Originally Posted by TiredX2
I guess we just have no negative connotations w/the word "allowance." Would we be getting the same reaction to "do you spend money on yourself?" or the like?
I do think that most/many on this thread (myself included) have an issue with the word allowance having the connotation with a lack of power. You give (allow) your child to have some money to spend - their allowance. I think that even though we are respectful about it, the word allowance - when used for kids' spending money - is just easier to accept.
If you exchange the word allowance for mad money or spending money or what have you, and both spouses/partners get this amount regardless of who actually has their name on the paycheck, then I think that is fine.
But the OP's situation sounds like he makes the money, he controls the money, she has to beg for any to spend how she likes. That is not right and that is what people are getting passionate about - that she is not in an equal partnership in regards to finances.
Have we run her off? I am hoping that the OP has resolved this problem. Are you there?? People are passionate because we want you to have some control of the family finances without having to beg - that is only right. I hope you are taking this as support for you, not attacks.