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Pregnant & Nursing / Tandem Nursing CLW'ers - Page 2

post #21 of 54
Wow, I love to hear other stories about tandem nursing that are positive, because right now dd is driving me crazy!! She wants to nurse all the time and she loves to do acrobatic manuvers while I am 32 weeks pg. But my favorite nursing issue right now is the pinching. Oh. My. Goodness. I cannot stand the feeling of her getting a little bit of my booby skin (which there is a lot of because of stretch marks etc...) and rolling it around between her fingers. I am about to go through the roof every time we nurse. It doesn't really hurt, but it feels awful. SHe has always played with my boobs somehow, but this is the worst. Right now, we take nursing breaks if she doesn't stop, but then she freaks out and flails and screams at me to nurse. If anyone has any ideas on how to stop her, I would love them. I really want to nurse two, but not like this. It has caused so much stress in our relationship. I don't think she "gets" why I don't like it. It is almost like she just can't stop herself.
Hopefully things will get better when the REAL milk gets here. She says there is plenty of milk and that it still tastes good, so I dont' know why she is doing it. By the way, she is 20 mos.

Thanks for listening to me vent
post #22 of 54
Louise, that sounds really frustrating! I hope it gets better. Have you tried an interesting nursing necklace?

Hey, I did it! I nursed all the way through this pregnancy! (Well, I was 39 weeks complete yesterday; I think we're gonna make it ) It actually was not a big deal, although I definitely got seriously irritated a few times in the first and second trimester. I think I was only almost dry for about a week, as I switched over from milk to colostrum pretty early on. She hasn't slowed down a whole lot, and she obviously still needs it, so I'm really glad. I try really hard not to refuse her when she asks (and I actually still offer), but sometimes I pop her off when it is really annoying.

I am looking forward to exploring the ups and downs of tandem nursing land. Any day now......
post #23 of 54
kavamamakava...i don't know what to say. i was expecting warm fuzzy memories, but got a good laugh instead. your sister must have been a pistol. those are great memories to share with your nurslings though.

i have a journal for my dd (about her birth) which i've added many other things especially tandem stories. incase she remembers only the teasing from her brothers.

mom's who are due soon, hang in there! and Ubertulip...just a few more days!
post #24 of 54
Originally Posted by kirstie
That is probably one of my main goals of tandeming. I want to give every chance for my children to bond as close as possible with their sibling. I would think that's every parents goal, it just seems like tandem is a leg up in that direction. Or am i romantizing this bond?
Yup, I definitely think tandem nursing helped my girls bond better. It certainly helped me continue to meet Leah's needs. I never felt like Leah was being "cheated" out of babyhood- I simply had two babies!! I remember comparing notes with a friend who had twins within 2 weeks of Hannah's birth, and we both came to the conclusion that she had it easier!! In all fairness, she had a stable marriage and 10 years of parenting experience (her twins were babies # 3 and 4 for her) so I'm sure those were factors as well.

I never really went through the "OMG my toddler is HUGE all of a sudden" phase that many parents of close-in-age siblings went through. For me it was more like "Leah is my baby, and I also have this infant in my care." I had PPD and it took me a while to bond with Hannah. For most of her early months, I was thinking solely of Leah and modeling AP for her. I didn't pick up Hannah the moment she cried because I cared about Hannah- I picked up Hannah the moment she cried because I wanted to show Leah that we pick up babies the moment they cry. Does that make sense?

Fortunately for Hannah, I "fell in love with her" when she was about 4mo. I "fell in love" with my other two before birth. To this day, she's the least secure of the 3. I figure I'm getting lots of moments to make up for the ones we missed in infancy- at age (almost)9 she's still a snugglebug
post #25 of 54
Melissa: I just got used to it. Nadia started the pinching thing around 20 months too. I would hold her hand and remind her that pinching hurts mommy and offer her my shirt to pinch or put her hand on her belly so she could pinch herself. haha. And then she started digging my belly button. I even started wearing maternity pants with a panel so it was covered even though I hate those pants.
Sad to report, she'll be 3 in July and she's still attempting it. Almost every time she nurses, I have to be vigilant and rearrange her hands or hold her hand or offer her something else to pinch. She likes pinching my bra instead sometimes. When she's cranky or really tired, she can't seem to stop digging my belly button or pinching me and that does end the nursing session. I end up with a crying, angry toddler but I don't see any other option. I know she's mostly crying because she's tired though. So I scoop her up and rock her until she falls asleep.
post #26 of 54
Thread Starter 
kirstie...All three of my children (former triandem nurslings...now a "weaner" and tandem nurslings) have a VERY close bond. They quite obviously love each other, support and protect each other, and love to cuddle with each other. Yes, they do have their fights...and my 6 year old does think that one little sister is quite enough...but at the heart of it they have this amazing bond. I think triandem nursing had a LOT to do with it....as well as the older children being at their younger siblings' births. It will be interesting to see what happens when our "moonbaby" is born in September!

Pinching...My Haley is a pincher (she's drawn blood!). I've found that trying to stop the pinching doesn't work, but replacing the THING she is allowed to pinch is the key. She's allowed to pinch my shirt, the cord of our nursing necklace (which she loves rolling between her fingers), a stuffed animal, etc., just not skin!
post #27 of 54
goodness, the other day my 2 and 3 were nursing. my 2nd was teasing the 3rd (my baby) so bad. he would hold out the nipple towards her and wait as she crawled to him with an open mouth eager for the treat! and he would wait until she was about to latch and then take it away and laugh so hard. he did this one more time until baby decided that was enough for her. meanwhile she had grabbed my breast and aimed it back to me offering me the nipple (or squirt me). she is such a giver.
anyways....all i could thing as i watched my breasts being twisted and almost tied in knots (yes, they are long enough to have that done) is that i am so glad i'm not pregnant!!!!.....that would hurt soooo bad.
hang in there pregnant mama's!!!
Amanda, you always have such great advice for mom's going throught this rough period (nursing, pregnant, and surviving nursing and pregant). You moms that are pregnant have a great one to ask for advice on getting through this time (asking Amanda that is).
Happy nursing!
Tandem mom's are moms' of endurance!
post #28 of 54
Thread Starter 
kirstie...what a mischevious nursling and a sweet nursling you have!!! :LOL And thanks...you sure do know how to make a pregnant woman cry!
post #29 of 54
i LOVE this thread.....dh and i will be ttc starting in about 6 weeks and i am very nervous (and excited). my 2 1/2 year old still nurses a TON and we are all committed to CLW.....i think he will dry nurse if the milk goes away, and he is bright and easy to talk to about things so i think we can talk about it as well.....but reading this thread helps so much seeing all the other moms who have btdt....thanks!!!!! and i hope to be joining your ranks soon!
post #30 of 54

new member here...

...and so glad I spied this thread! I only know (in real life) one tandeming mama and she had a horrible experience and actually encouraged me NOT to tandem! Anyway, I am tandem nursing a dd who turns 5 in end of May and a ds who turns 2 in mid June. Actually, I am beginning to think my tandem days are over...I cannot remember the last time dd nursed (maybe 3 times in the last month and it was just a quick "drive-by" suckle and a giggle) and I am not quite ready to say she has weaned, as just when I think she has she nurses again.

Overall tandeming is going WAAAAaaaay better than it did at the beginning. To make a long story short ds was "air evacuated" with me to another province (I live in Northern Canada, no peds surgeons here) as a week old and had a inguinal hernia repair (it was strangulating and he was vomiting, dehydrated) and the next day had a upper bowel obstruction which they found post op repaired as well. DD woke up one morning (she had only just turned 3) and I was gone for 8 days, just like that. We came back and I tried to settle into life with 2 kids. Ds was greatly weakend by surgery, and just couldn't nurse well, so I used the supplementary nursing system around my neck and dd even tandemed with us, just flipping the tube off the nipple when she nursed. I suffered from pp depression (actually more like incredible anxiety/obsessive thoughts, not weepiness or anything) and was on meds for 6 months, which really helped. I was so glad that with my mind stressed and clouded with anxiety so much so that I sometimes couldn't even feed or dress us that I could just sit and nurse and that prolactin would work!
I was determined to stick with tandeming but it was so hard, adjusting to 2 kids, feeling at times like I hated my dd for being so "needy" of me, frustrated by how often she was nursing, dealing with that antsy feeling that happend when they nursed together. I just couldn't believe the pendulum my emotions were on especially the first 6 months! I talked LOTS to my La leche league leaders from a group I used to attend and that helped, and it took alot of thought and introspection and crying and thinking when at times I wanted to wean her RIGHT now when she nursed more than her brother.

BuuUUUuut...when I see things like them hold hands when they nurse, or her tell him what side to take, and how they generally get along, I know it has been worth it. I loved how my "boobie juice" put both of them to sleep so quickly and conveniently when dh worked nights and I was alone at bedtime. Tandeming really changed my relationship with dd, I learned to set some limits (ABC's and count to 10...) for my own sanity and I learned that I just needed to take care of myself and follow her own pace...and I can see how she has matured emotionally this last year. And I remember standing in Walmart buying formula to supplement ds and crying that I couldn't do it (breastfeed) when my dd never had a drop in her life, and thought of all the moms I have helped breastfeed ( I am an OBS RN) and I KNEW I couldn't give up...I had to give ds that beautiful relationship/mothering that dd had. I see him revel and delight in his "nur nurs" and I know it has been worth it

So to all you mama's out there who are struggling...it really does get better (although you won't think so when you are in the thick of things, but boy you will see the results when you one day pass through to the other side of your struggle) KEEP ON KEEPING ON!

post #31 of 54
Tina, great job enduring the rough times! Determination will get you far. Your dd and ds have a great role model as well as mama.

My oldest nursling turns 5 on sunday. I keep going back to what i was doing 5 years ago today preparing for my unborn baby. I was concerned if breastfeeding was going to take with my baby. I had heard so many moms that had not been able to do it and they were expecting it to be easy. I did fumble the ball i guess the first few days of nursing. I felt like i was all thumbs. I am so greatful to my dh because he would gently coach me thru nursing. Yes, a man taught me how to nurse! I could not see my nipples and i would think i was smothering my little guy. But, dh would make sure that ds was latched and latched properly. Those early days..... But, i became a pro real quick!
And if you had told me i'd be regularly nursing 3 in 5 years.....i probably would have crawled into my baby's womb and stayed there with him!
post #32 of 54
I just found out I'm pregnant, so I wanted to add myself to the conversation. I'm only 4 weeks, so no problems so far. My nursling is 27 mos., he will turn 3 right after the babe is born and I anticipate tandeming for at least a year after that. He's a boob addict, and still nurses several times an hour during the day. Thankfully he's night weaned, so I'm gonna really savor these next 8 mos. of sleep!
post #33 of 54
Well, I'm glad to read some positive stories, because they remind me of some future benefits to the tandem nursing that currently drives me craxy. My milk dried up early in pg, when dd1 was ~ 20 months. Now she nurses like a newborn, and she often insists in doing "2 babies" which usually drives me crazy. I have actually decided to start weaning her, though I was so dedicated to clw, and I still plan on doing it "gradually, with love", but I know from the way I snap, or roll my eyes or groan when she asks to nurse, and how my entire body is shouting "no!", it's really time to start encouraging her in that direction. I feel overwhelmed with guilt, but there are so many times I want to wean her on the spot, this seems like the better alternative.
post #34 of 54
I am tandem nursing my son who will be 3 in July, and my dd who just turned 14 months.

How is pregnant nursing / tandem nursing going for you?

-Good, for the most part. We have our days where I swear all I do is nurse, but overall things are going great.

What do you love about pregnant nursing / tandem nursing?

-Pregnant nursing it was cool because I knew I could get some rest by nursing him. Same thing with tandem nursing.

Are you experiencing any difficulties?

-I dont like when they both latch on at the same time. I cant explain it, but sometimes it makes my skin crawl. They also get "nursing envy" sometimes, if one sees the other nursing he/she wants to automatically nurse.

Do you have any amusing or touching stories to share?

-DS is so cute with his sister. He has tried to nurse her, the cat etc on occasion. Once he was nursing and she came over fussing (because as I mentioned above, she gets "nursing envy") and he stopped right away said "Sissy's turn for be-be's (be-be's is "nursing" in our house)" and then he got off my lap, tried to help her up on to my lap and when she started nursing he petted her head and said "Its ok, mommy loves you".
post #35 of 54
just wanted to get in on the conversation!
i'm currently just about 5 weeks pregnant with #2, still nursing my total boobie girl, who is 16 months old. so far my supply seems fine, though i'm drinking lots and lots of water to keep it up, but my nips are on FIRE all the time, especially when k is nursing! ack!
i'm hoping we can keep nursing through the pregnancy and have a great tandem nursing experience come december!
post #36 of 54

Pregnant & Nursing / Tandem Nursing CLW'ers

I have been tandem nursing for about 14 months - ds is 28 months and dd is close to 14. I have also been in cross nursing relationship with my co-wife and a friend and therefore regard myself quite a pro. I have had my share of supply concerns, mastitis, physical strain but with God's grace they were shortlived and could be overcome with little effort. Of late ds has been showing signs of weaning out - perhaps I shall miss him. In the meantime, I have become aware of the fact that children bf'ed for longer periods might remember their experience quite vividly and mention it before others which may bring embarrassment sometimes. Only recently our ds insisted that I should also nurse his Abbu (Dad) along with him and repeated the demand after a few days. Embarrassing, is n't it? Otherwise, on the whole, mine has been a rewarding experience in tandemning and pregnant nursing.
post #37 of 54
I have also been in cross nursing relationship with my co-wife and a friend and therefore regard myself quite a pro.
Uzra, does your dh have more than one wife and are you nursing children you haven't birthed? If so, wow! Sorry to be nosy, but i love that these forums are so globabally accessed!

i enjoy logging into these forums and find comfort in knowing and talking to other moms who do what i do. It's not so lonely.
I know of other moms who tandem nurse in my area, but it's harder to meet other moms (offline) who tandem nurse, etc because that not an issue that comes up regularly unless you are in a conversation about nursing, etc. The woman down the road tandem nursed, her kids are 15 & 16 now (and they are smart kids!). She did it when she knew no one else that had. No online comrades! I love that her dd babysits my dd on saturday's. She wants to study child psychology and i love feeding her info that is not "mainstream"...yet!
But, alas, me and my neighbor, though we both tandemed/tandem....are the only ones in this cove that breastfed at all!
post #38 of 54
YES, Kirstie, I am wife#2 of my dh. Five years before marrying me, he had married a cousin of mine but did not have any issue from her all those years. Then he married me. You see, we are Muslims and a husband can have more than one wife (actually up to four are allowed by religion). I gave my dh his first child (our ds who is about 28 months) and a daughter subsequently(about 14 months now), but in between my co-wife also conceived and had a daughter (about 21 months now). Since her birth, I have been frequently nursing her too and my co-wife does the same to my ds and dd who came later, as we are all living together and share many household chores. This has been the tradition in our family. I have sometimes also cross nursed the baby of a friend of mine due to deep emotional bond with her (not out of need as such).
You will appreciate I have been in an environment where bf is a way of life and many highly educated and professional women also adhere to such practises.
post #39 of 54
You will appreciate I have been in an environment where bf is a way of life and many highly educated and professional women also adhere to such practises.
Uzra, i am in awe! You must have very close knit female groups to share nursing. Thanks for posting

Have a great weekend Tandem mom's and Tandem mom's-to-be!
post #40 of 54
Uzra, WOW..to have that kind of support must be wonderful. I don't know a single tandem nusing mama irl! I don't even know any other nursing mamas....especially anyone I would feel close enough to to want to let them nurse my children. I think it would give me more peace of mind if anything ever happened andI needed to leave my kids, kwim?

I left ds once a year asgo for about 2-3 hrs and it was awful, he cried, my dd still talks abut how I should have been there for him...even at the time I knew I would be going I wished I had someone to share nursing with if my son had needed to.

one thought on memories of nursing though.
maybe its because nursing is not a mainstream thing here...but I am so happy that my children will have memories of nursing. and I hope they will both nursing long enough to have memories of tandem nursing....
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