What will you do differently?

[Geofizz]

If this isn't your first child, what will you do differently for this pregnancy and birth? What do you want to keep the same?

For me, the major thing that will be different is that we're seriously considering a homebirth. I'm not doing this because of anything awful that happened in the hospital with dd, but several small reasons, the most profound being that I never, ever want to ride in a car again while in labor. I also hope not to tear this time. I'm pretty sure the only reason I tore last time is that I held off pushing until we were at the hospital. Had I allowed myself to start pushing when my body wanted to, I would have started earlier, and dd would have come more slowly.

Do the same? I'd like work had to stay in good shape through this pregnancy. I was walking 5 miles a day for the second half of my pregnancy (first half I was biking 5 miles a day and running about 15 miles a week). I credit my aerobic endurance for making my birth relatively easy. I also read every book I could get my hands on about pregnancy and birth. Certain of those books don't need to be re-read (the worst was What To Eat When You're Expecting -- yes, worse that WTExpectWYE), but I have several I want to reread.

[IncaMama]

Different: I'd like to eat better than I did the last time (omg i ate CRAP while preggo with DS). I'd like to exercise more, but that is all dependent on the biggest thing that I'd LOVE to be different this time around - the CROTCH PAIN! I had a separated pubis symphysis the first time around that started at about 3mo and didn't resolve itself until 6mos post partum. it made it almost impossible for me to walk, it was so painful. sooo i'd like to not have THAT again...but it's not in my control, unfortunately, and all evidence suggests that it will happen again. I'd also like to have a midwife instead of an ob/gyn and will probably deliver in a birth center instead of a hospital.

SAME: hm...that doesn't leave much, does it? i guess...everything else. whatever that is. LOL

[Geofizz]

:

Have you tried a pool maybe?

[kofduke]

The same: I will definately hire my doula again, if she's still doula-ing, or find another if she is not. I fully believe that having someone with me saved me from a c-section.

Different: well, I'm not sure. With DS's birth, when my water broke (w/out contractions), my blood pressure shot up tremendously, and I was spilling proteins in my urine. So, they started mag. sulfate, so I couldn't get out of bed to walk around and get contrax. started, so after a few hours they started pit. After 14 hrs. of pit, I got an epidural because I was so exhausted I didn't think I could continue. But, I don't really know how to make this any different, KWIM? I'm pretty sure I would've been transferred, and the outcome would've been the same. My g-ma and mom both had the same exact blood pressure problem when their water broke with their first birth; I'm an only but my g-ma did not have it again when her second babe was born. I desparately don't want it to happen again, but don't really know what I can do to prevent it.

[dandelions2]

I'm gonna homebirth this time. I wanted to last time because of my experience at the hospital the first time, but dh wasn't comfy with it. Last time the birth wasn't bad cause the dr didn't make it (he was my only fear that pregnancy - hated that man!) but afterwards it was horrible. I was told there was something wrong with ds's heart, they took him and put him in NICU - ran so many tests - he barely got to nurse and was too tired to nurse whenever they let me have him. Turns out there was nothing wrong with his heart after all, but by the time they figured that out, he was jaundiced, so they readmitted him for that and said I wasn't allowed to pick him up or nurse him. By that point I was so sick of their bullsh*t, that dh said we were all leaving - then they changed their tune and said I could nurse him as much as I wanted. And what do you know? His bilirubin levels dropped down to normal levels within 6 hours! I hate that friggin' hospital and won't be going back.

I also want to gain a "normal" amount of weight this time. With dd I gained 50 pounds and with ds I gained 66. Granted, I'm a super small momma and it all came off within a few months, but I feel so unhealthy when I weigh that much and it just doesn't look good when your butt is bigger than your preggo belly. lol So I'm trying to really only eat when hungry and only eat healthy things and I'm gonna exercise more. Watch, I'll probably still gain 10 pounds in the next month anyways. lol

[Minnow_]

I can't do anything differently, since this one is my first. But Wendy, you mentioned books that you're planning to read - what books did you really like? I went to Borders last night but there were so many that I felt overwhelmed and ended up not getting anything.

[kofduke]

Minnow - I'd recommend Penny Simkin's Pregnancy, Childbirth and the Newborn. I'm currently reading it. I think it does a good job discussing different options while focusing on natural birth and preparations for it. I'd stay away from the "what to expect" series!

[Minnow_]

Kristin, thanks. I was already steering clear of what to expect. I thumbed through another book and it was really anti-homebirth, so I put it back, then decided to get some recommendations before buying anything.

[Geofizz]

Re Books: I understand about being overwhelmed about the choices. My approach was to check out every book at the library about pregnancy. When I was done with pregnancy, I read all the books on birth and breastfeeding, etc. By my third month I was reading parenting books. LOL

I felt more strongly about the childbirth books than I did about the pregnancy books. The best pregnancy book I found was the Mao clinic book. I would actually recommend flipping through the WTE book because it can tell you what to expect from your care giver, particularly if you are seeing a "mainstream" doc. I'm not saying that is what you should do, or the advice you should follow, I'm saying that it will tell you how the process will go in terms of what tests they'll want to do and when. Use that as a guide on researching your options elsewhere.

For childbirth, I liked "Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth", "Birthing from Within", and "A Good Birth, A Safe Birth." I've recently added Sit up and take Notice, which hopefully can help me with my sacro-iliac joint issues.

** disclaimer. I'm very good friends with Henci Goer's son, which is the reason I knew about Thinking Woman's Guide in the first place. It's an excellent book, and I highly recommend it, particularly to data geeks like myself.

[dziejen]

First, I am also trying to keep my weight gain to a more normal range -- with each of my dd's I gained 50lbs. I am going to resume exercising and take walks and hopefully since I am pregant in the nicer weather this will be easier this time around. Also, I am not giving birth with my doctor for a variety of reasons. I am looking into midwives nearby but I am comfortable in either the hospital or a birth center. I plan on educating myself alot more about the actual birth and labor process and also do not want labor to be induced this time unless medically necessary. That's all I can think of now but I am sure there will be more

[Spark]

Different:
1. I never want to get freaked out about this pregnancy being twins. (It always seems to happen, either with 12 weeks larger for dates or extra head in U/S or a bunch of other things)
2. I'm exploring my options. I want to have a homebirth like I have with my others, I just want to know what all is out there.
3. I want the pushing phase of this labor to be smooth and easy, totally in sync with nature and rhythm.

[StarCat]

I want to use my same doula and hypnosis and the same midwifes and I hope I progress quickly and go a week early like last time (although I have limited control of that)...but this time I would like to be more "in control" during labor, start my hypnosis and relaxation BEFORE I am out of my mind uncomfortable! and I want to actually have the baby at the birth center and not get transferred to the hospital. The only reason was because I couldn't push her out due to her position so I should be able to this time since dd paved the way.

I DON'T want to gain 70 lbs like I did the last time but I am worried because i am still 25lbs heavier than when I got pregnant the 1st time...Josie is only 9 months now....I can't stand to have that much weight on me again, I guess thats a general concern on here....maybe we can keep each other on track!

I also am determined not to let the doctors and nurses at work scare me out of having my perfect birth by telling me horror stories of all the things that can go wrong! I know these things and I know they cause most of them with their interventions!!! (oops bad L&D nurse I shouldn't say things like that...well....I guess I can here, huh!)

[juliasmum]

I eat so much healthier now than when I was pg with my first. I stopped every day and got breakfast at McDonald's with a Dr. Pepper on my way to work when I was pregnant with her. I feel really lucky that she turned out to be such a healthy eater.

I really want a natural birth this time. I was induced a week early due to pre-eclampsia, so I ended up getting an epidural because the pitocin contractions were so bad. I would love to not have an IV this time. I'm going to use a doula and really want to try hypnobirthing.

[Satori]

I'm going to eat way better this time, I ate so much junk food last time its embarrising! I wish I could alter my pregnancy care but thats not an option but with luck everything will be fine and i'll get to transfer to a midwife for delivery (vbac).

[Alvenchrst]

wow, I have a TON I'm going to do differently.
Exercise
gain 30 instead of 40 lb
Eat well, not pig out
Have a natural birth
Take Bradley classes
Hire a doula
Use a midwife
Not let myself be unneccissarily induced
Use Hypnobirth
Cosleep
Extended breastfeeding (only last 4 months last time)
Use a sling from the beginning and learn to breastfeed in it
Read tons of books
Don't use CIO
Basically be an AP parent
Not be critical of other people's parenting styles (having issues with that one already)
Go to LLL meetings

I'll still be using cloth diapers though, that's what got me into AP in the first place.

I think I get points for having come the furthest! Wish I knew about all this stuff when I was pregnant with DS. Count all yourselves lucky to have found MDC when you did!