5 y/o biting own hand

[movingon]

Hello all. I have a 5 year old who has recently started to bite his own hand when he gets frustrated. He used to just scream at me, but we've been working on that for a couple years, and I feel that now that he's lost the vocal expression, he's gone to self-inflicted pain. I'm not sure how to deal with this or how to help him understand there are other ways to vent his frustration - besides screaming and biting himself.

He's always been high strung and ultra-sensitive. This seems to be just a new form of the same issue.

If anyone has any suggestions at all, I would appreciate them, because I have never encountered this before, nor read anything about it anywhere.

Thanks in advance.

Pyra

[mammastar2]

Hey, I used to do that, or dig my nails into my hand, when I was a kid. No one ever did anything to address it - I was a fairly secretive, obsessive compulsive kind of a kid. I did it more out of curiosity or neurosis, than when I was out and out mad. If it helps, I'm now moderately well-adjusted, without intervention! Maybe help him figure out a new thing he could do to express frustration/seek comfort (actually it felt pretty good in a weird way, when I was a kid) - something that you find a bit less disturbing or more constructive? Perhaps the two of you could brainstorm it together - see if hitting pillows, playing with worry beads, or something like that would help instead.

[PikkuMyy]

I work with children with Autism and my current student really NEEDS to bite when he is upset or angry. He doesn't need to bite himself or me, he just needs to bite. And your son's hand is always there for him to bite. With my student, I introduced the idea of using a chewy toy to bite on when he's upset so that he'll look for one and grab it and bite when upset rather than doing other self-destructive things like hitting his head. Once he gets the bite over with, he's much calmer and can deal with what to do next to calm down.

I would highly recommend buying some professional teethers (there are quite a few speech therapy companies online) and having one in a certain place in each room so that he can get it. You'll need to start out by providing one for him when you see his frustration or anger start to escalate so that he doesn't need to look for it but can use it right away. Then make sure that you teach him where it is and practice looking for it so that he can do it on his own if needed.

[movingon]

thanks :)

I will try to supply some THING to bite on at all times. I'll also try some pillow "therapy" when I can, too. Come to think of it, I chew on things when I'm nervous and frustrated, too. Usually my pen. I guess the marks on his little hands just look so dramatic to me, but after I began to really explore this behavior, I think I know who he gets them from, after all. ***sigh***

Thanks for your responses.


pyra

[PikkuMyy]

I would buy a bunch of different teethers and letting him try them and see which he likes best - he's not going to want to bite on a teether to help with his anger if he doesn't like the way it feels in his mouth, and there are some VERY different teethers out there. Furthermore, some of them LOOK like baby teethers and at 5 1/2, he'd probably not care for those, whereas some others are much more inconspicuous, like the Grabber XT, and P and Q set my student has - special non-toxic soft plastic, each in the shape of a letter, which he really likes for chewing on. Another good one is the Chewy tube. Let me see if I can find a link for you...

http://www.beyondplay.com/CATALOG/RAT1.HTM

http://www.beyondplay.com/CATALOG/ORA2.HTM

http://www.beyondplay.com/CATALOG/ORA1.HTM

THe last link has 4 pages, so click through all of them. They are expensive, but OTOH, these are products that are going to be in your son's mouth and you really want him chewing on material that is meant to go in the mouth and be chewed on, not just some plastic or rubber toys you buy that might get into his system and be bad for him. Plus they're extremely durable and easy to wash.

[GruppieGirl]

Your son sounds just like my brother. But, before I go on I want to let you know that he is now 25yo, a college graduate, very social and YES a layed back type of person. Don't tell him that I told you, but he is prety cool.


As a toddler and preschooler my brother bit his hands (daily) until they bled. The scars were horrible! He would easily be set off my me (older sis), my parents or even a trip to the shoe store (he still hates to shop).


My Mom says that the day he waent off to public school the behavior stopped. He saw what more appropriate behavior looked like and just stopped. He was sucessful in school socially and educationally.


My only advice to you would be to get him into some organized group of kids, like a kindergarten and let him watch and interact with the others. Please feel free to pm me if you need to talk or need any other advice.

[GruppieGirl]

How are you and your ds?

[movingon]

Hey, thanks for asking.

He's getting better. I'm constantly catching him and telling him his mouth is for eating food, not his hand, and suddenly he is starting to "get" it. He now catches himself, and I hear him say, "Oh, that not goes there." There are still some little red marks now and then, but less frequently. I did find something a little squishy for him to bite on instead, at first, but I think he'd prefer not to bite anything at all.

He's still not coming and asking for help when he is getting frustrated. Very independent and stubborn, but easily frustrated, some days...

How are you and yours doing?


PYra

[GruppieGirl]

Pyra~ You sounds like you and your ds are doing better I'm so glad!!

You are too sweet to ask about our little ones too! They are enjoying this rainy morning, by doing errands with dh while I get a little veg time.

[Jlynne2boyz42]

Hand biting

My nephew 2 1/2 bites himself is there any underlying medical reasons that may cause it or is it really just something that children do to cope. We have been very concerned about it and have been saying don't bite. He seems to be becoming more aware of what he is doing but still he continues to do it.

Alot of people who see it suggest that he be tested for autism, any thoughts on that?

[Brigianna]

Do you mind if I ask why this is a problem? I still bite my hand as an adult, and it's never caused me any problems. I mean there are ways to train him to stop if you really don't want him doing it, but honestly I would just let it go. He's not hurting anyone.