Waking up is hard to do...

[Electra375]

I just did the one of the hardest things I've ever decided to do, or at least it feels that way...

My ds who is 6 sleeps in a high loft bed. I went in this morning at 7:28am and told him it was time to wake up. He moved around. I went back to bed to nurse my 1 yr old. At 8:07am I went back to his room and told him again to get up, he moved around again. I climbed the ladder and made sure he was awake. I went into my office to check my e-mail etc. I went back into his room at 8:12am, still not up. I again told him to get a move on it, he moved around. At 8:24am I heard the bus roll by. I went and shut his door. I decided that when he did wake up that he would be told his fate of the day.

At 8:40 he woke-up and came down the ladder, he went to the bathroom and then I told him...

Today is your in bed day. You couldn't get up when you needed to and the bus has already come by. I am not taking you to school late. You are going to spend the day in bed, no playing, no getting up except to go to the bathroom. You need to learn that you need to do what mommy ask you to do when I ask you.

We went up to his bed in tears.

Now I have to hold to this all day!!! At some point I will need to bring him food and drink. I haven't decided what to bring him or when for breakfast yet, but lunch will be his lunch box in bed.

I will more than likely let him up at 3:45 when the bus comes home from school. I'm afraid if I make him stay in bed "all" day he won't go to sleep tonight and the problem will start all over again tomorrow.

This time change has really been hard on me. I really don't like it and I understand now why my mother hates it. I did get ds1 to bed by 9:00 EDT, but I don't think he went to sleep for a long while. My dd usually goes to bed around 11:00 EST lately, so I was up past midnight on EDT. And Sunday night I was up past 2:00am.

I hate having ds1 home from school, they had the past 2 Monday's off and he will be missing some school next week for dental stuff. I see his grades suffering from his lack of attention or lack of consistancy, or some of both. In addition, he and his brother push each other's buttons to the point I just want to scream.

I refuse to take him late to school b/c the school has a tardy policy that is stupid to put it nicely. If your child is late to school 4 times, it is an automatic detention, no excused tardies. I didn't know this until he received a detention notice in January. He had been late this 4th time b/c I was up all night with his brother and sister crying and not feeling well and at 5:30am I crashed to the bed. I took him to school when I finally managed to get myself together. I also had thought it was a good thing to have a doctor's appt or what have you at 8:30am and arrive to school just a little after 9:00am. Apparently, it is better to not attend school at all! Absences that are excused result in no punishment and excused is just a confirmation with the parent that the child is known to be absent. But to be tardy results in detention in the office until 4:30PM. The only option is to send you child to school have them present for attendance and then sign them out -- no absence and no tardy. : I know a woman who said she did this regularly, signed her children out for family time!!!

My dh will be angry with me when he gets home from work today. He doesn't agree with him missing school. I don't know if I told him about the tardy issue.

How will I get through the day knowing my baby is upset about missing school? I'm feeling guilty already. Guilty for not being more demanding, thinking I could have done something to get him out of bed, guilty for not taking him to school anyhow, etc.

Taking him to school is an ordeal to begin with, wake the baby, change her, put her down to cry. Wake the almost 3 yr old, change him, carry him out to van, come back for crying dd, put her in the van hoping she has stopped crying, yell at ds1 to get a move on it, get him in the van and find out that ds1 would be late anyway...

[cmb123]

You have a hard time with the time change, but you expect a 6 year old to not only understand it, but drag his sleeping body out of sleep and because he failed to do so, he is now being punished? I don't get it.

Being the mother of 3 little ones is hard. I know, I'm the single mother of 3. You know what..yesterday was the first time EVER in 9 years of being a parent, that I actually had to wake my kids up (they are usually up at an ungodly hour). The one stupid hour makes a huge difference!

I'm sorry I'm not being sympathetic, but I just think that it's highly unfair for him to be punished so...come on really, PUNISHED for SLEEPING!

If you are having second thoughts, please, don't stick to this out of principal. Instead go to him and appologize. Tell him you're tired to, and tired people do strange things sometimes. Enjoy the rest of the day with him, don't spend it doing this.

[4evermom]

Do you think you could ease him in to be responsible for getting himself up (buy him a nifty alarm clock, have him decide how much time he needs to get ready for school, help him set it correctly). That school policy sounds crazy. Maybe you could write a letter to whichever school official pointing out that tardiness from an appointment is different from being late. Also point out that their policy encourages excused absenses, the child missing a whole day rather than part (tho they probably don't really care because late kids are a disruption and absent ones aren't). I know they are punishing the kids to get the parents to "behave" and that is so unfair.

[alegna]

Wow. That sounds like a harsh punishment for a 6! year old for sleeping. I understand how difficult it makes your life- but it doesn't seem like a good message to be sending. If nothing else you're sending the message that it is more important to do what an adult says (get up) than to listen to your own body (which says sleep) I've always thought that listening to our bodies is something that far too few people do anyway (over-eat, under sleep etc)

Just my $.02

-Angela

[Electra375]

I guess I should have said this isn't a new issue for him. I have to say the time change is only part responsible. This is just the first day I've done anything about it.

The natural consequence of not getting up on time for school should not be, I get to have fun at home playing outside, in my room, watching TV etc. I want to send a message of home is not fun during school hours.

I went up to the school and got some of his work that he is missing today. After lunch, I told him he can get up and get dressed to do his school work.

So yes, I'm sticking to home is not fun until 3:45PM when his friends come off the bus, if his school work is complete.

Sorry if that sounds to harsh, but really staying in one's room is fun, so the only unfun place to be is in bed when you aren't sick.

[SagMom]

If he was too tired (sleepy/groggy, whatever) to drag himself out of bed on time, then I think THAT needs to be addressed if you want him to get up tomorrow or any other day. I doubt that he'll be thinking of how sad and bored he was today when he's sleeping tomorrow morning. From what you've written, it sounds like he's being punished for something he can't control.

I'd make sure he was getting to bed early enough so that he's getting enough sleep, and then, in the a.m., stay with him until he's out of bed, or at least go in to his room as many times as it takes until he IS up and moving.

I agree with cmb123, there's no reason you "have" to stick to your punishment--it's perfectly okay to go to him and explain you were upset, or whatever and that you need to work on a way to get him up on time, but that you've revolking the punishment.

As for the school's policy--definately address it with the principal. Are the detentions after school or during recess? I'd make it clear that my child would NOT be serving detentions for being late--they can't force him to after school.

The "natural" consequence of not getting up on time is either, having to rush around to get to school, or being late for school. Spending the day in bed is pretty contrived, and, I agree, harsh. He's still young, and obviously still needs help getting going in the morning.

[nichole]

would he sleep through an alarm or loud music?

[Electra375]

Everything went well this morning. I asked him to get up and get ready for school. He climbed out of bed and got dressed.

As for the alarm clock issue, we've thought about it. There isn't a place to put one in his room at the moment except on the floor. He is in a loft bed, so there isn't a place for it up there except on the mattress and I do not like putting electronics on mattresses or other materials. A student I taught had her entire house go up in flames b/c a laptop's heat caught the couch on fire. The poor girl was a freshman at the time and the family lost everything.

He wouldn't wake up to music and if it is on alarm, I'd have to go in and turn it off. And I'm not in the habit of interupting my daughter nursing in the morning. I like my younger ones asleep until I get dressed and get the oldest one out the door. And yes this is for selfish me time for like 20 to 30 minutes in the morning.

Maybe my dh could put up a small shelf by the foot of his bed on the wall for an alarm clock. But until he gets our masterbathroom back together, I'm not asking for a thing!!! Our bathroom has been completely gutted since late August!!!

School is only a short few more months. I'm hopeful that I can work up a solution before this coming August (and that I have a bathroom again.)

[4evermom]

You wouldn't actually have to turn the alarm off yourself if it were on the floor. That would defeat the purpose. Theoretically, ds would climb down from the loft to turn it off. You might have to close the door to his room, however.

[Denny]

Just a thought

I remember vividly being this age and having to drag myself out of bed, it was very hard to wake up. The problem was I was iron defficient. The taste of the iron medicine makes the memory all to clear .




Denny

[amydidit]

I can see I'm in the minority here, but I think what you did was fine... I've had similar problems with my DD (now 8) and we had to do nearly the same thing... it was the only thing that ended up getting her going in the morning.