I think I am traumatized.

[MyBabiesCome1st]

My SIL had her baby early Monday morning and I had the pleasure of being with her through the labor and delivery. It was truly an awesome experience but I think I am traumatized by witnessing a hospital delivery.

(No offense to anyone who has had a hospital birth, formula fed, circumsized, routine testing, medicated birth, or anything else I refer to. This is just a mere vent of my experience).

She went overdue by one week and immediately the docs started talking induction. Well she held out for a few days then was talked into being induced last Thurs. So we go to the hospital for her 7 am scheduled induction and after being there all day, her receiving 3 gel treatments, we were sent home b/c the gel did nothing. She was rescheduled for Monday. Well Easter Sunday her water broke and off to LDR we go.

The hospital has some stupid 2 person limit for the LDR unit although the rooms are plenty big. They didn't kick us out or anything when we went over the limit but they were a little snotty to us at first. My SIL wanted my bro, me, and her mom with her. After they saw what support we were they chilled out and allowed us to be with her.

Well her goal was to do this unmedicated and by the time she got to 4 cm the hospital talked her into getting Stadol. Something about the length of time it took her to get there, she would be all night getting to 10 because her body could not relax. Yada yada yada. (Isn't getting to 4/5 cm the long part anyways?) Well once she hit 5/6 cm they immediately started pushing the epidural. Me and my brother kept telling her she could do it without the epi. but her mom couldn't stand to see her baby in pain and pushed for the epi. The epi won.

There is so much that went on that was horrible for me. But I pushed it to the back of my mind and supported her the best I could. (I was asked if I was a doula/nurse/etc. b/c everyone said how great I did - and it was my first birth to witness. Guess I had great role modles of support with my kids). But the thing that got me was after the baby was born they PULLED her placenta out. A resident delivered her baby and his supervising doc actually said to him "that's when you know you pulled too hard". The cord was stretched so thin....oh terrible!

Then if you want you can read my problems with the hospital and BFing here

I could go on and on about the horrible things I witnessed but it could take all night. The birth really was awesome. I just wasn't prepared for everything that happened. I think it really affirmed to me that I am going to pursue midwifery. (Oh on that note, I said to a nurse there that is what I was wanting to get into and she said "there is no market for that here". And I said well I want to at least make the option available. UGH!)

Well, I just wanted to vent to some mamas that would understand.

[candiland]

Yeah, it can be traumatic, huh?

I did two births with a supposed "midwife" in a local hospital. My first client (I'm a doula) arrived at the hospital pushing. S put her in stirrups despite protests and a signed birth plan - claiming she was only going to "check her" - and kept her there throughout the pushing phase.

As the babe crowned, S claimed that the baby's heartrate was dropping (which is totally normal, btw) and that she HAD to cut an episiotomy. Well, she cut the episiotomy and it ripped into my client's anus as the baby emerged.

I immediately reminded them that mom wanted skin to skin contact with baby. "Oh, we always do that, no problem", they said. They put babe on mom's chest for a total of FIVE SECONDS then whisked the baby away.

My second client was promised by her ob. that she didn't need a heplock or bloodwork when she entered the ward in labor. Well, S was on call for my client's ob. that day. She marched in, demanding, "Nurse B tells me you are refusing the heplock. If you have an emergency, you and your baby could DIE! We'd have to plunge a needle into your jugular if we couldn't find a vein..." in a loud, obnoxious voice. My client accepted the interventions.

[mamabutterfly]

Ugh!

[JanetF]

I hear you. I have a doula friend who was really shocked at the first hospital birth she attended. It's a whole other mindset!
Hugs to you.

[leosmama20]

I am continually shocked at the hospital birth experiences I read on here. I delivered my first in a hospital and will be delivering my second there as well and I just flat out can't believe the stuff I read. Maybe it is regional or something?

[mightymoo]

Ugh, that's terrible! I'm curious - did she make her wishes to go unmedicated and not be offered drugs known to the hospital staff when she got there?

I was late (2.5 weeks) and had a hospital induction because I came down with a fever - I reached a point where my uterus clamped down and had this neverending contraction that felt like someone was sawing my hip off - totally not natural! I had my husband and doula both there telling me I could do it and I managed to survive through that for 45 minutes before giving in to an epi. They told me later it had been about 45 minutes - it didn't seem nearly that long to me and I think their support was a big part of it. I couldn't imagine trying to fight the pressure of the nurses and my support people telling me to give in, I wouldn't have made it 5 minutes. (In the end I don't regret giving in since I never made more than a centimeter's progress in 24 hours of labor and so I would have spent hours in unnatural horrible pain just to end up with a c-section anyway) However, it showed me how important good support is - if I had experienced hard but normal labor pain I think having them tell me I could do it and reminding me of what I wanted really would have made the difference. I think most women probably doubt whether they can make it any further or all the way through at some point during labor - if you have the devil in your ear who can resist that?

Makes me think maybe I should go with one of those signs on the door saying please don't offer me drugs, etc.

Sorry to hear your first birth witnessed was so traumatic!

[twindaze]

I had a hospital birth with my youngest a year ago. It was a VBAC attempt. The staff was awesome, they didn't do internals, I agreed to a hep loc since I was VBAC, so that wasn't an issue, but I doubt they'd have bothered me otherwise. I ate and drank as much as I wanted to.

Unfortunately it was a labor from he** and ended in an emergency c-section where I was almost put under a general (luckily I avoided that.) But none of that was the hospital's fault. It was the best hospital in the area, a baby friendly one even. So they do vary.

[JanetF]

leosmama it's international

[Rainbow]

Well her goal was to do this unmedicated and by the time she got to 4 cm the hospital talked her into getting Stadol. Something about the length of time it took her to get there, she would be all night getting to 10 because her body could not relax. Yada yada yada. (Isn't getting to 4/5 cm the long part anyways?) Well once she hit 5/6 cm they immediately started pushing the epidural.

This is the exact thing they said to me with my first. Talk about discouraging! "If you don't take something you will NEVER be able to push after so many long hours of labor!" WOW- I bet that helps with the moms moral! My labor was 5.5 hours- and they kept pushing and pushing for pain meds because "I could never make it to pushing after such a long labor" They told me I'd be there until at LEAST midnight before I got to push, and I had her at 1:40PM

Afterwards the nurse says "Oh sorry about that, I hadn't read your birth plan" Which specifically said I'd ask for drugs if I wanted them, not to offer. OH- thanks... glad to know what I spent weeks writing up was taken so seriously by you.

For hosptial births, mine were good- but I'm very excited for my upcoming homebirth

[hubris]

I'm sorry it was such a negative experience for you. I do want to reassure you that it doesn't have to be that way. There really ARE physicians, nurses, hospitals that are capable of supporting a wonderful natural birth. It's just hard to know how to find them.

My own hospital birth with DS1 was *mostly* a very positive experience. I did end up legitimately needing some intervention, and the OB on call did not handle it gently or appropriately, IMHO, but other than that everything was wonderful. I stayed at home as long as I wished, without pressure from my midwife to come in earlier. At the hospital, I walked as I wished, labored in a darkened room as I wished. Nobody ever even suggested medication and I never got any negativity regarding natural birth from anybody. I chose the positions for my birth. There was no problem with breastfeeding support, I had plenty of geniune help/support. Circumcision wasn't even mentioned. DS stayed in my arms nearly every second. Nobody batted an eye about DH being with him for the hearing test, I never felt like they expected us to do anything differently.

I hope that your SIL's next birth is much nicer

[mommykof5]

The thing that scares me is when the rsident pulled on the cord to deliver the placenta. This is very routine as dr don not want to wait for it to be delived naturally. As someone who has had it done 5 times there are great risks. After the last birth the resisdent at my hospital pulled on the cord. I screamed stop your hurting me. For 7 months I walked around with my body thinking it was still pg because of retained placenta. I was tired, vomiting, ect. even developed an infection. The one thing anyone should INSIST on is NO CORD TRACTION! That's just mho.

[Rainbow]

They never pulled on the cord, but they totally pushed on my tummy to get it out. It hurt so bad! That is one thing I'm looking forward to about the homebirth- lettign the placenta come when it is ready and not forcing it out. OUCH! All so the Dr/midwife can go home. And both mine were born during "bankers hours"