Still Nursing?

[selazenby]

OK - I'm having some nursing trouble. My son (and very very enthusiastic nurser) is 16 months old. I am / was totally ready to nurse through pregnancy if he wanted to. But my nipples are soooo sore right now and he of course doesn't nurse calmly and sweetly like a new baby - he wiggles and twists and pulls and it hurts! I go back and forth between wanting to wean him and wanting him to keep nursing - depending on how sore I am and how many times the night before I had to wake up to nusre hium (I used to sleep through all nursings but now it hurts enough to keep me awake).

Help!

[Geofizz]

My daughter is still nursing, but she's older and has recently dropped down to only 3-4 times a day during the week (more on weekends).

I've had some luck so far setting pretty strict rules on nursing behavior. Every single time she nurses now, I remind her that mommy's nu-nus are really sore and she needs to open her mouth wide and lie still. We've had a couple incidents of less-than-gentle nursing, and : I really hope this doesn't get worse!

Oh, Claire! I know you've done it! Experience? Suggestions?

[IncaMama]

i'm still nursing our DS (just turned 2 last week) and i don't see it stopping any time soon. we're at about 4 times a day, sometimes less, and once overnight (if at all). luckily, my boobs don't hurt yet though i assume they will start to soon enough.

[dandelions2]

I nursed dd throughout my pregnancy with ds and then tandem nursed for a little over a year. Now that I'm preg again, ds is still nursing (he's 18 months). I didn't get that "oh, god, quit nursing right now or I will scream" feeling till I was three months along. Nursing really was difficult, but my dd was 11 months when I got preg and just too young to wean or to understand what was going on. So I would just dig my fingernails into the couch when she nursed and I tried to distract her a lot. Once my milk disappeared, she automatically quit nursing as often and starting eating solids more often. She only nursed to nap and to sleep at night. At night, I would let her nurse for a couple minutes, then tell her she was all done and she would just unlatch and go to sleep, or dh would read to her till she fell asleep (she slept between us). She is such a mellow kid - much different than ds. I'm sure he's gonna flip and throw a tantrum when we reach that point, but I know that nursing is important to him, so unless he decides to wean on his own, I'll just take it one nursing at a time and try to be patient. That icky feeling does go away during the 2nd trimester. ((hugs))

[oliversmum2000]

i nursed ds 1 all the way through my pregnancy with ds 2 and now ds 2 is nursing through my pregnancy with dc 3.

i found the first 3 months the worst with my first pregnancy and i found it really tested me sticking with it but i did notice a big improvement after 3 months.

however with this pregnancy i am not feeling any discomfort when nursing at all - strange how different they can all be.

[Spark]

My Number one suggestion... don't go another day without reading this book...
Adventures In Tandem Nursing If you want to support a good cause while buying it, you can get it at La Leche League Just type in Tandem Nursing in the search box at the bottom.

This book is so great for explaining the challenges and solutions for nursing during pregnancy. I believe it paints a very fair and well balanced view of tandem nursing, so that you can explore if that's really what you want to do. It gives biological facts and stats. Just really well written. It's as complete of a picture of nursing during pregnancy and tandem nursing as I've ever come across.

That said, if your older baby is less than 6 months, you'll find the book really lacking for your specific situation.
______________________________________

Ok, now that my general rec is over... I'm just THAT passionate about having this book in your home library, or checking it out from your local library IF they have it.

Painful nursing during the first trimester is pretty common. In fact, according to AITN 74% of pregnant nursing moms report painful nursing. The thing is that it usually lets up. The first 8 weeks are often reported as the "worst" then with a bit of pain near the end if the milk has dried up. But, thsi varies for every woman. There are MANY techniques to greatly reduce the pain that you do feel.

For me personally, it's important to teach my older baby nursing ettiquite if you will. Before getting pregnant again, I don't usually have rules about nursing. Once that first trimester sensitivity sets in, I really lay down the law... because I'm motivated!

Ahh, the planets must have just aligned. I see an opportunity for a nap. I'll come back, just gotta grab that nap while I can!

[Geofizz]

I've heard great things about Adventures in Tandem Nursing. I'm going to try to go to the toddler/tandem nursing LLL group next week.

I seem to be past the first phase of sore nipples. It was mostly on the left side, though, and it really felt the same as it did right after Karen was born and I was dealing with flat nipples, where the left was significantly worse than the right. I wonder if there is a connection?

Having the nipple soreness disappear isn't a bad sign, is it?

[IncaMama]

my nipple soreness has just started...on the right side only so far...i'm hoping it doesn't get too bad. i still don't know if i want to tandem nurse. i don't really know why i WOULDN'T but somehow there's still a nagging thought back there that maybe i want him to be done. i don't know. i'm gonna get that book, though!!

Wendy - it's probably just that you've got really strong and resilient nipples! i can't remember, what other sxs are you having?

[Geofizz]

LOL. I posted that my nipple soreness was gone, DD came over and nursed and yowzah! It's back.

At this point I'm very mildly queasy, but that's about it. I'm even doing alright with poopy diapers. Oh yeah, and I last had a cup of coffee last Thursday.

With DD I only puked once, and that was at 6 weeks, and only because I was being polite about waiting for everyone to be at my parents house before eating Christmas breakfast.

[Spark]

Originally Posted by michelemiller

my nipple soreness has just started...on the right side only so far...i'm hoping it doesn't get too bad. i still don't know if i want to tandem nurse. i don't really know why i WOULDN'T but somehow there's still a nagging thought back there that maybe i want him to be done. i don't know. i'm gonna get that book, though!!

You know, Michele, I think if anything it's a trip through whether or not you'll want to tandem nurse. Really it's quite up to you. I do think that earlier weaning during the pregnancy is probably better than last trimester weaning. It's just rough, because you don't want your older one to be jealous of the younger one for THAT reason as well and the others. We're here to support you in whatever you choose to do.

I can say that I've LOVED tandem nursing. And, even nursing during pregnancy was a practice for what it was going to be like with two kids. With just one child, I had a lot less rules. We just went with the flow and we could, there was only one child and two parents! Then, pregnant and nursing, my own needs required me to put restrictions on nursing and some other behaviors. Then, the new baby came and my toddler was used to limits and restrictions. It was really a good stepping stone for us. If you will. I know that might be a hard connection to make.

Why I loved tandem nursing:
1. When my son first came upstairs after his sister was born, he saw her nursing. He said, "Hello, Baby. Hellow, Baby." And, then instantly went to my other side to nurse. The ENTIRE time that he nursed, he petted her so gently. Her head, her still wet warm body, he stroked her hand, he held her hand. That was one of the BEST memories of my life.
2. When Jude wanted to rough house and Cicely wanted to nurse, Jude would slow down to nurse and then go about his business. He never rough housed around us. He'd only cuddle and nurse.
3. Because I could get more rest.
4. To see Jude's reaction when my milk came in... Laughing with his mouth full of milk he said, "Baby give me milk!!!"
5. So many other reasons, I'm just not remembering at this moment.

Wendy, I think nipple soreness seems to come and go for me. I must confess, I always seem to do the, "Is the baby ok!?!?" panics every now and then. It's hard when you just don't feel pregnant.... this from a woman wearing maternity clothes right now. We just get to hold on and trust. It's what all the women before us have done and what all the women after us will do. So, give yourself a good tweak and see if it hurts!

[selazenby]

Ok - I keep reading about nursing etiquette and setting good boundaries, etc. And I'm trying, but Jake is only 16 months and he's not easily reasoned with. When my sister was pregnant with #2 her daughter was 3 so she was able to be reasoned with (and bribed Example, my sister told her that she could no longer nurse in the night because thats when the baby grew and he needed the milk then - little white lie but worked like a charm. But Jake is far from that kind of conversation so I'm looking for suggestions on teaching "nice nursing" to a 16 month old. I sometimes do tell him "no, that hurts mommy" and set him down - which makes him furious - and I've started limiting the nursing somewhat in some situations.

I don't know if I'll tandem nurse or not - I'm open to it but I'm not making any "definitely or definitely not" proclomations. We'll just see how it goes.

[Spark]

Ooh, Erin, yes, I see how different it is with littler ones. My son Jude was 18 mos when I became pregnant with Cicely. He would have never gotten the reasoning either.

Now, Cicely is 12 mos. No way would she get reasoning.

What I did with Jude was just a variety of techniques. I must say, I really had it pretty easy nursing him through pregnancy (he's since weaned FYI). My milk never fully went away and that really keeps "empty breast" pain away.

What I did do was 1. stop nursing and have him relatch if need be. Sometimes he just wouldn't open wide enough. I would try to 2. lay down to nurse him more because he was less active then. 3. I'd limit the amount of nursing in weird positions. 4. Like you're doing, I'd communicate in a way that he understood. He got simple phrases like, "OW! Gentle. Mama's Side OW. Gentle, Jude." Too many words and it was lost on him. 5. Like we all try to do, just pay attention to your needs and his needs. You know your son best.

As he got closer to two, he really enjoyed counting. So, we'd have "side" (what he called nursing) "for five". Meaning, we'd nursing until something was beginning to pain me, and I'd count to five. When we got to five, it was time to unlatch and do something else.

I think your plan to keep open to both weaning and tandem nursing is a very healthy outlook. It's really hard to know how your body is going to react to nursing and pregnancy. Some women are fine pain-wise, but then get strong emotions. Some women report that they want to push their child off of them. It's just a strong biological reflex. Kind of nature's way of making sure there's enough nutrition for the new baby. You just never know what is going to happen to your body. Just like anything in parenthood, it seems like it's so much about meeting your own needs so you can meet your child's needs.