I, too, have experienced some unpleasantness among pagans.
I had a friend who was like a sister. She thought I had knowledge/power she wanted. She cultivated my friendship. I trusted her.
Then she wanted me to be her "mentor" or teacher. I could have fed my ego by taking on such a role with her. I chose only to direct her to the resources I had discovered, for her to check out and use or not according to her own will.
In retrospect, from that day when I chose NOT to take on that role, I can see that she began to treat me as if I was weak for not doing so...her respect for me waned. I see that now. (there's much more to the story which I have edited out- after a decade, I am still processing and I don't want to try to share what still hurts me as it will color the truth. After all, there ARE at least two sides to everything.)
I am just not the type of person to WANT that role. Though I have been a teacher, I don't need/want to be anyone's boss nor to tell others what is what. Folks are not stupid. I trust them. If they desire knowledge, they will find it.
There are those in need of bosses and those who seek simple, respectful support. The two are very different paths. Being a boss only works as long as those being bossed continue to give the boss that power. If someone develops past that need, a boss may attack or by sowing the seeds of separation, inspire others to attack for them. Been there, been subject to that attack and I feel strongly that shunning or inspiring others to shun IS an attack. That kind of attack always reflects impotence.
REAL power comes from being REAL, honest, humble, unaffected in one's manner; not from showing off, shiny trappings, or stereotypical exteriors. Real power is clearly evident in folks who don't even know they are exhibiting it.
It hurts to be lied about...I do know that. It is embarrassing to watch someone cover their own tracks at the expense of others (especially if it is at YOUR expense) and it's sad when you find out that you've been spoken of unkindly to many. I KNOW...I have been there and I have felt it.