnobirthing. It worked well for each of them in different ways. One was an induction for postdates(I think). It was LONG induction, and I cared for her during the delivery portion of her labor. She had opted for an epidural and some point and was feeling prettty bad about that. I know she said that the hypnobirthing helped her focus to push. I didn't like that she said she felt like a failure because of the epidural. Another woman was having he 3rd child and I honestly think that the hypno was making he focus on he contractions too much, I know that may seem odd for me to say but she seemed to really focus on he latent labor contractions, thus bringing he in to the hospital very early in her labor. The third woman could have been taped for a hypnobirthing video :LOL She came in at 8.5cm. Her Midwife was running to get there in time!! First baby and pushed for about 30 min, was focused and so calm, he husband caught the babe, It was great!! I was impressed. I have never gone to a hypnobirthing class, nor did I use it for my son's birth, I think I am too ummm shalll we say verbal, when I birth to be hypno anything YIKES. well I hope this helped a bit. If used at a home birth it may be different ofcourse.

[Spark]

Hi, I just have a second to post, but Hypno is a fav topic of mine. The different programs have different key phrases to say to remind moms of where to go. Things like, "Mother and baby working together" "Each surge brings my baby closer to me" and a bunch of other things, too. Typically the partner will be saying these suggestions. Or the mom will be listening to the CD that says these things.

The mom should know what parts of the program she likes best. For one labor I liked the "Glove of anensthesia" Awful name, but still it worked well for me. My parter would lightly touch one forarm stroking from hand to elbow, hand to elbow, hand to elbow.

If I were you though, I'd ask the mom if she wants you to actively participate in the hypno or just support her as you normally would.

Typically she's just looking for normal support. Make sure you ask her what she wants contractions to be called. Some programs suggest calling them "surges" instead. Also, some hypno programs will suggest laying down to fully relax during labor and not move too much. This goes against a lot of natural intuition. So you may want to talk to her about her expectations about movement during labor.

Was that what you were looking for? I wasn't so sure either. Feel free to PM me if you'd like more specifics. I'll try to check back here though.

[mamabutterfly]

Originally Posted by vicky72

Well....I am not sure this is what you are looking for, but here it goes!!! In the past 6 months I've been the nurse for 3 laboring women who used hypnobirthing. It worked well for each of them in different ways.

Thanks so much for sharing your experiences, Vicky! It is helpful to hear how different it was for everyone. I'm thinking this mom reminds me of your second example... but I'm hopeful that maybe I'm wrong, & she'll be just like your third mom!

[mamabutterfly]

Originally Posted by Spark

If I were you though, I'd ask the mom if she wants you to actively participate in the hypno or just support her as you normally would.

Typically she's just looking for normal support. Make sure you ask her what she wants contractions to be called. Some programs suggest calling them "surges" instead. Also, some hypno programs will suggest laying down to fully relax during labor and not move too much. This goes against a lot of natural intuition. So you may want to talk to her about her expectations about movement during labor.

Thanks for your thoughts, Spark! I was really excited about this situation at first, and was thinking really closely along the lines you describe, that she would be doing her thing and I'd offer support in the various ways I normally would (encouragement, massage, offering water, compresses, keeping the mood calm, whatever), as she asked me to.

But it's been unsettling because she seems far less empowered about the process, and seems to believe the hypnobirthing practice will be the 'job' of her support people (mainly, me). She's wonderful and I think she could have a beautiful birth but unfortunately I've had some doubts lately as I've felt somehwat of an expectation to 'cause' a certain outcome for her, when I think this isn't the way hypnobirthing can work.

I have to run, I'll pm you though later, thanks.

mb

[PuppyFluffer]

My dh and I went to a hypnobirthign class taught by a friend. My instructor/friend was also at the birth.

I found that I was so inwardly turned and focused that any touch or talking to me was a distraction. Dh would try to stroke me and all I could do was put my hand up in a "stop" gesture. I did enjoy holding his hand and would give him a little squeeze when contraction was beginning just to give him an idea of what was going on.

You could have videoed me for a hypnobirthing instructional video too. Birth was pain free for me. I have always believed that my body could do it and that it did not have to be a painful traumatic experience if I were in an environment that felt safe and if I kept my head out of the way of my body's instinctual work.....and it worked for me.

Feel free to pm me about any details you may want from my experience.

[natashaccat]

Originally Posted by mamabutterfly

Thanks for your thoughts, Spark! I was really excited about this situation at first, and was thinking really closely along the lines you describe, that she would be doing her thing and I'd offer support in the various ways I normally would (encouragement, massage, offering water, compresses, keeping the mood calm, whatever), as she asked me to.

But it's been unsettling because she seems far less empowered about the process, and seems to believe the hypnobirthing practice will be the 'job' of her support people (mainly, me). She's wonderful and I think she could have a beautiful birth but unfortunately I've had some doubts lately as I've felt somehwat of an expectation to 'cause' a certain outcome for her, when I think this isn't the way hypnobirthing can work.

I have to run, I'll pm you though later, thanks.

mb

Really I think it's her responsibility to tell you specifically how she wants you to support her. She should give you a support birth plan, make it her "homework" kwim

[mom2emerson]

My DH and I did hypnobirthing with our DD. I whole heartedly give it a thumbs up. As far as you being a support person though, I would not recommend you do it unless you are really familiar with the "program" (for lack of better word). Could you take classes with your friend? or at the very least get a book/tapes/etc? The classes I took gave several different techniques to use at different stages. Important, because as PuppyFluffer (love that name!!!) pointed out, what worked for someone else DID NOT work for her.

My DH did a pretty good job of being a support person but honestly, he kind of "forgot" alot of the hypnobirthing stuff toward the end (when I needed it even more). During the first stage I was just like PuppyFluffer and could easily get into this wonderful state of relaxation and preferred to not be touched. But when I was getting close to, at transition and during pushing, I could have used more prompts and guided relaxation and I think he was (for good reason) a little lost.

I was a back-up support for my SIL recently (stepped in when her DH needed a break) and used alot of the techniques used in hynobirthing. Although she didn't take the classes (she wasn't confident in her DH's ability to commit to the program) she was familiar with them from having watched me and from our conversations. She also practiced yoga and was familiar with meditation practices so she took well to it. I was amazed to literally FEEL her body go into relaxation as I talked her through her contractions (like me, she needed or responded best to verbal prompts too).

I'm looking forward to using hypnobirthing again and I know my DH will be a star this time around because he does know what to expect and I can tell him, "wow, I needed this or that a little more".

Hope this helped.