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UC Mamas Chat Thread -- April/May - Page 2

post #21 of 38
Just joining in late.......My baby girl was born on Friday. Here is a shameless plug for my birth story Zoyya Xuxa

Looking forward to hearing all about how our babes are growing
post #22 of 38
Thread Starter 
Was out of town for a few days and missed all of you!

FreeRangemama -- great birth story! Thanks so much for sharing. Hope you and your sweet daughter are enjoying your baby moon. Can't wait to hear more about her.

Mamajazza -- you continue to strike cords with your posts. I, too, have been thinking I should hold Finn 24/7. He's in the Moses basket at my feet right now and it's all I can do not to hold him while he sleeps! You're right, though, I need a break too (or else I'd never get a chance to post!). We were with family for a few days and I let my MIL hold Finn whenever she wanted (which was A LOT). It was tough but I did it!

Jennie -- glad to hear you hardly put Rhi down. Makes me feel normal! :LOL

Thanks to both you mamas for letting me know about the EC forum here. I had NO IDEA and was so happy to find it!! Thank you! I missed the meeting this week in West Hartford, but will try to make next month's. Right now we're just doing EC "part-time," mostly in the mornings. It's kinda fun!

Hope all you other mamas are doing well. Finn is 10 weeks old today -- I can't believe it! It's going by far too fast.

Here are my 3 favorite things about being a mother so far:
Making my baby smile.
Breastfeeding him. I LOVE it!
Sleeping with him.

And a fourth favorite -- watching Finn with his Papa. My heart melts...sigh.
Anyone else have favorites besides my obvious ones? I could go on and on and on....
post #23 of 38
Wait a minute, we are normal? :LOL

I gotta agree with your list! I love when Rhi coos and smiles at me first thing in the morning and during her diaper changes. I love snuggling with her on my chest while we snooze. I can't say that I love breastfeeding, I do it b/c its best and easiest but I have never really been one to love it. I wish I could say I love breastfeeding.

I love to see Rhi sleeping on daddys shoulder. And a heart warming moment was when daddy found the perfect hold to calm her down when she is cranky Makes it easier to hand her off knowing he can make her happy. It breaks my heart to hear her cry or fuss at all so this has been a major relief to me!

Rhi is geting so big and chubby already. No more nb diapers for her and she is quikly growing thru the size smalls! She has these fat lil thighs that are making me revamp her diaper stash as serged/ruffly edged diapers tend to rub her raw. Not all serged diapers just some of them :/ Really sucks but it looks like most of her stash is going to be front snapping or turned & topstitch style. I have no pattern for a front snapping diaper and I hate doing T&T lol but I guess I will have to revamp my pattern to accomodate her

Going to post in my support thread...I have a wee bit of a rant that doesn't belong in this thread.
post #24 of 38
Thread Starter 

re: Skid marks/ tears

Jennie -- how wonderful that your dh can soothe Rhi in a special way. That must be very comforting to the 3 of you.

Okay, I'm bringining up skid marks and tears again. Perhaps I should start a separate thread because I'm really starting to get concerned.
I didn't think I tore, but really I have no idea now.

My birth was almost 11 weeks ago and I'm still having "issues" on and off.
I stopped bleeding at 5 weeks, but still haven't felt 100% normal -- meaning sometimes it still burns a little while urinating and sex still burns slightly.

A couple of weeks ago I took a walk (in pants that were still a bit too tight) and it made me bleed externally for a couple of days. I looked in the mirror and I couldn't tell if it was a tear or skid mark, but I did know it's not how I usually look -- there was an area that looks very red and raw (and that was the source of the blood). I took it easy for a couple of days, the bleeding stopped and when I looked in the mirror again, it looked like I was healing.

I stepped up my exercise lately and have run 5 out of the past 7 days. Today when I woke up and went to the bathroom, I noticed I was bleeding again (and this time more than before). I looked in the mirror and I'm red and raw again (tmi, I know).

So whatever it is, a skid mark or tear, it's still not healed. I'm frustrated to realize I'm probably doing too much and I'll definitely back off. But 11 weeks seems like so long to still be dealing with this. What should I do?
post #25 of 38
Kate, when you say that you're bleeding, do you mean still PP menstrating? I bled for way longer than "normal" after both of my babies. You just have to really take it easy, and for god sakes, take off the spandex (just kidding:LOL) 11 weeks PP isn't really that long of a time yet. And it sounds like you have a skid mark (weird word for what it is, though, hey?) Just take it easier (running 5 days out of 7!!! Holy cow! I've never done that in my life. I'm the kid who would always skip phyEd)
post #26 of 38
Thread Starter 
:LOL thanks for your reply, mamajazza. i do think the bleeding was external and it was only there in the morning. i am taking it easy a bit. guess i'm just a bit too anxious to get back into bathing suit shape. *sigh*

we're heading out of town again for a few days, so i'll catch you mamas when i get back.
post #27 of 38

Almost 5 months postpartum now.

Elliott will be 5 months next Tuesday. We had his 4 month well child yesterday. He's 18 lbs, 11 oz! Such a big lovely boy. I adore his fat, chunky thighs and feet. His 6-9 month clothing is already getting too snug, and so I bought a bunch of 2T Hanes undershirts and toddler size 5 socks for him to wear around the house. He is SUCH a cutie. He's rolling and twisting all over the place, and trying to crawl. He's been acting like he wants my food, so I've been giving him a spoon to play with when I eat.

Kate- I'm trying to get in shape too. It's slow going. I think my problem is that I'm just lazy! :LOL I'm really hungry a lot of the time, and the stuff I want is mostly fatty or startchy. I guess I figure it'll have to come off eventually.

As for the bleeding, I wonder, if you had skid marks, is it possible that you're bleeding because, like picking at a scabbed over knee, your menstraul pads are irritating that region? Dunno. I continue to have on again, off again spotting, but now I can blame that on the IUD. I did bleed for what seemed like a long time after Elliott was born. Walking to the park brought on bright red, but then, that was definately not external.
post #28 of 38
Thread Starter 
Laurata -- your description seems right as a scab that keeps getting irritated. Thanks for your feedback.

Whatever it is, it just won't heal! It'll be fine for a couple of days but then something will irritate it. I bled again last Saturday (that's 3 times now) and it's still uncomfortable today. I started soaking again in a bath with some cypress and lavender oils, but I'm wondering if there's more (or less!) I should be doing.

I had my dh look at it (what a guy!) over the weekend and he says it looks like a small flap of skin that's been pinched and rubbed raw : . I'm getting so frustrated that I'm actually thinking of going to see my midwife.

I'm reluctant to go see her because 1.) what can she really do? and 2.) because when I told her I wanted uc she insisted I was underestimating the amount of support she could give me and I feel going to her for this would validate this!

Yet, I'm considering just swallowing my pride and having her look at it. Maybe she has some special tricks or herbs up her sleeve to help me heal.
I'm a strong believer that the body has all the power needed to heal itself...but shouldn't it be better now and not worse? Seriously, it wasn't this bad after birth -- only after I took that damn walk four weeks ago!

What would you mamas do????
post #29 of 38
I had a similar situation here. I just rinsed off and air dried every time I used the restroom. After that, I put on this no-sting liquid spray-on bandage. Not perfect, and it took a long time, but it seemed to do the trick. The area is still is a tiny bit sensitive (not like it use to be), but I guess I'm too stubborn to see a doc about it (for the same reasons as you).
post #30 of 38
Thread Starter 

Oh yeah, THIS is why I left the medical model....

Zamber, thanks for your reply. I'm still not normal down there, but have decided against seeing anyone for it. I figure I'll heal on my own eventually.

Jenniebug -- I've been thinking about you and your family since I heard about the possibility of Groton sub base closing. I'm sure things are crazy for you now. Wishing you peace and sanity.

So...I got bullied into seeing a doctor 2 weeks after Finn was born for birth certificate reasons. Then the dr's office called us when we "missed" his subsequent 2 month appt and my dh said "We didn't miss it, we're all set." We then got a call from the dr personally saying it was CT state law that we had to bring him in or she'd have to report us. So we begrudgingly went again this past Friday. And I really think they're trying to cause trouble!!

The nurse that weighed him claims he only weighed 11 pounds 11 ounces and that he's not on track for height either. Dh and I were shocked to hear this since we weighed him just a week and a half ago and he was over 12 pounds and when we measured him, he'd grown 3 inches since birth.
So, despite the fact that the dr found him "amazingly alert and interested in his surroundings" and "incredibly cooridinated" and "obviously happy and content" she's threatening to put a "failure to thrive" label on him unless he's gained some more weight the next time we see her.

She also said the STUPIDEST things like having him sleeping with us increases the likelihood of SIDS, that I should put him on a more regimented feeding schedule of every 2 hours, and that I should retract his foreskin when bathing him so his erections aren't too uncomfortable.

Well, I guess becoming a mother as alleviated me of the need to be a good patient because I let her know exactly what I thought.
I told her that her weight and growth charts were based on 1950's bottle fed babies and have no validity. I told her there was absolutely NO WAY I was going to schedule his eating and that doing so was an ignorant western way of thinking -- that in some cultures babies eat every 13 minutes or every 24 minutes. And that SIDS is only likely with co-sleeping babies who's parents are drunk or strung out on drugs. I also told her that this was the exact reason I left my ob/gyn with my first pregnancy -- because the medical model was fear based and made me worry needlessly. I told her that Finn is the happiest, most content baby I've ever encountered and I'm not going to do anything to change that.

AND we weighed him as soon as we got home as he's now over 13 pounds on our scale!!!! We know this is accurate because we weighed a 10 pound weight and guess what it weighed? 10 pounds!!! Dh and I believe they're trying to sabatoge us. They know we delivered our baby on our own, that we don't believe in vax, and that we don't want to see the dr -- and I think they feel threatened by all this and are trying to raise red flags.

We first went to see this dr because she didn't push vax (well, not all of them anyway) and she was supposed to be young and open-minded. I couldn't believe all the old-school crap she was spewing! I just can't believe they weighed and measured him so inaccurately. We don't know what else to think besides they're trying to stir up trouble.

We have to go see her next month for another weigh in, but in the meantime I'll be shopping around for a naturopath or something so I can fire her!!! (She said we need to have another doc before we can fire her!)
Uggh! It's left such a bad taste in my mouth....
post #31 of 38
Holy crap, kate! Some people just don't get it, do they? :

Good for you for standing up to them!
post #32 of 38
Kate-- Don't let those docs bully you! Tell them to show you PROOF that it is CT law that babies must see a doc or that you have to have another doc lined up before you can fire them. Call their BS on the table. Rhi has never seen a doc and I am fairly sure if it was "law" V & S would be telling me to have her seen.

There is a yahoogroup called the firendly forest, they are CT mamas and they were just recommending some good peds as well as ND's last week. Join the list or I can go look up who they were recommending for you

As for the base, well I think it's a good thing if it closes. By the time it does close (if it gets closed) it won't effect us as we will be elsewhere. It takes a min of 5-6 yrs to get a base closed down once it's been marked for closure so we aren't worried. Personally tho I think it would be the best thing for this area for it to be closed. Many agree with me and many don't lol

I haven't been posting much over here anymore I miss you guys! One of these days Kate we are going to get together lol
post #33 of 38
Originally Posted by KateSt.
I'm getting so frustrated that I'm actually thinking of going to see my midwife.

I'm reluctant to go see her because 1.) what can she really do? and 2.) because when I told her I wanted uc she insisted I was underestimating the amount of support she could give me and I feel going to her for this would validate this!

Yet, I'm considering just swallowing my pride and having her look at it. Maybe she has some special tricks or herbs up her sleeve to help me heal.
I'm a strong believer that the body has all the power needed to heal itself...but shouldn't it be better now and not worse? Seriously, it wasn't this bad after birth -- only after I took that damn walk four weeks ago!

What would you mamas do????

FIrst off That does NOT sound like fun at all! Ouch! I'm so sorry!

Sorry if this has been posted already, I'm just jumping in, but have you posted over in the MW's and Doula board? They have lots of good information.

Personally, it sounded like you might want to try some of the postpartum bath herb combos that are sold pre-mixed or you can make yourself. You take the herbs and steep them in a big pot of boiling water. Then, cool the water and strain out the herbs (easier if the herbs were tied up in cheesecloth). Then, pour the cooled "tea" into your bath. There are all kinds of healing herbs in there.

You certainly have experimented with what works and what doesn't work for your body right now... running, does not work. You'll run more, it will just take some time.

Seems to me that Postpartum time is for resting and healing. If you don't take the time to rest and be pampered up front, you pay for it with longer healing time. Can you just put on a nightgown and hang up an "Off Duty" sign until you're healed? R&R sounds like a good step.

FreeRangeMama -- What a beautiful birth story!!! Thank you for sharing it. It was just magical! Welcome Zoyya!

Jenniebug -- I'm so impressed that you know how to sew your own diapers!!! How cool! I don't quite get the sub base closing... is that a job related issue or a health related issue? Either way, sending you stressfree peaceful vibes.

KateSt. -- are there other Drs. in your area? Not just Peds but GPs? If so, go somewhere else. I think this is dangerous for you to continuing taking Finn there. And, most likely unnescesary. I doubt there is really a law about that. Can you cancel your appt and if they call back just say that you've found a more supportive practice to help monitor the health of your baby. Of course, that other practice is you and your DH! :LOL

My update: I've found some good medication to help with Hyperemesis G. It's not great though. I'm 12 weeks. I'm still losing weight. I'm still vomiting 3-5 times per day sometimes more. I'm unable to eat. AND, on top of all this, I get my prescription by going to an OB!!! OMG! I've never gone to an OB in my whole life!!! The couple times I saw him, I've been so out of it I didn't ask any questions. And, neither did my husband. (He's a good medical lemming, FYI) NOW, that I'm coherent, I have SOOOO many questions to ask him. Ug... if he'll listen and answer!

Also, I called the MW we used for my other births. My DH was getting nervous about not calling her yet. I called her but on my terms. I told her I'd like to consider setting up an appt in July. But, that I didn't need anything right now. We talked homeopathics for HG and just chatted. I explained my hesitation to call her in the first place -- that I didn't want a MW. I'm not sure how this will all unfold. I want to make sure my husband is feeling that we are getting care and yet that my needs are being met. I feel ok about having a few Prenatal appts. As far as birth goes, I'm wondering what the most un-UC I would be willing to go. Perhaps MW in the car? REally though, I want to be just alone with perhaps my DH. I'm trying to sort out wants vs needs and avoid the botched UC from last time (my DH called the MW AND before labor began I was not very direct or firm about NOT wanting her to be called. I've learned to ask specifically for what I need.). Hmpf. I definately learned that I need to be clearer with the MW as to what I want and need.

Edited to add: I thought this was the pregnant roll call. I need to read clearer! Off to cross post my update there. But, golly, you all are so cool over here. Do I get to hang out in both groups!?!?
post #34 of 38
Originally Posted by Arora The Explorer

Jenniebug -- I'm so impressed that you know how to sew your own diapers!!! How cool! I don't quite get the sub base closing... is that a job related issue or a health related issue? Either way, sending you stressfree peaceful vibes.
The subbase (or rather the united states submarine base in new london) is job related. DH is navy, most of this town is navy. Its often been referred to as the armpit of CT :LOL Well because its a dirty little town with nothing to offer except the jobs the subbase provides. Which is what the locals are worried about, job loss. They fail to see what good it would do the economy and town itself. Not to mention they are in the process of building a "utopia", a major theme park and movie studio. Nascar is also building the first ever enclosed domed track. Both of these will bring in more jobs than the subbase currently offers for civilians.

But it doesn't really effect our family since we are scheduled to leave this base in aug 06. The base won't be closed til 2010 at the earliest.
post #35 of 38
Kate, good for you for telling that doctor all that stuff! I would absolutely not go back to her again. Just keep rescheduling appointments until you find another doctor. I do think it is important for you to have a doctor who can go on the record saying that Finn is healthy, in case this crazy woman calls CPS out of spite. And then, I would write a letter to her, her medical group (whoever employs her,) and to the state licensing board about the misinformation she gave you, and her coercive tactics.

Kate wrote, "For example, I don't want to use a breast pump or feed my baby from a bottle -- it just doesn't feel right to me. But it's becoming clear if I don't do that, I'll never get more than 10 minutes to myself."

LOL, that's probably a little bit of an exaggeration, no? They do grow up, after all. And if you've given them a secure base, they will eventually initiate separation from you themselves. You've read Magical Child?

I don't think a bottle or pacifier is necessarily going to cause trouble, but I don't think they're necessary at some point, either, in order for mom to get some time to yourself. For one thing, the older Finn gets, the longer he'll be able to go between feedings. And the more time he spends with others (as he's comfortable with it) the longer you'll be able to separate from him without it creating feelings of abandonment.

I never felt "right" about introducing a bottle or pacifier either -- it wasn't about parenting dogma, it was a gut feeling. Same with having other people hold the baby. But I had to put up some serious boundaries with other people so that I could be clear on whether what I was feeling was a reaction to their judgements and opinions, or really what me and the baby needed. Once I was able to do that (and the babymoon helped immensely with that) everything fell into place.

This is the first time I've introduced baby food -- before I waited to do solids until they could eat real food. But Rowan has been so demanding, and what we are eating often doesn't agree with her stomach. So I've been buying little jars of baby food. A nice thing about that, too, is that if she becomes hungry while I'm gone, Scott can easily take care of it without us having to go to the trouble of doing EBM with bottles. We started that at about five months (I think the AAP is now recommending six?) though and I realize Finn might not be ready for that.

I've always felt very strongly about not letting other people hold the baby unless the baby was clearly into it. Generally, Rowan isn't, her instinct is to not have anything to do with strangers and I don't want to give her the message that I am not going to honor what her body and instincts are telling her, or that she should learn to ignore them. She has always been absolutely fine with my oldest son, we're homeschooling so he's been around full-time from the beginning, and unless she needs to eat she is happy to be held by him. (We've got numerous darling pictures of him rocking her to sleep.) It's taken a little longer for her to bond with my husband as he's gone for most of the day, but when he's here he holds her for as long as she's comfortable with it, and slowly (probably as her memory has improved) she's become comfortable spending longer and longer amounts of time with him as primary care-giver. There are a few other people she is usually okay with, I think because she senses how gentle and loving they are. One woman in our homeschooling group is very soft-spoken and gentle and sweet, and Rowan just absolutely loves her. Once we were all sitting on a big blanket and Rowan crawled over and put her head in her lap. But other people -- like those with a less "mothering" and more nervous energy, she leans away and gets a concerned look on her face. Those are always the people, ironically, who try to tell me that if I don't force her to be held by strangers against her will, she will always be scared of people. I'm like, um, so how do you explain my other extremely social children? :LOL

Okay, I'm starting to ramble now. But my point is, don't worry -- if you're following baby's cues, and allowing yourself to be in the moment rather than worrying about the future, everything really will work out fine.
post #36 of 38
Thread Starter 
Well, I know it's June and this thread has expired :LOL but wanted to give a quick update. THANKS so much, mamas, for the support regarding our horrible doctor. I'm writing a letter this week firing her and asking for Finn's records -- I hope they don't give us a hard time about it. I'm if correct, I believe they're obligated to give us his chart (I just wonder if they'll give us the original or a copy?).

Fourlittlebirds -- Loved your post (as usual) and found it very validating. I'm just going to listen to my heart and intuition when it comes to raising my boy. It worked out perfectly for his birth, I don't imagine it will fail me now.
I just can't believe how many battles I've already had to fight because the way I parent isn't the norm. Many more battles that I've ever had to in such a short amount of time! It's definitely making me stronger!

Update on my tear/skidmark/whatever. I've really damaged myself. Memorial day we took a walk in the woods and then a walk later on through town -- and to that 4 long car rides and cross-legged sitting...
I've NEVER been so sore down there. The last time I looked was a week and a half ago and it's gotten so much worse since then that I don't dare look anymore. The only way I'm not sore is lying down. I finally broke down and called my mw. I'll see her on Thursday...and I just pray I don't need stitches! Really, I wasn't this sore directly after Finn was born.
I'm afraid I'll be on bedrest and that' just going to drive me nuts in the middle of summer!

Oh well, what can you do?

Miss you mamas! Mamajazza, Jenniebug, Lizzie, and Linda.
I'd start a June thread, but I monopolized this thread so much I should have just called it the KateChat. :LOL

Hope all you mamas are doing well and loving your babes.
post #37 of 38
Kate! Update us on what the mw say about your poor yoni

I've been scooting around mdc branching out ino other forums. My crunchy hippie side is really taking me over :LOL

Kate girl we have got to meet up sometime! My 2 oldest boys are gone for the summer so I have much more free time now.
post #38 of 38
Thread Starter 
Jennie -- thanks for checking up on me!

Turns out I did tear slightly when Finn was born. I was healing nicely until I started running... : : S sealed me up with some silver nitrate -- not fun but it definitely did the trick! I feel 90% better! I don't think I'll be running for awhile, though....

Yes! let's get together! PM me anytime. My schedule is basically wide open.

Love to you other mamas.
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