Why does every thing have to be a production?

[Satori]

It just took 45 minutes to get clothes on and make a 1 min trip to the mail box and throw in 1 load of laundry and the laundry room is 15 foot from my door! If dd had not been home the whole thing would have been done in 4 minutes flat. Every single step around here is a production, picking clothes (just put on some freaking sweats!), putting on shoes, (just wear the Velcro ones!), getting in the car seat (no you dont need to strap in the doll and you didn't even bring her and NO were not going back up 2 flights of stairs to get her), we finally make it to the mail box at which point she starts having a cow about wanting to visit grandma. I'm sick so I say no and we come back home and I start gathering clothes up to wash... lets just say I'm sure the neighbors must think I'm some horrible mother who must do awful things to there child with the amount of screaming and crying over just trying to get the laundry into the washer... :

[UmmBnB]

Hey Mom, Hey Mom, Hey Mom! If I hear that one more time my brain may explode.
We do so love them but oh, I feeeeeel your pain!!!!

[mamalisa]

I read your title and I immediately thought, "she must have a 4 year old" :LOL

It can take us a good hour to get out of the house some days. Can you do a race? I get all of ds's clothes out, and he has to be dressed by the time I shower, dry my hair, put on make up, get dressed, take the dog out and grab my purse It's amazing how long he can take!

Four years old has been the hardest for me so far, everything up until now was a breeze

[Satori]

Originally Posted by mamalisa

I read your title and I immediately thought, "she must have a 4 year old" :LOL

It can take us a good hour to get out of the house some days. Can you do a race? I get all of ds's clothes out, and he has to be dressed by the time I shower, dry my hair, put on make up, get dressed, take the dog out and grab my purse It's amazing how long he can take!

Four years old has been the hardest for me so far, everything up until now was a breeze

You mean he will wear what you pick out? This is our #1 fight lately I think. dd's sense of style and mine are very different, she likes to find the brightest shirt she can then put on jeans (must be the pair she wore yesterday which means every 2-3 days she has a screaming fit because I hid them to wash) then tucks in the shirt into the pants as tight as she can and it looks silly (she will even tuck in sweat shirts) and then if she can manage it fast enough she will then put on a short sleeved dress or shortalls on over everything.

[SagMom]

Originally Posted by Satori

It just took 45 minutes to get clothes on and make a 1 min trip to the mail box and throw in 1 load of laundry and the laundry room is 15 foot from my door! If dd had not been home the whole thing would have been done in 4 minutes flat.

EVERYTHING takes longer when it's not just you. I think it's just a fact of life when you're a mother, and you can keep trying to fight it, or just accept it. I've been cleaning the kitchen today, and was just thinking about how I used to be able to clean our entire apartment in one hour--and it STAYED clean! I used to go foodshopping in under an hour--including travel time and putting everything away. HA!

I have found though, that happy kids let you get things done quicker and easier than unhappy ones. As an example...maybe going back up those stairs for the doll, and strapping her in would have made dd happy and therefore made YOUR life easier. Sometimes those things make life easier in the long run.

I really had to slow my life down with little ones around--some things that make me like having to wear a certain shirt or fixing a cuff just-so, are really important to them. Our lives are easier when I just roll with it when I can. And when I think that, in the not-so-distant-future, they'll be grown, and I can clean the place in an hour again, it somehow doesn't seem so important anymore.

[trinity6232000]

Clothing choices was the #1 fight between I and my 4 yo dd. Last fall I bought her a small dresser with 3 drawers. I went the my word processing program on my computer, and found clippings. I printed out one that said shirts with a picture of a shirt, pants, then outfits. Dd likes to wear dresses alot too so I put in a bar in the closet below where she could reach. On the above bar that she can't reach is all the clothing that is nice, that is saved for special events or church(things that before she would insist on wearing everyday). On the below bar I put a bunch of dresses that I bought on Ebay that I don't mind if they get stained or dirty.
Since I did this, dd has been getting out of our bed before me, THEN she comes over and wakes me SO PROUD that she dressed herself. Some days the pants and shirts she chooses don't match, or she is wearing pants and a dress at the same time. But I don't care cause I didn't just spend the last hour saying "do you want to wear this, or that, what about this, well, you could wear this, wait just pick between the two, okay you want something else, well.....".

We still have drama everyday. My dd is a spirited one. But this one battle is one that started the day out already stressed, without it the rest of the day feels much better, even with the drama.

[mamalisa]

Yes, he wears whatever I pick. He's always been very concious of "does this match me?" since he was small. He picks out all of his own clothes at the store so it's easy to get him dressed, he loves all his stuff. He's totally into clothes, it's very funny.

[Carolinamidwife]

LOL!!!

Oh yeah, I remember that. Max was so s l o w when he was 4! It took two years to get him to speed up to half the speed I want him at. Everything takes forever, everything is a distraction, he constantly forgets what he was doing. Shoes take an hour. Sigh.

Sometimes I really miss... OK, all the time, I really miss being able to run in and run out of somewhere.

[sphinx]

Really. forget the clothing battle! let her look like a fool. My dd once went out wearing rainboots, pants, a mismatched dress tucked into the pants (think tire around belly) and her glitter bathing suit ON TOP of everything. I laughed until I cried. That'll cheer you up. I just know she's going to come home one day wearing a pair of pink high heels with tube socks.

[Wilhemina]

BTDT, too! When I stop to take a breath, I realize the answer:

Why does everything have to be a production

1. God/the Universe wants me to slow down and understand a new pace of life.

2. So that my dds can meet the (sometimes big and scary) world on their own terms and be assured that at least one grown-up who seemingly navigates these waters with ease will REALLY take the time to listen and help when they need it.

3. So that when I can run and do by myself I can truly appreciate it and find joy in tasks that used to be drugery (like the excitement of hitting the grocery story, pharmacy, natural foods store, dry cleaner, and bank in under 90 min.)

Hope that doesn't sound preachy, because I completely understand your frustration!

[BowNessMonster]

I am sooooooo there with you!!! DD will be 5 in June, and everything t a k e s a n e t e r n i t y to accomplish!!! And she blows huge hissy fits when i try to put any pressure on her. One day she took an entire 5 minutes to get on her stool and grab the toothpaste. I said to her "Sweetie, why do you have to dawdle? I wish you could try to do things more efficiently" and she comes back with "Well, mama, that wish isn't going to come true. Try wishing on a wishing star"

:LOL cheeky monkey

I am trying to slow down and be more patient, but when we have an entire hour and a half to eat, wash/brush up and get dressed in the morning and I have to say "time to brush your teeth" or "get dressed please" or JUST EAT FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!" twenty times or more, and we're STILL running late, it makes me edgy.

Maybe I need to mellow out and just play more, man

[mamalisa]

"Sweetie, why do you have to dawdle? I wish you could try to do things more efficiently" and she comes back with "Well, mama, that wish isn't going to come true. Try wishing on a wishing star"
[/QUOTE]


Oh my goodness : : That is hysterical! I've been told to "keep my pants on" but that takes the cake!

[oldcrunchymom]

When my kids were tiny (both under 5), I used to ambush them without warning about 5-10 minutes before we went out. It happened so fast they had no time to complain. Then after they were dressed by the Mommy Whirlwind I'd generously announce that we were leaving in 5 minutes and they could play until then.

I guess I am impatient. :LOL