Loved my intrathecal! No natural childbirth for me EVER again! - Page 8

[thismama]

Originally Posted by Marsupialmuma

Agree to disagree.. agree to disagree.. its a great mantra!

Own your own experience... don't negate what other women say about their births... there's a mantra for you.

[ashleep]

Originally Posted by IdentityCrisisMama

Can I come birth with you? :LOL

:LOL

[Yummymummy74]

Originally Posted by wasabi

MM I'm curious do you think if you are unattended but plan to have an attendant at some point during the process that then you will have pain the whole time? I don't have many friends who actually UCed but I do have many friends who labored at home until as late as possible and baiscally showed up to the hospital pushing and they all had pain. As I shared I labored at home unattended for right around 10 hours of my 13.5 hour labor. But I still had pain. Is this because I was going to have an attendant?

well I think that there is no such thing as being unattended with an attendant its sort of a giant contradiction in my books.. I think UC is more of a mindset from the start kwim? there is a different mentality that goes along with it your not just handing the power off to someone else and expecting them to give you the "good outcome" I think fear of birth is where alot of pain comes from and then I think that attendants affect you on levels you may or may not be aware of .. its interesting! really there are soo many levels to this! I think everyone is bent about my pain comments but nowhere was it discussed that anyone should define pain.. in fact I was not the one who even used the word painless in generalization I used painless about my own experience as yes it 98% was! the only uncomfortable part was when he her head and body popped out. I am not the one who invented the whole fight or flight response its a well documented fact.. in times of adrenaline surges the body shunts blood to the vital organs and if your panicking and upset in labour well .. I think thats going to cause more pain than not.

Anyhow I am getting tired of my comments getting all twisted around here :LOL

[Yummymummy74]

Originally Posted by thismama

Own your own experience... don't negate what other women say about their births... there's a mantra for you.

Agree to disagree agree to disagree... great mantra! fabulous!

[thismama]

Originally Posted by Marsupialmuma

Agree to disagree agree to disagree... great mantra! fabulous!

Are you seriously repeating your last post? Sort of like yes, no, yes, no?

The discussion between us has degenerated. I've said my piece... several times. You are not going to get it.

Thanks everyone else for a great discussion. I'm outta here for now. May come back to the larger discussion later, as I think it's a good one.

[Yummymummy74]

Originally Posted by IdentityCrisisMama

One thing that has been said before is that all births are different. My mom had 5 births and #3 was the most difficult.

Maybe part of what people are getting upset over is that you’re saying that you know absolutely which factors led to your pain free birth.

But, honestly, how can you know? Do you think you could have had a pain-free UC with your first child?

I don’t know, it seems like you’re assuming some stuff here too, yk?

Sure all births are different I can concur with that one! oh I do know what absolutely led to my painfree birth.. and I have already explained why I most definately know I would not have been subjected to the horrors I was in my first birth had I have known what I know now.. and not bought into the medical model of birth I was young I was stupid and I trusted *them* I know almost assuredly that my first birth could have been SOOO very different if I had of been left alone to do my own thing and not subjected to my attendants ideas about what my body should be doing.

[Yummymummy74]

Originally Posted by thismama

Are you seriously repeating your last post? Sort of like yes, no, yes, no?

The discussion between us has degenerated. I've said my piece... several times. You are not going to get it.

Thanks everyone else for a great discussion. I'm outta here for now. May come back to the larger discussion later, as I think it's a good one.

I am just singing my peaceful song here thismama.. Agree to disagree !

Peace

[gottaknit]

*I* personally find it rude that this thread has been hijacked to debate UC. (I'm using my *I* language, here. )

Can we please keep it on topic. If no one is interested in the OP anymore, maybe someone should start a new thread about UC, attendants causing pain, whatever. Aren't there any mods in this forum?

To the OP: I'm sorry your homebirth was a horrible experience for you. I'm happy for you that you were able to find a way to birth your second child that brought you joy.

[IdentityCrisisMama]

Originally Posted by Marsupialmuma

oh I do know what absolutely led to my painfree birth.. and I have already explained why

Just being UC? Could it not also have had to do with having had 6 previous births? Could it not have been an ‘easy’ birth to begin with? Maybe you were older and wiser?


I’m not trying to argue with you. I just can’t entirely relate to you.


For me, my birth was about 50 different things. Even politics! (see birth date) There were just so, so many factors. My relationship with my partner, my pregnancy, my home, my neighbors, my support, my pervious experience with birth, my mother…Not to mention, labor length, time, position, my health…the fact that I vomited the entire time :LOL


But, I really shouldn’t say that, because this was my reality, you can’t simply know that being unassisted was the factor of a pain-free birth. I can say that I can’t relate to this kind of confidence in knowing.

I’m just having trouble relating, that’s all.

[IdentityCrisisMama]

Originally Posted by gottaknit

*I* personally find it rude that this thread has been hijacked to debate UC. (I'm using my *I* language, here. )

Yes, I agree. I'm sorry, OP.

I had completely forgotten. I’m sitting up with a vomiting child and needed to chat. This was not the place for it.

I’m sorry.


Back on topic…

[wasabi]

I don't think I was debating UC at all. I have never said or implied that anyone should not UC. I am questioning whether UC guarantees a pain-free birth because pain is only caused by attendants but I'll check out the other thread.

[famousmockngbrd]

Originally Posted by Marsupialmuma

I think UC is more of a mindset from the start kwim? there is a different mentality that goes along with it your not just handing the power off to someone else and expecting them to give you the "good outcome"

I don't think having an attendant inherently means "handing the power off to someone else". Maybe this is part of where the misunderstanding is coming from. If you can only feel like you are in control if you are alone, then maybe that does have a big impact on your perception of pain and your ability to handle it, which I think is an even bigger part of the equation. But this is not true for all women - I do *not* see myself as handing control over to my midwife and absolving myself of all responsibility for the outcome, good or bad, of my birth experience.

This is really OT, even for this thread :LOL but a few pages ago the evolutionary history of the birth process was touched on - I have read that it is not actually our big heads/brains that cause pain in labor, but the fact that we walk upright. Our pelvises have become unnaturally tilted which makes it more difficult to push out a baby, and more painful. Just thought I'd throw that out there.

[sarajane]

Back on topic…

I'm not sure I know what the topic is exactly. :

What exactly are we trying to talk about?

[RiceMomma]

How sad. A poor mama comes here to post about her traumatic birth, and it turns into a nasty off-topic flame war. I agree, how very rude.

To the OP, I'm so sorry for your negative experience with your first birth. I too have had a traumatic birthing experience. Completely different circumstances-- it was an unplanned homebirth that left me thinking homebirthers must be insane! Short labor, very very intense. I've since had another baby, and come to the conclusion that I would have been more comfortable at home. :LOL But that's me. We're all different, and so is each birth. It is too bad that you weren't informed about how painful it truly could be. Sometimes I wonder if birth might be a better experience for first time moms if we'd been involved with the process before our own first births. Perhaps if birth was more a part of our culture, if we were more familiar with it, we wouldn't have to rely on books or what people tell us, we would already know what to expect- kind of- as every birth and every person is different. For me, even after taking the prepared childbirth classes and reading tons, I was not prepared for what would/could happen until I'd had my third baby- not even after my first was I prepared. Even now, I'm pregnant with my fourth, and nervous about the pain of birth. Working through those feelings, but they are there.

Hugs.

[thismama]

Originally Posted by RiceMomma

How sad. A poor mama comes here to post about her traumatic birth, and it turns into a nasty off-topic flame war. I agree, how very rude.

Well yes it did turn nasty, but I'm not so sure about off topic. My interpretation of the topic is that it's about whether mamas are entitled to feel however we feel about our births, and to cope with them however we choose.

I'm sorry there is a "whether" in this topic, and that the focus hasn't been more toward supporting all mamas and sharing our experiences constructively and without judgment.

[ramlita]

[IdentityCrisisMama]

FMB, this is for you

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=268421

OP, PM'd you!

[gottaknit]

Originally Posted by RiceMomma

Sometimes I wonder if birth might be a better experience for first time moms if we'd been involved with the process before our own first births. Perhaps if birth was more a part of our culture, if we were more familiar with it, we wouldn't have to rely on books or what people tell us, we would already know what to expect- kind of- as every birth and every person is different.

This is an excellent point! Birth and mothering have become so sterile and alien in our culture, that no one knows what is normal anymore. This applies to breastfeeding, also.

[thismama]

Originally Posted by gottaknit

This is an excellent point! Birth and mothering have become so sterile and alien in our culture, that no one knows what is normal anymore. This applies to breastfeeding, also.

Yeah yeah yeah! I read TONNES about birth, but was still completely unprepared for how much it would hurt or how intense it would be. If I'd actually SEEN natural birth in real life I would not have been so shocked.

Same with breastfeeding. I had never seen a mama nursing before going to LLL when I was pg.

How can we expect to smoothly transition thru these earth-shaking experiences without having seen and experienced them?

[lisamarie]

WOW, what an amazing, powerful, passionate thread! This forum is "Birth and Beyond" and the OP came her to talk about just that, even though it may seem like a strange place to do so. (BTW, thanks mamasaurus for coming back and checking in w/us). Even though many of us here experience natural births, every birth is different. Different levels of pain, types of birth, and choices. Everyone has their own story and opinions. Please, remember though, no personal attacks.

Warmly~

Lisa