Originally Posted by june'smom
Right now we are just trying to decide who to tell and who to hide like crazy from. OK, so the one we want to hide from are obvious, but really, did you all tell your whole family, or none or some.
Well we didn't tell any of our immediate family because, well, they think we're endangering our dd's life just because we don't vaccinate her. My family is worse than dp's, but everyone knows we're planning a homebirth. When asked if I had chosen a midwife, I told my parents (who live far away) "yep, we have everything set up and taken care of to be ready for the birth." A white lie, sure, but not untrue. This way we don't have to dodge too much. But I did tell my very supportive birth aunt, who also lives very far away, and she is totally cool with UC. In fact, before she knew we had really decided to go that route she suggested it to me! DP's family would just never unerstand the concept, and they aren't too interested in the details, anyway. Not too much stress there.
We also don't want anyone around immediately after - unless they're going to help. Last time we told my parents that if they came to visit us 3 days after dd's birth (like they really wanted to) that it was on the condition they help us with house stuff. They agreed, and proceeded to sit around, complain about the quality of the food DP and I cooked for them, started arguments with dp, told me that being overweight would cause serious health problems (3 days post partum!!), held my sleepy baby, and only once went out and bought take out for us. Never even washed the dishes. We learned the hard way that they can't come over for a while after the birth. I'm trying to convince my birth aunt to come up to visit, and play with dd after the birth, because she "gets it", we love her, and she loves dd. No other family would be useful, really, or welcome, for a while. And I *know* she would wash dishes... :LOL
quickening - I totally agree with your idea that confronting the medwives would be easier with jenniebug's dh to support her - especially since it was because of the demands of his command that they even hired midwives. Let him support you, jenniebug.
And mamajaza - cute!