Loved my intrathecal! No natural childbirth for me EVER again! - Page 4

[Debstmomy]

Originally Posted by pamamidwife

we don't think we deserve to be in pain in our culture. we take pills for EVERYTHING.

not to mention the fact that women who are sexually abused will oftentimes have more traumatic dealings with birth because of their abuse. some find natural birth empowering, others feel like they're being victimized all over again.

This is what I was thinking exactly! I think that the OP was not really sure of what to expect. Perhaps never having been around birth before, & the way some describe their births, that is what she was expecting. Her expectations were high & her reality was not near them. Also we (most americans) come from the era where Pain=Bad/Negative. There IS a pill for EVERYTHING, and we are bombarded with these images constantly!

I was also thinking something along the lines of abuse in her past as well. (Could be completley wrong) Sensations of birth are incredible & that is why women are so vulnerable during this time. I am sad she did not feel empowered afterward. I am sad that she felt such negative feelings to such a powerful event.

[wasabi]

Ramlah what you're describing is exactly how I felt. I was 100% sure I was tearing horribly into my urinary tract. It's too bad that my only natural labor was absolutely my best labor but my 2nd birth which was medicated for last hour or so was hands down my best birth. And like you I was ready to go. Did not fear birth had every confidence in my body--too bad my medwife didn't. It is good to hear that it went better when you were upright. I'm hoping those changes make a big difference with this birth.

[sugarbeth]

As a momma who's done it both ways, I can totally understand the OP's point of view.

I wanted a natural childbirth with my first. I was Bradley trained, had a great coach of a husband, great midwives. After 40+ hours of labor and stalling in transition at 9 cm, I ended up with an epidural. For the longest time, I was always so bummed out that I couldn't go the distance after making it so far. I wanted to feel that urge to push, and feel that whoosh as the baby comes out.

So I went for natural childbirth again for my second baby, and it went faster this time and I was able to do it. I had a labor pool, I was in complete control, and silently dealt with my contractions all the way until transition. Then the pain was excruciating. I wanted to claw my way out of my own skin and run away. I never felt that urge to push like I'd always heard about, didn't feel pressure, just overwhelming pain. And when my son came out, all I was thinking about was that the hurting was over. I was beaten and spent. I didn't even want to hold my baby until I felt better.

With my first, I was coherent and euphoric, uncontrollably giddy, and I swept my baby girl up onto my chest and loved on her immediately. With my natural childbirth, I was waaay more out of it and couldn't even bear to hold my son right away.

It really gave me a new perspective on my first birth. I no longer feel sad that I had that epidural. And now I sorta wish that I'd gotten one for my second birth.

Sure, I'm proud of myself for doing it. There's something about knowing that I CAN do it. But I wish that I enjoyed it more. I didn't.

Mommas all experience childbirth differently. Some women's bodies are built to handle delivering with little to no pain. And some of us apparently have way too many dang pain receptors in all the wrong places!

You can't knock a momma down for her own experiences - they're her own, and she's entitled to have an opinion about them. Even on MDC - sure, it's about all things natural, but natural is not always pretty. It's okay to say that.

[ramlita]

Wasabi- Thank you! Me too!
I feel like I learned so much from DD's birth, it has really helped me feel more prepared for this one.
I think my new midwife will be a much better match too!

I love to think of a birth where pushing is a pleasant, brief time that leads right to having a baby in my arms!

[captain optimism]

Originally Posted by CaraboosMama

As a newbie to this site I was really surprised to read the title of the OP. I had the opposite experience...I had hoped to deliver w/o pain medication...but then after 4 weeks of staving off pre-term labor, my water broke & then...no regular contractions! I finally consented to induction after trying some natural methods & I really wish I hadn't. Overall, my birth experience wasn't "BAD" (I have my beautiful daugher to show for it, after all!) but I felt like I wasn't as "present" in the whole thing as I could have been. Thankfully no complications from the intrathecal (no tearing, no problems for dd) but I hope to do a homebirth the next time.

This was pretty nearly exactly my experience. (I didn't have pre-term labor, just the part about the water breaking and no contractions. Also the part about trying many different natural methods to get labor to start before agreeing to the induction.) I have not been able to find a "natural" answer to what I could have done differently to make labor begin.

I think my birth experience was actually kind of bad. My son was alert at birth but had a lot of trouble latching on, so I went from a very stressful birth to a stressful week with little sleep trying to get nursing started. We were very lucky and are nursing still!

I wonder whether midwives have researched this. We aren't the only people who have had this, even though it's not "normal." I wouldn't mind starting yet another thread about it, even though some of the comments I got the last time were pretty judgemental of me for agreeing to having labor induced. (I did wait 40 hours after the water broke, and as you know, there is quite a strong element of risk involved!) I just wonder how many people here have had this experience.

Sorry to go off topic here.

[applejuice]

I think the OP needs to examine her own reasons for choosing a homebirth in the first place.

The only reason a woman should have a homebirth is because she wants it, no one else.

[Boobs]

I had a homebirth on February 13th, too.. ... very very painful, but I survived. I did tear though and had to go to the hospital for repair. I had an intrathecal there and it was HEAVEN! Such a relief after so many hours in pain. Those 3 or 4 hours that I was numb from the waist down were such a relief.
I feel the same way the OP feels for the most part. I am very proud of myself for my natural birth, but I wouldn't do it again. My husband wouldn't support my decision to do it again. I think that's what she was getting at. You can still be a great AP mom even if you choose to not labor in pain.

[KayleeZoo]

You can still be a great AP mom even if you choose to not labor in pain.

ITA.

[darsmama]

AmandaBL, I see what you are saying I was just pointing out that if this is her 'home' message board then she should be able to post about her birth even if it is mainstream style. I admit the title is a bit uhh trollish...but..

[theelfqueen]

Originally Posted by ramlah

-Can I ask those of you who have had fast labors, was the pain more overwhelming than with your other labors?

I found my fast labor with DS2 (approx 2 hours total) VERY VERY overwhelming -- the contrax came hard and fast, right on top of one another with no break, no predictable pattern, and an evil evil woman telling me to "be quiet, you're scaring people" after she punched more holes than swiss cheese in my arm trying to place an IV, that my CNM and OB had agreed I didn't have to have, then sticking tape that I'm allergic to onto me against my protests.... resulting in welts, swelling and a miserable rash on my arm DURING labor. If it weren't for that woman, I'd probably be hospital birthing this time :LOL And ordering me off the toilet even though that's the only place I could get hold of my labor AT ALL.

But really --even without that evil woman (who was replaced by a much more wonderful nurse after I cursed her sight and ordered her out of presence, never to be seen again) it was HARD, and scary and NOT what I was "prepared" for (by a 10-12 hour back labor with posterior delivery of DS1)

[2+twins]

Pretty OT but that last post made me think of this. I think I'm the only person I've ever heard of who didn't speak negatively of back labor! I've always viewed it (and I'm just speaking for myself here) as a plus. Even right after the birth - yeah I thought the pain was really really hard - but the thing about it for me (which was completely unexpected) that I found to be an assest in how I coped was that the pain NEVER subsided. Isn't that weird - that I'd view that as a good thing? One of the things I took with me into labor from my Bradley classes was how women tend to make the mistake of using their downtime btwn contrax to dread what's coming next rather than to take the time during the contrax to anticipate relief. For me, there never was any relief - ever - and I thought that it helped me b/c I didn't fall into the trap of dreading the next contrax! :LOL But I've always been weird like that.

[sevenkids]

Originally Posted by ramlah

-Can I ask those of you who have had fast labors, was the pain more overwhelming than with your other labors?

My 2 fastest, 45 minutes for my third and 20 minutes for my sixth, were painless. If it weren't for the pressure and feeling like my butt was going to explode, I wouldn't have known I was in labour. (In fact, with my third, my mother pointed it out to me as we were having tea in the morning. "Are you in labour?" "Um, no, why?" "I think I'll send for the midwife anyway." I had the baby 45 minutes later. :LOL )

With my fifth, if there was another option open to me, I would have been to off to a hospital in a heartbeat. My midwife probably would have packed me up herself, after trying to push a 9 1/2 pound, posterior, military presenting baby out for 5 and a half hours. When his 15 inch big head finally broke my coccyx, he was able to be born. Ouch. I may not have had another (the 20 minute reward birth) homebirth if there was the option of a nice, clean hospital with pain medications and running water :LOL .

But anyhoo, as a homebirth midwife my self, I have no gripe with pain meds per se, but the over use of them and the pervading fear of having to experience a natural birth that is conveyed to the women. (Are you ready for that epidural yet? Get it quick, it'll get worse and then you can't have one!) Pain meds, when used judiciously and for the right reasons, are wonderful. So is any other technological tool; ultrasounds, cesereans, etc. We live in a fear driven culture, and that fear is used to make tons of money for certain sectors. It over rides good judgement, and that is scary.

[sevenkids]

Originally Posted by pamamidwife

while it's not uncommon to think that an exhausted uterus is one that does not contract effectively, i don't think that pain caused deaths. i would also venture to say that we are a culture of people that avoid pain at all costs, people that whine alot about pain, people who want to be martyrs, and people that want to "one up" others about their suffering. this is true. i've seen women from other cultures birth and it's VERY different. we don't think we deserve to be in pain in our culture. we take pills for EVERYTHING.

so, hundreds of years ago, it was very different. women just birthed. there was no martyrdom that came from how great your pain is. you just did it. this attitude probably allowed many women not to FEAR birth as much as it is here in this country.

Ha! You notice that too?
It always amazes me that women here love to talk about how long, how hard, and how dangerous their births were. When I was growing up in Jamaica, and when I was having my babies, women boasted about how they worked right up until it was time to go lay down and push. "Me gyal, me wash three line of clothes, raked up the yard, cooked dinner, washed the dishes, moved the goats, bathed the other children and put them to bed, ironed their school uniforms, and called the midwife. Me have baby soon after she reach! Thank Jesus me make it through alive!" :LOL

[Yummymummy74]

Originally Posted by USAmma

However this board is a place that, in the spirit of MDC, promotes natural choices over medical intervention. The epidural has a lot of risks. It would be like me going to the bfing forum and starting a thread on how great formula feeding is. It just doesn't make sense here at MDC.

Yup epidurals are not all magic they can and do go vascular anyone else here ever have that complication? I did and I survived it but some people are not so lucky.

[Yummymummy74]

Originally Posted by sugarbeth

Mommas all experience childbirth differently. Some women's bodies are built to handle delivering with little to no pain. And some of us apparently have way too many dang pain receptors in all the wrong places

Sure we do.. but bottom line I totally disagree that some womyn are better at birthing than others.. pain is largely societal conditioning and I stand firm in my opinion that attendants cause pain.. period! its all about fight or flight.

[Caroline248]

Originally Posted by Black Orchid

I can really relate to the OP, although I really REALLY hope that I can have a natural birth with the next baby. I tried, I really did... but after 3 days of back labor and just terrible, horrible contractions I broke down and asked for an epidural... and I felt so freaking guilty about it. I blamed all of the subsequent problems she had (jaundice, nursing issues, colic, reflux) on myself for having an epi Lemme tell ya, that is NOT a good way to spend your PP days and doesn't help avoid PPD.

!

Haven't read the whole thread, but wanted to comment...I had a "natural, pain free birth", and my baby still was jaundiced, had colic, and still has reflux issues....please don't hold guilt there!!

~C~

ETA: Pain free??? I meant drug-free....LOL...

[2+twins]

Originally Posted by sevenkids

"Me gyal, me wash three line of clothes, raked up the yard, cooked dinner, washed the dishes, moved the goats, bathed the other children and put them to bed, ironed their school uniforms, and called the midwife. Me have baby soon after she reach! Thank Jesus me make it through alive!" :LOL

That is classic! I love it!

[mandib50]

so let me ask a question ... how do you think the use of drugs during childbirth affects the mother/baby bond, if at all? i wonder because i know that natural childbirth releases hormones into the body that make us want to mother our babies and don't drugs interfere with that process? i do understand that many of the women on MDC have made the choice to AP regardless of their birth decisions but what about for the general population? i'm curious how this might affect mothering and what others think.
mandi

[famousmockngbrd]

Originally Posted by love_homebirthing

I think I'm the only person I've ever heard of who didn't speak negatively of back labor!... the thing about it for me (which was completely unexpected) that I found to be an assest in how I coped was that the pain NEVER subsided...

Well, that's one way of looking at it! :LOL For me personally, I feel like I can handle anything as long as I don't have to face back labor again.

[applejuice]

Originally Posted by sevenkids

Ha! You notice that too?... "Me gyal, me wash three line of clothes, raked up the yard, cooked dinner, washed the dishes, moved the goats, bathed the other children and put them to bed, ironed their school uniforms, and called the midwife. Me have baby soon after she reach! Thank Jesus me make it through alive!" :LOL

The day my last baby was born I had painted the living room of my rental house...I was trying to even out the ceiling, but the paint simply would not smooth out...I tried to open another five gallon container of paint, but I could not do it as I had "dropped" and my center of balance had changed. I walked to the school to get my three children walked them home, fed them, helped them with their homework, put them down to bed, got myself ready for bed, laid down, and then realized that I was not going to be going to sleep for a while - I had another job to do...deliver my fourth baby!! I put out a snack, boiled water, called the midwife, gor out the birth kit, filled the bathtub with warm water, and set up the camera.

I was having a baby!!

He was born at 3:06 a.m., he was welcomed by his older siblings and I made breakfast for them before taking them to school ... he was show and tell for his siblings that day!