or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Natural Living › The Mindful Home › Frugality & Finances › SAHM... do you get an allowance?
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

SAHM... do you get an allowance? - Page 2

post #21 of 117
Quote:
Originally Posted by RaggedyAnn
No allowance here, I handle all the finances. We both have access to the checking account. It is usually me who tells him if we are getting low on funds. He never questions what I buy or how much I spend as long as the bills are getting paid he is happy.
Ditto.
post #22 of 117
We have joint bank accounts, credit cards, etc. I spend whatever I want (within our means.) We are partners. I would be beyond angry if my husband treated me like that.
post #23 of 117
Well, I would never call it an allowance, but every two weeks when he gets paid I get $300 for groceries, household stuff, and whatever I want. I also have a debit and credit card.
post #24 of 117
Annette, does your dh know you go to rummage sales and confront old ladies?
post #25 of 117
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mom4tot
Annette, does your dh know you go to rummage sales and confront old ladies?
He dropped me off and came back to look for pants later!
post #26 of 117
I wouldn't call it an allowance but both dh & I get $10 - $15 cash each week that is for odds and ends like a chai, skate rental, a snack whatever! I sometimes try and save half or my money for something fun, like before we went to Disney World I was saving at least half to put in the "fund".

All other things are paid for by check or debt card.
post #27 of 117
My answer.... become single then all the money is yours. Best decision of my life. I think it is really sad that you have to ask a million times and have to deal with eyerolling behavior for some spending money and even using the word *allowance* is putting yourself in a position of being below your DH in the financial ladder.

If it were me, I would take the reigns and make sure that I had money. But I need to have the control of most everything in my life... which is why singlehood is best suited for me.
post #28 of 117
[QUOTE=~*max*~]
Quote:
Originally Posted by wolfmama
Maybe I am overly caught up in semantics, but the idea of a allowance for an equal partner in a relationship bugs me. Can you call it something else? Please? (QUOTE)

Yes, even the title set my teeth to grinding. Mama, you gotta work something out so you are not needing to beg for money!
Think we're like a lot of the pp. I take care of all the finances. We have 2 joint checking/savings accounts, a few joint credit cards, and then one each of our own cards. We discuss major purchases. Since I do all the money stuff, I give dh an estimate of what we have leftover at the end of each pay period. Since he knows that I'm dealing with the bills, he lets me know if he's gotta purchase something over, say $10. Most of the time he doesn't even do that though...we keep all our receipts, so he just gives them to me.

I think our situation is the best we can do for handling the finances together. Dh works hard and doesn't want to deal with the bills when he's off. He's not at my mercy and I'm not at his. Just the thought of that makes me cringe. BTDT. You shouldn't have to beg your dh for money. If you both agree that he's in charge that's one thing but it sounds like that's not the case. Talk to him mama!
post #29 of 117
To me, an allowance is a tool that parents use to teach their children how to responsibly use money in a safe environment.

Budgeting is more the word I would use for husband/wife. Because unexpected expenses can blindside you, I firmly believe that both husband and wife need to sit down and review the finances together regularly and make decisions together. Its dangerous IMO to have just one person in charge of the finances and the other just blindly thinking everything is going to work out
post #30 of 117
No allowance here.
post #31 of 117
We're another family where I take care of the bills, etc and he brings home the paychecks, LOL. Neither one of us gets an "allowance", but if $ is tight, I'll let him know that we have X about of $ and that *we* have to watch what we spend.

I would never put up with asking my husband for money the way I had to with my parents when I was a kid. If dh started acting like that, I would make him ask me a million times for clean undies and I'd roll my eyes at him and tell him when I got around to it. Make him get off his butt and do it himself.
post #32 of 117
:

Quote:
Originally Posted by wemoon
My answer.... become single then all the money is yours. Best decision of my life. I think it is really sad that you have to ask a million times and have to deal with eyerolling behavior for some spending money and even using the word *allowance* is putting yourself in a position of being below your DH in the financial ladder.

If it were me, I would take the reigns and make sure that I had money. But I need to have the control of most everything in my life... which is why singlehood is best suited for me.
Yeah that.
post #33 of 117
I completely agree with Kiwi. It's not an allowance but a budget. If I don't have a set amount to spend each 2 weeks I always seem to underestimate how much I'll spend. Before establishing our current system (I get 300 on the 1st and 16th) I always spent more than I planned and caused problems (my dh is the kind to budget to the last penny, drives me crazy, no wiggle room). We'd bounce checks and so on.

I primarily use my cc for all purchases and we pay it off every month. We discuss any special needs and plan for them. Right now my budget only pays for the basics, not alot left over for the extras (gas, groceries, toiletries, hair appts, co-pays and so on). It's not always enough but it's slowly increasing however our first priority is to pay off our bills and get out of debt. I can wait to increase my budget.
post #34 of 117
Not sure if I'd concider 'my' $ an allowance...

Dh makes the money in our family. We budget for everything!

I, and dh, use prepaid grocery and gas cards. Dh, or I, add $ to each card as our budget allows (usually more than enough is on the cards and we save $.03/gal on gas using pre-paid cards.)

Dh's income fluctuates (self-employed), so a certain % of each pay period goes into my checking, dh's checking, household checking, and savings.

My checking account gets a larger % of $ than dh's...I pay for kids' stuff.

Household checking gets the highest %, usually, for all bills, house and vehicle maintenance, school tuition, health care, & pet care.

Credit cards are paid off monthly, and we each carry our own, so we use our own accounts to pay cc bills.

What dh & I do may seem like extra work, upfront, but it's consitent, tried and true, and we both agree on it.
post #35 of 117
My Dh used to do the same thing- adding in the adage, "Don't spend it all in one place." if he gave me anything over $1. When he was working at a good job I got about $50 per month for whatever. he called it my "mad money". We have a different system in place now since our income is much lower and I handle the budget.
post #36 of 117
Quote:
Okay, my dh doesn't give or leave me any money unless I ask for it a thousand times. Then he rolls his eyes if it's for something personal for ME and not for the household. I do get grocery money, obviously... but I shouldn't take from the grocery money for my own needs. So, I'm going to sit the "boss (LOL)" down and ask for a "raise (again, LOL)".

Do you get an allowance?
How much?
What is that money for?

How does it work in your family??
The word allowance really bugs me.

Having to ask for money a thousand times is worse. Do you get the money when you ask that many times?

Rolling his eyes are you.

He does realize you are not a child right? He is treating you like you are one. You shouldn't have to ask for a raise if it is within your financial means to purchase something. Does your dh ask you if he wants to buy something personal?

I do not get an allowance. I am in charge of our finances. Dh knows nothing about ours, he doesn't even know the bank account number. Neither of us gets an allowance. I spend $300 twice a month on groceries and often that includes personal stuff if I am under my $300 budget. Dh will ask me if we have enough money for beer or video games. If we don't I tell him so. I opened up a savings account without him knowing that I did. We have never had one before and I know we needed one. I did tell him about it after I opened it. The first thing I do when dh gets paid is put money in that account. It's not a large savings account, I put 5% of the money that goes into our account into it. Dh doesn't care because he knows my educational background is in accounting, he knows I run a tight budget to try and pay down debt and get that savings account started so we can possibly pay for Xmas without freaking out about having no money, or a vacation, or more RRSP's.

I make all the decisions because if I didn't nobody else would and we would not have anything paid off, down or the savings account(which we used most of last week for new tires).

When dh asks about the money it is to see if we have enough for beer. The only times i tell him no is when we don't have the money for it.

We do not keep cash on hand. If we have cash, we spend it. We only use our debit cards. Right now I have been saving money in a teapot on the top of my cupboards from doing income tax and some babysitting to pay for the girls playschool. I have the money up high enough that in order to get it I have to get a chair. It's too much work.lol

The bad thing with credit cards is I don't need mine, I have the number memorized from using it online so much.
post #37 of 117
The word "allowance" bothers me A LOT too. Gives me an impression that the partners are not equal.

In our household, DH makes the money and I care for the home including finances and budget.

DH is absolutely fine with it because he does not have the time or patience to do budget, pay bills and balance the check book. Actually, he does not even know how much money we have at the account or how much we spent because he just does not care. Whenever one of us needs to get something personal, we see if there is room in the budget for that

I like numbers so I am happy taking care of this part of the work. I am actually enjoying doing taxes right now as well :LOL
post #38 of 117
I would like an allowance. It's important to me that I have discretionary funds and not have to ask every time I want to go out for coffee. I figure I will just ask dh for a percentage of his check and then budget it for things I want.

He pays most of the bills. The health plans and one credit card are what I pay for. We have separate checking accts because I don't agree with the way he handles his. I like to write down purchases immediately; he likes to go through his wallet-full of recepits at the end of every month and then make sure he still has a positive balance. When I was younger I got into overdrawn accounts and bounced checks really bad. I was $500 in the hole and I was not able to get a checking acct until I paid it off, so I don't want to risk going down that road again.

But I haven't asked for this since he hasn't started a full-time job yet. I figure that while he is subbing and we are trying to move isn't the best time to ask for discretionary money.

For those who do get an allowance, what proportion of the check is it? I was thinking of asking for 10% plus groceries.
post #39 of 117
I am in charge of finances, so DH gets the "allowance/spending money/pin money", and he just got a raise this week so he is a happy man, LOL.

We have a joint checking account and debit cards, but I have them as DH is a total spend freak. I keep everything (sometimes hidden) and I even check the account online every few days as he's been known to make counter withdrawals and "forget" to tell me. In case any of you think I'm "mean" - last time he had the debit card for ONE day (only because he misplaced his work-issued gas card and needed gas) he used it EIGHT times. 'Nuf said.

We do have a budget. I don't really "need" much, if I do need something I get it, but I don't spend much and DH knows it - I am super frugal. Most things I need for myself I will trade for - like scrapbooking supplies - or get at the thrift store, although I am considering some yoga classes . . .
post #40 of 117
Quote:
Originally Posted by Greaseball
For those who do get an allowance, what proportion of the check is it? I was thinking of asking for 10% plus groceries.
Per pay period:

60% - household checking
15% - my checking
10% - dh 's checking
5% - our savings
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Frugality & Finances
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Natural Living › The Mindful Home › Frugality & Finances › SAHM... do you get an allowance?