Loved my intrathecal! No natural childbirth for me EVER again! - Page 12

[Thmom]

Originally Posted by Greaseball

I wonder how much is also due to the knowledge in the back of every woman's mind that "it doesn't have to be this way?"

I mean, every woman who decides on a home or unmedicated birth knows that there are hospitals and drugs available to her and all she has to do is ask. I knew that I could ask for an epidural or c-section at any time. Especially at birth #2, I was thinking to myself that I had already had an unmedicated birth with #1 so therefore no one would judge me for taking drugs with #2.

I actually strongly disagree with this... I have UC's so going to a hospital to get drugs or a section would cause me an immense amount of grief. I honestly don't believe that medication is an option for me. I've done the research and drugs just are not an option.. period.. I'd like to find an anesthia alternative if I need an emergency section.... I dunno but I wouldn't accept unsurgery related drugs in labor anymore than I would accept street drugs in labor...

Now... this said... I have attended women that have used Stadol and seen them be able to relax and handle the rest of labor better. I've also seen women have epidurals that allowed them to relax enough to dilate 5 cm in 20min and push out a baby in 10...

I think it's incrediably important for every woman to be fully aware of the risks of medication and to have the inner strength to do what is best for her and her baby without concern for the thoughts or feelings of anyone but her and her child.

[mrspeeper]

Originally Posted by Thmom

I think it's incrediably important for every woman to be fully aware of the risks of medication and to have the inner strength to do what is best for her and her baby without concern for the thoughts or feelings of anyone but her and her child.

Amen, Mama!

[meowee]

good for you. don't let anyone tell you what to think or feel about your own childbirth and body, whether they are crunchies or medical types.

the important thing is ATTACHMENT and LOVE. hold your baby tight and don't ever apologize. attachment isn't about not having pain meds during the birth. it's about attachment.

[mandalamama]

Originally Posted by funshine

I wish that instead of debating whether or not birth is painful, we invited women to evaluate their own experiences/beliefs/attitudes with/about pain and we discussed what birth pain is and how it is different from other types of pain, like pain related to infection, injury, surgery. Birth pain, for the majority who experience it, is a physiological pain caused by our body doing a normal thing, and can be useful to us in labor. The other types of pain, with which most of us have much more experience and which shape our culture's approach to pain in general, are pathological forms of pain, they tell us that something is wrong with our body.

if a separate thread hasn't already been started about this, it should be! i think this would be a fantastic discussion: "how did you feel about your birth pain?"

i mean, i might be a little weird but i LOVED labor even when it was excruciating. i had a necessary c-birth and i really regret that i didn't get to experience vaginal birth. pain or no pain, i had so strongly visualized myself reaching down to touch Willow's head as she came out and i still mourn the loss of that very deeply.

hell yeah labor was painful, especially when i went through transition - i didn't know i was in transiation at the time, my doulas were keeping track, i went through transition at least 3 times as Willow's head dipped down into the birth canal and bobbed back up on her very short, wrapped cord. i do have a high pain threshhold because i've been disabled with arthritis and fibromyalgia for many years and have developed a ton of pain-coping styles. so i wasn't afraid of the pain of birth at all, i was only afraid of interventions (hence 2 doulas!). i experienced the pains as riding the world's largest roller-coaster, sometimes it felt like cliff-diving - basically a HUGE rush of endorphins that helped me ride the waves.

i only hated the pain once i knew i had to have a c-birth, then it became an intrusion, something that wasn't welcome. because i knew it wasn't bringing my daughter any closer to me. so i think that how a woman perceives her birth environment and circumstances has a LOT to do with how much pain she'll experience.

[orangebird]

Originally Posted by NoraB

I imagine that, to most women, the word "rape" conjures up the most terrible sense of violation possible. To say that a woman who has not been raped according to a certain definition has no right to use the word is highly disrespectful. Feelings are so subjective and there are many ways to violate another person.

I had a c/s w/ my DD. Afterward, I felt terribly violated by the surgery. I couldn't help thinking over and over about how the doctors had their hands inside my body, how they had handled my internal organs and discussed them like so many bits of meat. I did feel raped. Is it okay for me to use that word b/c I was sexually abused as a child? If I had not been, would I have no claim to it?

Birth is profoundly sexual, whether we always aknowledge it or not. I have had surgery before and not felt that sense of terror and violation. Yet, w/ my c/s (scheduled and ultimately chosen by me to boot) I experienced horrible and completely unexpected trauma. I had many moments of irrational terror afterward. I have mostly healed, but am left w/ a profound distrust for doctors and surgery in general.

And whether the trauma was caused by malintent on the part of the doctor is not really a good measure either. I've no doubt that my doctors had no intent of causing me harm. They had no idea how the c/s would impact me. They believed it was the best possible course of action...and I agreed until I actually had the c/s. Does that mean I have no claim to feel violated?

I think I can understand some of the sensitivity about the use of the word "rape." If one was recovering from rape, the idea of another using the word casually would beyond horrible. I don't think it was used casually in this context. If the discussion had been about paying too much for internet access and a person used the word "rape" that would be casual. The use of the word in the context of a traumatic birth could never be called casual, IMO.

I was raped. I was raped by a complete stranger before I had even ever had sex. I don't have a problem with women using the word "rape" to describe their being violated at the hands of doctors. I felt "raped" after the birth of my first child. And actually I think I was more traumatized by that "rape" than the real actual rape I experienced. I am not sure which one has effected me more. But that is my opinion. I guess some people are offended by people using it in this context. As someone who has experienced both, I don't find it bothersome. And having been raped as a reference point I can totally see how the term is completely relevant.