Our young family is attending wedding at a military base...

[bonbon mama]

My husband's brother is career-military, the bride's family is career-military, the wedding is taking place on a military base, and a lot of the bridal party will be military. We are a young family (5 yo dd, 2 yo ds) on just this side of pacifism as conscientious objectors. What are we in for? My mother thinks that there will be swords drawn for a ceremony...will there be guns present, also? Also, what can we expect to see on a military base while we are there on a Saturday, all day. Help me to prepare, please. I am concerned that my children not be frightened or even have a vague sense of danger. My dd is already leary of soldiers because she knows they are paid to do a leader's bidding, good or bad. She is sensitive to soldiers in stories, always questioning whether the soldiers had a choice..no, we don't watch t.v. or read war dramas--this is just from a few bible and fairy tale stories.

[moondiapers]

Expect a pretty normal wedding with lots of uniforms, and depending on what the bride wants and the branch of the military they may walk out of the church under a tunnel of drawn swords, the very last soldier smacking the bride on the rear with his sword. These swords are decorative and only worn with dress uniforms, they are never used in battle, they are strictly ceremonial. There shouldn't be any guns unless it's a shotgun wedding, j/k.


-Heather

[Mothra]

Exactly what moondiapers said. The swords will be no more intimidating than what you might see at a Renaissance festival. They are ceremonial. The uniforms that would be worn to a wedding would be worn even if the ceremony was off base and they are formal uniforms, not combat dress.

What you see on a military base depends greatly on what type of base you visit. If you were visiting the military base I live on, you'd see lots of planes, palm trees, restaurants, and a beautiful beach. The one in Tucson had lots of planes, palm trees, a golf course, and desert landscaping. Most of the base is probably housing and it will look like any working class neighborhood. The only guns I ever see are the ones on the Security Police.

[bonbon mama]

Thanks for the thoughtful, knowledgeable replies. I guess I have seen too many movies with people in fatigues with weapons riding around in open jeeps. If there are only ceremonial swords, then I can explain those to dd and ds and they should be okay with them in a costume respect as they enjoy the nutcracker ballet, obsessively. That is bizarre about getting gently slapped on the behind with a sword. I hope she opts out of that one!

This is an army base in Washington State--Ft Lewis. So, do you think that I am correct in assuming from your replies that I will be in a very civilian sort of area? Nothing too different from a typical neighborhood? Are the practice or training areas usually far removed from where the chapel and party center would be? Thanks in advance.

[moondiapers]

I've never been to that base, it really depends on where the chapel is on the base. Generally when they are working outside they will be wearing BDUs (camouflage) work clothes. So if you drive by an air strip you might see mechanics and airfield personel. There will be armed gaurds at the entrance to the base checking your identification against the list that the bride and groom left with them. They won't be pointing guns at you, in my experience they are usually slung haphazzardly accross their backs on a strap if they are even wearing them at all. It depends on the security level needed at the time. These young men or women will act polite, call you ma'am and sir. They will probably tell you what route to follow to get to where you are going. I think the only time I've seen guns on military personel other than at the gate or on the MPs is when they were practicing for a parade (where they spin and toss them like the rifle team in highschool marching bands). I don't know if that will be happening on a weekend though. It really is just a small town behind a gate with it's own suburbs. Aside from the gaurds at the gate the other things I've described to you aren't even gauranteed to happen. It's been years since I was a military brat, BUT the bases we were on were usually pretty dead on the weekends unless there was some sort of big event, like an air show.


HTH
Heather

[girlndocs]

Hi,

I live not too far from Fort Lewis and I've been on it. There is a lot of native (scotchbroom and Douglas fir) vegetation, many chainlink and/or barbwire fences, but mostly what I've seen of it looks like a cross between a kind of depressing college campus and an industrial-park complex. I'd expect they'd hold a wedding & reception in the more "civilized" parts of the base, so it may look like a town (housing) or office buildings.

When I attended my brother's retirement ceremony in the Whidbey Island naval base, the building we were in looked a lot like a big, old YMCA.

I agree with Moondiapers, it's likely to look pretty abandoned, and MP's are trained to make nice to the civilians :LOL

[Marisol]

The arch-of-swords thing is mostly a Marine wedding tradition, so it might end up being a non-issue for the wedding you are going to.

I agree with moondiapers that the only armed person you are likely to see is the guard who checks your ID, and their rifle will be properly slung behind them, not pointed at you.

Also, on a Saturday, most of the soldiers have the weekend off -- just like "normal" people -- so you will likely see very little activity in the way of uniformed soldiers and military vehicles.

If any of the soldiers attending the wedding are cavalry, they have the option to wear decorative spurs on their boots.

Other than that, military installations in general are pretty boring and definitely nothing like the movies make them out to be.

[EmmaJean]

About the armed guards--the places I've been lately have had civilian contracted security checkers, and they normally don't have weapons. But when you go on to Walter Reed, the guy has a big, scary gun in hand.... Not sure if it was just that day or what, but I've never seend that before, and I've been in the military my whole life! We were all intimidated, but I guess that's the point.

I'm sure you've been to the wedding already, but I just wanted to add that most places also have "retired" tanks, planes, helicopters, etc. somewhere on the post. It totally depends on the place, but I've never been somewhere that didn't have at least one. So it might be something that needs to be explained when you drive by and see a tank in front of a building! But if you go up close, they are usually painted "decoratively" so you can show her that it's somewhat fake and not a threat.

And from my experience, if the only thing someone knows about the military is from the movies and tv, then they're ideas are usually pretty exaggerated. Kind of like when Europeans see "90210" and think that all Americans are like Jason and Kelly.

Good luck and let us know how it goes!

Emily--Army "brat" and wife

[crunchyconmomma]

Marisol and Girlndocs are right - I used to be stationed on that base. Don't flame - I was in the Army when I was younger and have since come very much full circle to a place of teaching my kids (that were only even a twinkle in my eye when I got out) the same way you are - pacifism and love of all people, (regardless of politics).

BUT since I didn't have those views several years ago, I can tell you from experience that Ft Lewis on the weekends is dull. Don't fear kids seeing anything traumatic. They will see a few "monument" tanks and things on the way to the chapel, several people in BDU's (Army fatigues) and maybe weapons on the MP's at the main gate. FWIW, those are handguns in holsters and not as scary as M-16's (guns, yes, but the scary factor seems even more important to kids taught that guns are only used for wrong).

Other than that, the risk of anything violent is the same as being at the grocery store where a freak incident could happen - some crazed whacko comes in to rob it with a gun and the police have to come with their guns. All the training areas are out of site from where you will be going, which is in the main gate and off past the exchange and the Burger King to the post main chapel. And Saturdays are days off for all but duty people - those that HAVE to be there, like the gate guards or hospital personnel. Most of what you will drive by and see does look like any old town in America, just with more people in uniforms - camouflage with black boots. Even if you get mixed up and go in a wrong gate, you'll pass the hospital where I used to work and some barracks and other ugly buildings and not much else.

The ceremony will have many people in dress uniforms - no weaponry for that. It will appear much like a civilian wedding, but with "Army-ness" around, like the uniforms and flags and stuff in the chapel that aren't familiar to you.

I don't envy you - I would have a very hard time deciding to take my kids to that wedding b/c of all the questions and the difficulty in being diplomatic about the fact that we love all people, even those who choose to do something for a living that we are against.

Good luck!

[Moss's Mommy]

sounds like an awful place to get married.