Do attendants cause more pain during labor and birth? What allows for a pain-free bi - Page 2

[thismama]

Originally Posted by RiceMomma

I too think that attendants can actually decrease the pain. (That doesn't mean that they can't increase it!) At my last birth, I delivered in the hospital with my husband, my MIL, my CNM and a nurse attending. When I would have a contraction, they would all put their hands on me, rub my head, my back, my feet, speaking softly and encouragingly. The love and support I felt, I cannot describe, but I can tell you, I felt safe, calm, and it didn't hurt as much.

I needed intense counterpressure, delivered by three people, in order for the contractions to feel bearable. I remember feeling anxious that they would quit, as it was obvious they were physically tiring, and looking wildly around for a plan B. I announced that if they couldn't keep up the pressure I was going to jump out the window! :LOL Hilarious now, but at the time I meant it.

I had a strong trust relationship at the time with my baby's father, and I remember when I got transferred to the hospital and everything was disorienting, he left the room to sign me in and the pain seemed so much worse. With my peeps around who I trusted, I felt safer and the pain seemed less.

Also my midwife's genuine caring about me and the baby, and her lack of ego-investment in the birth, really served to help my energy stay positive, and assisted me in my belief that I could actually birth this baby.

I am fairly extroverted, and tend to turn to people in times of difficulty for support. I do not think this is about giving away power, but for me is about gathering support for something difficult I had to do.

My labour and birth was extremely long, unimaginably painful, and the most empowering, loving experience I have ever had.

[doctorjen]

I didn't mean to sound too negative, either, though. Sometimes, I'm sure I help with pain. In fact, the very first birth I ever attended where I had provided the prenatal care for the mama was like that. When I was in the room, she was relaxed and focused, and working well with her pain. When I was gone, she was frightened and anxious and kept calling me back. I asked her if she wanted something for pain, and her dh said "I think she just wants you to stay with her!" She talked later about how much better she felt having a trusted person in the room, who knew what birth was like.
Recently, too, I attended a wonderful VBAC, where the mom had a very painful intense labor, and she also talked later about how helpful it was to have the nurse and I in the room, helping her find comfortable positions, and just reiterating over and over that she could do it.
And sometimes I just hold the space for a normal birth to occur. I had a mom who had a previous unmedicated birth, but felt her doc and the nurses were very intrusive. I was able to request a very hands off nurse for her, and basically said hi to her at the start of labor, and came in the room for the birth. Normally, I expect to be around a lot to help provide support, but in this case I did absolutely nothing, and she was very satisfied with this birth and felt that just protecting her space made all the difference in the world.
Overall, I think there is a continuum. Sometimes attendants are peripheral and don't make much matter, sometimes they make things better, sometimes they make things worse (maybe even most times in our current birth culture.) More and more I try to master the art of doing as little as possible, and encouraging women to follow their own instincts. It's awfully hard sometimes, as it seems our cultural expectations about birth have so stamped out instincts sometimes.

[doctorjen]

Also wanted to acknowlege, that even though my dh isn't a trained attendant, I do feel I would never want to birth a baby again without him (I didn't know him when I had ds#1) He is absolutely intuitive about my needs during labor, and supported me so well. I would think "I need his hand a little lower on my back" and suddenly he would have moved to where I wanted him. He never looked worried or concerned, he protected me from folks in the hospital, he told me he loved me and I was beautiful. I felt so loved and supported, and open to him during labor. I know he's really unique for a man! Whenever I'm mad at him, I sometimes stop and remember how wonderful he was to me during the births of our children and I feel so much more loving toward him! My births were definitely better because he was there.

[IdentityCrisisMama]

Yea, this gets into the idea of defining attendant and UC, I guess. I can’t imagine birthing alone with just me and the child. I could definitely imagine birthing with a non-CNMW or in an environment where women culturally knew how to support a laboring woman. Actually, I’d much prefer this!

[harmonymama]

My first birth (breech) was virtually painless, except when my attendants were pushing on my cervix to try to remove a swollen lip of cervix. It was excruciating when the doctor (who I liked and respected) did it several times and didn't help, and then my MW (who I trust deeply) massaged it. It hurt much less and "melted away", helping me avoid a C-section. I'm sure my trust in her made the difference.

My second birth was not painless, but I didn't experience the contractions as painful until the very end, when they felt like a freight train. I have short labors (8 hrs. and 3-5 hrs.) that aren't very painful. I too don't know why, but feel tremendously blessed.

[Rainbow]

Originally Posted by RiceMomma

But that's my experience. I'm sure there are women who don't want to be touched during labor.

That's me, I don't like to be touched- or talked to. I sort of go to my own place inside and I'm pretty unaware of the world around me. I absolutely hate to be asked questions or anything that requires interaction. I'd probably be happy with a UC- the only thing is that I was *SO* in my own place I'm unsure I could have been aware enough to catch the baby... not aware- but strong and alert enough. I wonder if birthing in a more intimate setting this time will make that place I go to not quite so deep... last two were in a hospital, this one is planned for home.

[IdentityCrisisMama]

HM ~ I was in Turkey at about 5 months pregnant also! We stayed in this funky hostel somewhere with an Australian midwife. Wow! Aya (Aya Sophia for the Hagia Sophia) is only 3 and that seems like ages ago!


Anyway, cute BFing Pic!!

[natashaccat]

I think pain and fear get wrapped up together during birth and good birth attendants can do much to aleviate that fear and help with one's perception of pain.

Imagine getting a cut (a minor one but bloody), it's scary and hurts like heck while you are looking at a gaping wound with blood pouring out but once it's cleaned and bandaged it immediately feels better. The reality is that this is the same cut it was seconds ago prior to bandaging but knowing that the cut isn't serious and that you are taken care of makes the pain feel less.

[ramlita]

Originally Posted by IdentityCrisisMama

I thought I would want to be in the bed ~ nope. I thought I would want the ball, birthing stool, hammock…~ nope.

I can't resist-
did you want to be anywhere ? :LOL





I remember in labor, trying many of the above things, and saying,
"I just can't get comfortable!"
and my midwife said something like, "well, you won't be, for quite a while..." Thanks mw. Helpful.

[Rainbow]

Originally Posted by ramlah

I can't resist-
did you want to be anywhere ? :LOL

:LOL

I remember in labor, trying many of the above things, and saying,
"I just can't get comfortable!"
and my midwife said something like, "well, you won't be, for quite a while..." Thanks mw. Helpful.

helpful, huh?

When my 2nd crowned a nurse said "OMG, that baby is HUGE" and just stood there. My midwife sent her out I've been told

[doctorjen]

Yeah, one of the irritating things the OB did at my last birth, was while she was breaking my water (she insisted prior to "letting" me push) she turned to the nurse and said "That's a really big head!" Gee thanks, that really helps my confidence when I'm getting ready to push. Then she looked scared to death and kept telling me to push harder while the head was crowning. I was convinced something must be terribly wrong. Then I looked up and saw my favorite nurse (I birthed at the hospital I work at) grinning from ear to ear, and I thought "Everything must be fine, or Cheri wouldn't be grinning like that!" I was able to relax a little then, and push my dd out. And her head was really big! And she was over a pound bigger than any of my others, but really there was no problem with getting her out except for being scared to death because of the stupid OB.

[Black Orchid]

I don't know... I think it could be different for every woman and maybe for every birth.

For me, I have trouble "centering" myself on my own. When I am in pain, mental or physical, I find myself getting very frenzied. And if someone (my mom, DH, boss) doesn't catch me and bring me back to earth, I will spin out of control and it just gets worse. That is sort of what happened during my DD's birth.

I was doing okay, breathing through the ctx when they were mild, but once they reached the level that the pain was taking over my body and my awareness, I couldn't handle it. I was also going on three days with little to no sleep because I was in early labor for that long before things got moving. It may have had to do with that.

I think it is very dangerous for anyone to prescribe a "right" way to do things, because each of us are different and have been affected in different ways. I am even sure that each birth is different because our bodies change and no baby is the same size/shape, etc which could make for some very different experiences.

Anyway, I think women should do more about educating themselves on their options and the effects that their choices will have on their body and baby well in advance of labor so that they don't feel cheated. I think women also should keep and open mind and do what feels right, as opposed to building an ideal and then suffering when they can't live up to that ordeal.

I think natural birth is the best option and, IMO, should be what everyone strives for. However, if there is a woman who cannot take it, I would rather her find relief and not be scarred for life. We have to stop being so hard on each other and judgemental of situations that we were not a part of. Just because someone succumbs to their pain does not make them less of a woman or less deserving of their child.

[JesseMomme]

Originally Posted by Rainbow

I also don't equate pain with bad... pain can be good. If you listen to your body pain tells us something important. Pain tells me to let go of a hot pan. Pain tells me what my body needs. In labor pain tells me what positions are best for me and my baby in our current situation, it tells me what I need to know to birth my baby.

What she said

Pain free was never my ultimate goal in birth - my ultimate goal was to keep my body sacred and my babies safe. In my first two attended births (hosp/drs) having everybody around and going in and out and out and in just distracted me from myself and I wasn't allowed to be very mobile. With ds#2 I was "allowed" to labor in a hot tub for a while, alone with my dh, and it was the only time I could cope. They practically dragged me out and put me in a wheelchair (OWCH!) to get me back into bed. After that point with Ds#2 I was a prisoner of the bed and starting transistion and I think I was practically begging for drugs. Which I got (and alls I got was a really good brain high). The Drs/attendants also were angry that I was all tangled up in my IV line from moving so much (so what) and though I knew I had to push on my hands knees they dragged me to my side (trying to get me to lithotomy), more ouch,

Not to mention having your cervix checked sent off spasmordic, hot, painful uncopeable (did I invent a word?) contractions.

What about hands off attendants? I can't speak for myself because I have never had any hands off attendants. But in general my answer is a big resounding YES.

I have had two UCs now, and I recall it to be outright painful. But with no one around, I was able to meditate inwards, get through one contraction at a time, I was never afraid or worried. I think I had the oppt to listen to what the pain was telling me and with no one around telling me to do otherwise I could better cope. I spent much of ds#3's labor sleeping while sitting on the toilet with a pillow set on top of the hamper :LOL. Ironically I spent Dd's labor half sitting/lounging on a nest on my bedroom floor, because it was next to an open window and the cool breeze was the only thing making me feel much better. My senses were so hieghtened that I wanted Dh with me but not to touch me other than maybe my hands because it magnified the intensity of contractions. Especially the back labor. (ds#3 I labored and birthed entirely alone) But I could say "dont touch me!!" :LOL and he'd do exactly as I told him :LOL

I could but I have diapers to change! INteresting thread.

[Rainbow]

Jessemomme- I had the exact same experience of "retreating" to a place deep within myself for my births. The nurses considered me a very compliant patient, but really I was just unaware and uninterested in the world around me. I am very anxious to see if I am so secluded within myself for my first homebirth planned this month! My midwife *seems* very hands off- so we will see. So far so good.

[Quickening]

Background first:
From my own first birth experience, I was of the mindset all through my pregnancy that birth was NOT inherently painful. I think pain is your body telling you something, or trying to get you to correct something that isnt right.

I believed that deep down inside but I can't say why. Everyone gave me a hard time during my first pregnancy - saying I was naive and that i would need an epidural which I wouldnt get at my hb : )

I also knew that fear would interfere with the birth process. I also knew that stress, tension, apprehension etc would do the same. I also knew that it was ideal to birth in an environment free of those pressures - for me, that was home!

So, birthing environment, instinctive belief/knowledge?, and relaxation/secureness played a part I think.

As for birthing attendants:
I think this should refer to ANYONE present at birth (other than the birthing woman), whether they "attend" in a professional manner like a m/w or OB etc. or not.

I say this because my personal experience during my first birth had me feeling like the contractions hurt sometimes and I realised that they only started to hurt or become difficult to handle WHEN SOMEONE INTERRUPTED MY BIRTH FLOW!

Sometimes it was talking. Sometimes it was touching me. Sometimes it was coming too close, trying to look at me. Sometimes it was movement or distraction in the room. Sometimes it was "thoughtful help" like offering me a drink or putting a hot towel on my belly/back.

It was annoying. And it was not just the m/w who did it!

As for PAIN - that came straight from the mw when she did two internals and tried to "help things along by giving things a good stretch down there". That was PAIN pure and simple.

So yes, I think birth attendants can contribute to, or cause pain in childbirth. I also believe that other people present at the birth can disrupt the birthing process by something as simple as interrupting the personal space or visual space of the mother giving birth.

[UmmBnB]

I haven't read all the replies so some have probably said what I'm going to say.

I'd classify my first birth as truly pain-free as what I felt, while intense, did not fit my definition of pain. Pain to me at the time was a broken collar bone, a sprained ankle, etc. The sensations I felt during that labor just didn't fit. It was intense as hell - a welcomed feeling!

Birth number two had a period of time when it was down right painful. I remember thinking, 'ok i'm done. this can be over now. experience had, lets get it on with' LOL My husband and I were arguing (read the birthstories in my sig for details, both my and my husbands versions) and i wasn't in a place to *let* myself properly experience the sensations of labor. As soon as we got in the right headspace - once the argument was over - I was able to have power over the contractions and move joyfully through the rest of the labor.

For me, childbirth pain was a state of mind plain and simple.

[nikirj]

My third birth was almost completely painless (there was a moment of pain just as the need to push hit me). My first was very, very painful. The second was somewhere in between.

For me, it is all about surrendering myself to the birthing process. Feeling myself work and open, well, BIRTH. Nothing magical as far as I am concerned; the less I fight it, the less it hurts. The more I work with it the better I feel. That first birth I was scared witless and hadn't learned the power of my own body yet. I know it much better now. My body is powerful and capable, and can handle childbirth; I was MEANT to do this, I CAN do this, and it WILL happen whether I want it to or not, why not WANT it?

And there was a great analogy, so important to me that it is actually in my birth story; if you take a hike and focus on the difficult things (the sweat, the heat, the burn of muscles, the wear on feet), you could be in the most beautiful place on earth and still not see it. So I chose to look at the positives and overlook the irritations. And it worked for me.

[UmmBnB]

Originally Posted by nikirj

For me, it is all about surrendering myself to the birthing process. Feeling myself work and open, well, BIRTH. Nothing magical as far as I am concerned; the less I fight it, the less it hurts. .

You very much hit the nail on the head. I was nothing but centered in my first birth and I can truly say it was pain-free (described in my previous post). In my second I began labor with a huge distraction and I was in pain, I wasn't enjoying it, I just wanted it over with. Once that distraction was gone and I was able to focus completely on letting my body birth it was again euphoric.