ok talk to me about birth center vs hospital

[IncaMama]

I gave birth to DS in a hospital last time. i labored at home for 8 hours and then couldn't handle it anymore (or could i? i don't know...i was scared, it was my first time, and it hurt like BLAZES!) so we went to the hospital. i was immediately given stadol (twice) which was heavenly and i slept for a few hours. put on pitocin bc it wasn't progressing (probably bc of the stadol, i realize now). still wasn't progressing, MORE pitocin, problems monitoring DS, had to have an internal monitor screwed into his head!!!!!!!!!!!

FINALLY got an epidural which was "great" until i started feeling extremely nauseous (could it be that i hadn't eaten in almost 24 hours??) and i couldn't move my legs. i couldn't feel PAIN but i was miserable. finally upped the pitocin AGAIN because i STILL wasn't progressing and ultimately, i pushed for about 20 minutes and he was out.

so...not a great experience. BUT the PAIN of the contractions before i started that mess was INSANE! i know all of you moms know that. i'm preaching to the choir but i am REALLY nervous about being able to withstand it without the epidural. even though i hated the side effects.

so i don't know what to do...i'm sort of afraid of the birth center because i know i can't have an epidural there...but i'm sort of afraid of the hospital because it's so unnatural and i wasn't allowed to eat and i couldn't move my body at all. it just felt *wrong* somehow...

but again the pain.

so please shower me with your wisdom.

[Satori]

I'd go with the birth center. In the hospital you usually have lousy support whereas at a birth center you always have someone with you who's trained to help keep you calm and keep labor progressing. A really good book to read about giving birth in a center is "Gentle Birth Choices" by Baraba Harper.

[Kirsten]

I'm sorry you had a less than great birth experience the first time. I am glad you are researching better options the next time around! Can I ask what you were planning for pain relief that first time? Did you take classes - and what type?

I am the 'cry at a paper cut' type and no one believed me when I said I'd have natural childbirth, not even my dh (bless his heart for not telling me that til after I did it!) We took Bradley classes (not hospital classes!) and I truly believe that they were the sole and total reason I was able to have three incredible births (first in hospital with a nurse midwife, second in a freestanding birth center with a certified midwife, third at home with certified midwives).

I know everyone has different levels of pain tolerance, different bodies/babies, etc. but I honestly believe that if couples learned what we did in our classes, 90% could have really wonderful births. During and right after each of my three births, I knew I could do it again - and the thought didn't worry me a bit.

[IncaMama]

hospital classes that were preeetty much worthless. the "breathing" techniques were a joke. TOTAL joke. unfortunately my DH is not as tactful and basically laughed in my face when i told him LAST time that i wanted no pain meds, and that had been my decision going into it. of course i changed my mind abuot 8 hours in...and you know the rest now. LOL

so when i told him i wanted to try no meds again this time he almost peed in his pants. he really has very little faith in my ability to make it without meds. grrr. so do i, though, so i can't blame him.

i think with better classes i might be able to...bradley is a good method?

[Kirsten]

Bradley classes could change the world of birthing IMO. You can go online and find some near you. We drove an hour (round trip) to get to ours each week - worth every minute/mile! After the first class, I KNEW I could do it - I was so psyched!

I don't even know you and I have every faith that you can do it. You just have to learn how to work with your body, what to avoid, how your dh can help you. I think someone already linked to Bradley - didn't they? I will check and be sure - no, must have been a different thread. They linked to www.bradleybirth.com I believe....

My husband went from very doubtful (of my ability to handle it) and very nervous about how to help me - as well as a "do what the doctors say - they are the professionals" - before our classes.... to knowing I could do it and exactly how he could help me and an incredible birth consumer - ready and armed with knowledge of what each choice meant to me and the baby. I was a bit nervous that the hospital (first time around) wouldn't like us coming in and refusing all their high tech options - but they were great! I think it is because we were calm and confident and nice about it.

[spiralmg]

Just one comment about doing it without the meds:

After the pain stops, it TRULY stops - and you don't have any aftereffects.

We didn't do the Bradley class (which I might do this time around?) but did have a wonderful doula and midwives who were with me throughout labor (which started in the midwife's office a few hours after my water broke) and birth. It just helped so much being supported instead of doing it by myself (i.e. like you did laboring at home, I think). The one thing that really cut through my pain (and I mean what a wild other/inner worldly experience) was this incredible feeling of people being with me and telling me that I was doing all the right things and a great job. And then even though it seemed eternal in the doing, as soon as DS was born, there was NO PAIN and I was tired but fine. Seriously.

[Geofizz]

Spirlmg makes some really good points about the pain. When a contraction is over, it's totally over. When the baby is born the contractions are gone (except for a few contractions I got with nipple stimulation -- a cake walk in comparison).

DD was born in the hospital without meds. My water broke and it took 15 hours for my contractions to start, but they started off with a vengence! My doula really had me responding to what I body was telling me to do, which I think both helped relieve some of the pain and hastened labor.

I didn't take a Bradley class -- we took a very lame Lamaze class, that both DH and I tossed aside as pretty useless. I read "Birthing from Within," which was VERY useful in getting myself to actually believe I could handle it and to give me an idea of how I would actually want to handle it. I read "A Good Birth, a Safe Birth" and "Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth" to convince me that I wanted to avoid most interventions, and to give me a solid basis for making an informed decision in the event the discussion of interventions ever came up. I picked a couple key sections from each book for DH to read (he wasn't willing to read them all) which brought him on board to the route of avoiding interventions.

[Kirsten]

Originally Posted by Geofizz

Spirlmg makes some really good points about the pain. When a contraction is over, it's totally over. When the baby is born the contractions are gone (except for a few contractions I got with nipple stimulation -- a cake walk in comparison).

This really struck me as to how different we all are and how our experiences can be SO different! I do agree with "when the contraction is over, it's totally over". But I found that afterpains (when nursing my newborn babies those first few days) were HELL ON EARTH and MUCH, MUCH worse than any part of labor. I could give birth all day long but if someone could figure out a way to shrink my uterus back to normal size without me going through such torture, I'd appreciate it!

[Geofizz]

Hmmm, Good to know! I guess we can never say "it will always be like this."

Were they longer? My afterpains hurt like the dickens, but only lasted for a few seconds at a time. I guess I said they were a cakewalk because they didn't feel like the same test of my endurance as active labor/transition contractions.

In my mind, the worst part of the afterpains was struggling with nursing (something that didn't go smoothly at first) while concentrating on the contraction.

[Kirsten]

If I had to guess at afterpain length each time I nursed.... maybe 15 seconds? But it seemed like 15 seconds of being stabbed with a knife so I had a hard time with that.

Each and every part of labor made sense to me, I knew what to expect, my body handled it well because I was so calm and supported and just KNEW I could do it. I wasn't scared - as I had been for years, worrying about how in the world I'd survive what so many women describe as pain so bad they beg for death - oh boy, sign me up....

I give 100% credit to the Bradley Method for educating me and taking away my fear and giving me such confidence and knowledge that I could do it. I didn't even get in the tub with dd1 because I was "saving" that as a last ditch safety net if it got too rough. Never got to that point, nowhere close. Have had three babies, three different locations, one presented OP (not the right way to have a baby I can assure you! but Bradley got me through) and never needed to use the tub - it never got that bad. I may be a freak of nature.... or maybe Bradley works. Hmmmm.....

[Geofizz]

Originally Posted by Kirsten

I didn't even get in the tub with dd1 because I was "saving" that as a last ditch safety net if it got too rough. Never got to that point, nowhere close.

It's interesting to hear you say that.

My doula had me stay out of the water until I was sure I was in active labor because she was worried it would slow things down. (I was about 6 hours from induction for ruptured membranes.) I didn't get in the water, and stayed where my body told me to be: Hugging the toilet. DD came about 20 mintues after we ditched the car in the drop-off lane at the hospital.

Now I can't even imagine the thought of laboring in a tub. People sing its praises left and right, but it just doesn't click with me. This issue is actually one of the first things I have on my list to discuss with the midwife next week!

[IncaMama]

wow. ok i'm gonna go get all of those books and find a bradley class! i am CONVINCED that natural is the best way to go, i am just not convinced that *I* can pull it off. :rofl: