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UC support thread #16 April 05 - Page 5

post #81 of 97
Congratulations Hotmama! I have to laugh about your sister asking you "How will you know what it is?" Our culture has been SOOO taken over by ultrasounds. Your response was good. I have been so tempted to say that to people who ask me–especially strangers, but haven't. To my delight, someone else actually chimed in with "She's having a BABY" the last time that happened.

I have to wonder what is wrong with people, especially strangers, who have a need to know what sex baby your are having. Exactly what do these people plan to do with the knowledge if you tell them? Decide whether your baby is worthy of keeping? Even people who are unable to buy a shower gift without knowing are kind of off if you ask me.

anyway, welcome to the list and I hope you fully enjoy your pregnancy.
post #82 of 97
Hey all -

Just checking in after a bit of an absence. I've been lurking in here, though, and wasting energy in other forums I should just stay out of... Sigh.

Pain? My first birth was not UC, but assisted with a DEM. Lots of pain. I had a few hours of contractions with a persistent cervical lip, and it was maddening at the time. Baby was born totally blue in the face, scaring the crap out of my midwife, but it was only severe facial bruising. Anyone know if that kind of bruising is the kind docs and midwives refer to a "typical of asynclitic" positioned babies? I'm so clueless. My midwife didn't know. The worst pain was when I tore badly, though. Definitely the only time I said "Ouch!". The rest was not the same as injury, just part of my birth process.

I'm currently about 28 weeks now, and seem to have moved into the next phase of my pregnancy. My food intuitions are changing and I'm not quite sure about what they are yet. Today I've felt kind of separated from my body, partly because of the deeper changes with this baby and partly because the weather is just sooooo crappy today! Snow and temps in the 30s and low 40s; cloudy and windy. Brrr! Not what I want right now. I want to be out planting in our small city garden, digging up soil with my 3 year old.

I'm currently torn about what to do about a couple of things, and anyone's feedback would be great. We've had a friend offer to help pay for/rent a tub for a water birth should I want one. I've never had one, and am considering it this time. Baby #2 was a stuck the shoulders at birth and I really enjoyed warm water with dd's labor, but we didn't have a birth tub. But this time we'll have no one around to help us clean up and fill the tub, if we choose to go that route. How much trouble is it, really, to fill and empty and then clean up a tub after a water birth? I know I won't want to do any of that, and I might want to spend that time with DP instead of worrying about extended clean up. Arghh.

And we still haven't found a solution for my lack of a "registered birth attendant" to come to the house and do the heel stick for the babe and fill out the necessary paperwork (within 5 days) for our birth certificate (5 day limit after birth here in WI) after this one's earthside. And I really don't want to go to the clinic/hospital (both in the same building) with a newborn unless it's medically necessary. Just venting, I suppose, but our insurance doesn't cover in-home visits (an HMO paid by Medicaid). But we may have to, just because.

Enough venting. Glad there's still some of us around. It feels awfully quiet round here lately... Must be all those babymoons!
post #83 of 97
Quote:
Originally Posted by hottmama
My sister said "How are you going to know what it is if you don't get an ultrasound?" and also, "How are you going to know when you're due?" I said, it's going to be a baby and I know exactly when I ovulated. I can count to 38 on a calendar.
: OMG! That's so funny!!!

I'm 8 weeks now. I'm just morning sick and tired. That's all. Not posting very much, but I will when I'm feeling better. 1st trimester always seems to be the roughest for me. Looking forward to a full baby belly and cute maternity clothes!!!

So, I haven't contacted the lay-MW I used for my other births. Sometimes I think I will, because my husband feels most comfortable with that. Sometimes I think I'll just wait longer. Either way, I haven;t done anything yet. I'm tempted to actually call around (TONS of lay-MW in my area) and just ask to see who is UC friendly. Maybe no one is. I know the MW we used has supported other UC births... AND I know that when I talked to her about it UC last time she laughed... SHE LAUGHED at me. ARG!!!

Hmmm... what to do. What to do!

Brandi -- I LOVE hearing about you being so active and happy! Mmm! How exciting! I'm just overjoyed for you!
post #84 of 97
** checking in **

Skim ~ is the heel-prick necessary (that is, required by law) and if so, can you get an exemption? if not, do you *want* to have it done?

here in california we were told it HAD to be done, and we didn't do it, and we didn't *want* to do it, so all we had to do was sign a waiver saying that we were making an informed refusal.

also, depending on what size you are, you might be able to just utilize the warm water in your bathtub/shower to help with pain... i also would have *loved* a waterbirth tub but just lazing around in my bathtub worked well for us ~ especially considering the logistics involved in trying to set up / fill / empty / take down a waterbirthing pool in a tiny little second-story apartment ~ :LOL

cresorchid: hang in there! s i remember with Elyssa, my endometriosis went nuts and FINALLY around 6-7 months stopped hurting, and i really enjoyed my final trimester... try to enjoy this time with your precious little one inside you. i found what really "worked" for me was focusing on my new goddess shape and the sensuality of pregnancy! i LOVED my pregnant yoni, my larger, rounder, softer breasts, and my full, round, fertile belly ~ these are such fabulous things! i made up excuses to lay in the bath just so i could get in touch (pun intended ) with my new shape, and tune in to my growing baby's vibes...

i'm so thrilled at the new "faces" i'm seeing here...

~ peace to all you mamas ~ gentle pregnancy and birthing vibes to all ~
post #85 of 97
I'm hanging in. I am beginning to feel those 3rd trimester blues–backache, an ache on the inner right side where my leg joins my torso (can't describe it any better than that). I think the relaxin is really kicking in. Every time I sneeze due to allergies, my ribs feel like they have been bruised. Ugh.

But I love my shape. I look at myself in the mirror every chance I get. I was reading about the Willendorf goddess yesterday and picturing myself as her. I even went out and bought a skimpy bikini to wear in the hot weather to the pool so I don't just DIE of the heat this summer. My breasts have at least doubled in size and my belly is big and round and firm.

Over the past week or so I have finally been able to regularly see the baby move from the outside. So while I'm giving my body a rest in bed, I uncover my belly and just watch it undulate and bounce and whatever else my little one inside likes to do to it.

I have to laugh though. I got rid of my midwife and asked a friend who is a doula to attend me so that if someone needed to call for help at any point, I wouldn't have to do it myself. The farther along I get, the less I want her there. I am really getting into being empowered to do this by myself. I am wondering whether when the time comes I will call her when I know it is too late–the way people do when for some reason they are forced to use a midwife. I am also rethinking the idea of using the birth tub/pool that a friend has agreed to loan me. I like the idea of a water birth, but it sounds like a pain in the butt to have to set up, fill, clean, etc. I'm really not sure that I will have the time to do that if my labor goes even moderately quickly. I am thinking of just using the bathtub because I know it will fill in about 10 minutes and cover me most of the way.

Hope everybody is doing well. Those of you who are near your due dates, do check in. We are definitely keeping you in our thoughts!
post #86 of 97
Hi ladies! All you pregnant mamas sound wonderful!
Cresor -- watching my baby dance in my belly was one of my very favorite parts of pregnancy.

Skim and Cresor, I liked the idea of a waterbirth, too, but the practicalities of it seemed too stressful. I didn't want to worry about all the set-up and clean-up, having the proper hoses, proper water temp, and getting everything together in time. So I decided to just keep it simple with a "land-birth" and it was wonderful. I learned that the simpler I kept everything, the more relaxed I was. Just my experience.

Arora, I'd keep delaying calling anyone if you're still not sure. I often think "when in doubt, don't." If you're enjoying your pregnancy now -- experiencing just you and your baby -- no need to give the magic away.
post #87 of 97
And Congrats to Hotmama!!! Welcome!
post #88 of 97
You see, I'm in the other camp. I will not birth unless I have a pool to birth in. It is so freakin' wonderful!!! Laboring on land, is just not cool, for me that is

And my 1st birth was incredibly painful, 60hrs of active back labor (nuchal hand). It was a hospital birth attended by a medwife. This birth was absolutely glorious, wicked intense at times, but not at all painful. I remember one moment in transition that I've been thinking about lately, I was saying, "I can't do this, I can't do this", and then I said, "I AM doing this" and I let out a mighty moan and opened up more. It was glorious and so empowering

Amy
post #89 of 97
Quote:
Originally Posted by klothos
Skim ~ is the heel-prick necessary (that is, required by law) and if so, can you get an exemption? if not, do you *want* to have it done?

here in california we were told it HAD to be done, and we didn't do it, and we didn't *want* to do it, so all we had to do was sign a waiver saying that we were making an informed refusal.

also, depending on what size you are, you might be able to just utilize the warm water in your bathtub/shower to help with pain... i also would have *loved* a waterbirth tub but just lazing around in my bathtub worked well for us ~ especially considering the logistics involved in trying to set up / fill / empty / take down a waterbirthing pool in a tiny little second-story apartment ~ :LOL
Thanks for your suggestions and thoughts. Well, I think WI is the same as CA - in that the state says it's required but we could probably file an exemption, like we have with dd's vaccines. Thing is, I'm not sure I want to do that. I do know that I think sticking the heel of a newborn is torture. Words cannot describe how much I hate that! I almost passed out with dd when I took her in at one week to get hers done. Still researching. If we decide we aren't concerned about the diseases/conditions tested for in the tests then obviously we won't get it done. But... if either of us is immovably concerned about even one of the many tests done, then we're back where we started. Also, if the test can be performed later without the same kind of trauma to a newborn, we might decide to do that, too.
Finally, we are slightly paranoid about CPS. We are sooo deep into public assistance these days; my experience and those of others here on MDC is that it is too easy for concerned docs or others to hear that we refused something that could *gasp* save my baby's life that they call us in for neglect without a thought, leaving us to struggle with the consequences. We want to look like we are complying as much as our ethics permit. But maybe we'll just gain confidence anyway.

Heel stick aside, I still need to find someone to attest that the baby is mine within 5 days of birth. And this person must be a registered birth attendant. Sigh....

I'm ambivalent, also, about the tub. I'm not small - about 200 pounds now - but I used a very small tub in my early labor with dd and I wondered what a nice big tub would be like. But it seems like overkill, personally, for a UC without anyone else around. I'm thinking that it's not the kind of help I need, and will suggest another kind of help. Like if I can find a midwife to come to my house for a large sum of money, maybe they can help foot the bill. Hmmm....
post #90 of 97
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skim
I'm currently torn about what to do about a couple of things, and anyone's feedback would be great. We've had a friend offer to help pay for/rent a tub for a water birth should I want one. I've never had one, and am considering it this time. Baby #2 was a stuck the shoulders at birth and I really enjoyed warm water with dd's labor, but we didn't have a birth tub. But this time we'll have no one around to help us clean up and fill the tub, if we choose to go that route. How much trouble is it, really, to fill and empty and then clean up a tub after a water birth? I know I won't want to do any of that, and I might want to spend that time with DP instead of worrying about extended clean up. Arghh.
Have you considered one of the blow up summer pools? I hear SO many great things about them and they're pretty inexpensive. I've seen links posted on them in the homebirth forum many times before. They're MUCH less expensive than the rented ones and work really well according to many people. Let me see if I can dig them up for you.
Here you go (two styles recommended just dif places to get them):
http://birthwithsol.com/largebirthpool.html
http://www.birthwithsol.com/birthpool.html
http://www.qualityinflatables.com/58480.html
http://birthwithlove.com/categories/...arian+Birthing

Quote:
Originally Posted by Skim
And we still haven't found a solution for my lack of a "registered birth attendant" to come to the house and do the heel stick for the babe and fill out the necessary paperwork (within 5 days) for our birth certificate (5 day limit after birth here in WI) after this one's earthside. And I really don't want to go to the clinic/hospital (both in the same building) with a newborn unless it's medically necessary. Just venting, I suppose, but our insurance doesn't cover in-home visits (an HMO paid by Medicaid). But we may have to, just because.
I totally agree with the other posters here. It is required but you don't have to do it. You can sign a waiver or in my case in Michigan. They've NEVER asked for proof. I just get the birth certificate and they never ask.
The other thing is, there may be a homebirth friendly Ped or perhaps a UC friendly MW in your area. There are a couple here that I know of here. They'll come and do a visit to do all the testing. I haven't done that but friends of mine have and really was glad that was an option.
post #91 of 97
Quote:
Originally Posted by KateSt.
Arora, I'd keep delaying calling anyone if you're still not sure. I often think "when in doubt, don't." If you're enjoying your pregnancy now -- experiencing just you and your baby -- no need to give the magic away.
Thanks, Kate! Always nice to have your gut feeling reiterated! The thing is, I'm not feeling really connected to this baby yet. I think it's probably the morning sickness and fatigue. As I recall, I really haven't ever enjoyed the first trimester. Just trying to get through it. Then... then... I think I'll feel the magic???
post #92 of 97
The "tub" that is being loaned to me (if I still want it) is a kids' pool. I just figure it will take 30 or more minutes to fill up, then I would have to adjust the temperature by heating water on the stove...

If I use my tub, it may be kinda small, but it will fill in 10 minutes or less. If I need to cool it down or heat it up a bit, it's easy to do.

I need to see the kiddie pool that is being loaned to me. The one good thing about this pool is that it is really beginning to get some energy stored in it from being involved in so many home water births.

I'm sure we will all make the right decisions at the time though. There's really no predicting how we will feel that day. And if it's a long labor, filling up a kiddie pool and doing tasks like that might help to keep us busy, not worrying or anything.
post #93 of 97
Quote:
Originally Posted by cresorchid
I'm sure we will all make the right decisions at the time though. There's really no predicting how we will feel that day. And if it's a long labor, filling up a kiddie pool and doing tasks like that might help to keep us busy, not worrying or anything.
So true!


Oh, so I'm changing my name slightly. I didn't realize there was another Aurora on UB forum. SO, I'm changing to Arora The Explorer... that's not taken... is it!?!?


So, here I sit in first trimester land. It truly seems like the beginning and the end are the longest parts of pregnancy. I don't look pregnant. I feel sick and tired. I feel like I'm so far far far away from really having another baby. Maybe I should twiddle my thumbs a bit until I feel the first flutters. Or perhaps watch paint dry as I away a burgeoning belly. Or perhaps wait for water to boil so I can sterilize my scissors for the cord. Hmm... waiting... waiting... waiting... Nope, still sick and tired.
post #94 of 97
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skim
Heel stick aside, I still need to find someone to attest that the baby is mine within 5 days of birth. And this person must be a registered birth attendant. Sigh....
I had my first UC in WI two years ago. I didn't call to set up registering her until after the birth. They didn't care. They told me I had a year to register. I spoke with the county registrar who checked it all out directly with the state registrar. I didn't have a "registered birth attendant" so they let me use a chiropractor to sign that line of the form. I just kept telling them ,"no, I can't do that", and they miraculously kept coming up with options and exceptions. Don't let them intimidate you. Also, I never did the heel prick/PKU and I never had to sign anything. Her birth certificate came in the mail just as fast as my son's (born with a MW attending).

FWIW, I just had my latest UC in Iowa and they sent me a waiver form for PKU and the small writing says I have a year to register.
post #95 of 97
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chiromom
I had my first UC in WI two years ago. I didn't call to set up registering her until after the birth. They didn't care. They told me I had a year to register. I spoke with the county registrar who checked it all out directly with the state registrar. I didn't have a "registered birth attendant" so they let me use a chiropractor to sign that line of the form. I just kept telling them ,"no, I can't do that", and they miraculously kept coming up with options and exceptions. Don't let them intimidate you. Also, I never did the heel prick/PKU and I never had to sign anything. Her birth certificate came in the mail just as fast as my son's (born with a MW attending).

FWIW, I just had my latest UC in Iowa and they sent me a waiver form for PKU and the small writing says I have a year to register.
Thanks for your advice. You really nailed what is going on with us: we do feel intimidated by the birth attendant thing. Since I am seeing a chiropractor weekly, and have chosen UP, too, it seems silly for me to find a totally new practitioner just to fill out the paperwork. And I just hate going into medical places with young children. It is a bit scary to leave it up to the good will of the state/county like that, but we may just choose that route, anyway. We're in Dunn county, a small, mostly rural place, and they might not care at all. Especially if I tell them that "No, I can't do that" over and over... (and I did get your pmail a while back too - thanks for responding!) with confidence.

Why are most other states' rules about birth cert. paperwork so much more sane???
post #96 of 97
Thread Starter 
may support thread

I started our new thread for the month
Brandi
post #97 of 97

I have had 3 so far :)

Quote:
Originally Posted by cresorchid
Hi everyone, I just wanted to ask all of you whether you have had painless births>
I'm asking whether and how many of you have had painless births because my stage 1 with my first baby was completely painless–and yet, where they told me that I would have no problems, stage 2, I found quite painful. I've begun to believe that I just rebelled against what I was being told to expect and created a painless stage one and a painful stage 2. But I'm wondering how others have felt.
For me, as long as I stayed loose and listened to my insides I had no pain whatsoever. Two of my labors were posterior, with the baby turning about 15 min before birth. My UC was the longest, but I was tired when I started into labor(don't do it) and had too many people there, trying to be teacher as well as birth attendant as well as mother.... So that was my lesson there. Unfortunately I have not been able to carry another full term since, but I try to teach the moms how to let go, and listen to thier insides, and try to be a wallflower at the births i have attended.
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