Waves Of Anxiety

[Emilie]

I have spent all day learning about CD and am so excited. I also read over some of my pg books.... so all day I was really excited about the baby...
however tonight after my dh came to bed and I was laying there thinking about my little ds and how it is not just going to be me and him anymore- my heart sank. How do I stop these feelings from coming.
I am so scared that I will not be able to handle two kids- just as I was getting the hang of one and really enjoying it- I just do not understand how I will handle it all- and how ds will not suffer from it!
I know these are normal feelings- but seriously- I am really upset.... like why did I let this happen? Things were starting to get easier. Ds is almost 2 and I was getting some breathing room and was able to relax- AND now it will just start all over again!
Anyone else feeling this way?
I tried to talk to dh about these feelings but he basically told me to get over it- cause there was nothing I could do about it and it will be fine.
Thanks for any advice on how to get my head on strait or work thru these feelings.
Emilie

[mamatoady]

you don't want to stop the feelings from coming, they are simply feelings. i worry about my two year old also and how our relationship will change. there of course will be times when our 1st babies will be jealous and angry, but allow them to have those feelings and sympathize with them. Just think how it would feel if our husbands brought home an extra wife--it's the same deal. Love them through it and know that intime they won't even be able to imagine (or remember) life without baby sister/brother. Our relationship with our babies WILL change,a lot. They'll have to share our time and our love. we may find them to be a nuseance once in a while when new baby is sick or ifwe just want to give them undevided attention. Just remember not to ignore the feelings and see it as a "letting go" of what was in order to create what's new. Your child is not going to resent you (for long) for bringing their new sibling into the picture :LOL Also just remember that you've already done this before so,in a sense, you are not going to "do it all over again" you know what you're doing, it will be easier and if your little guy is 2 now,he'll be almost three when baby is born andwill be fascinated by babies and want to help you with him!

peace,
sarah

[bec]

Here's some perspective from a mom of 2 going on 3. What you are feeling is completely normal. I even think it is healthy. I've felt that way to some degree or another in both pregnancies. Go ahead, and let yourself grieve for the changes that will come to your family. It's ok. When I was pregnant with Emily, I really spent that time paying close attention to Katie, how she was doing and just reveling in the time we spent together and the stage she was in. I involved her in the entire pregnancy. As a result, I think, she is very close to her sister now, and we can't imagine life without her. Feeling this way does not mean you love your baby any less. It just means that change is difficult.



Bec

[hypatia]

Emilie,

I could have written every word of your post. I also am really worried about being able to handle taking care of two kids. I'm worried I will have no alone time, that DS will be resentful, and that I won't have time to relish DC2's babyhood the way I did with DS. I've just started to take up some hobbies again that I'll have to set aside. I'm sure DS will cope, but I have spent the last year and a half developing a relationship with him and meeting his needs, and it sounds terrible to suddenly stop being so attentive to him.

I just feel so centered in my life the way it is, I really hope I don't screw it up.