Someone tell my dh this is normal

[mamalisa]

Dh is totally freaked out. Ds, 4, has just started going into his room and closing the door, getting naked and playing with himself. Occasionally he will go into his tent and do the same. Dh found him like this the other day and made a big deal out of it, telling him to get dressed. When ds responded that he needed "privacy please" dh gave him grief. Since most of the time he does this when it's just us, I leave the room and let him be. Dh finds it "freaky" that he is "doing that", I say totally normal, perfectly acceptable. Especially since he's going into his room to be alone without even being asked to.

Can I get some support here?

[hvl25]

i would rather him do it in private than on the couch watching tv.........LOL or in front of company

[bri276]

I don't even have kids, but I know it's normal. And what's not normal is to freak them out about it and make them feel ashamed, because it can affect their future sexual life.

[alegna]

Absolutely normal. And very mature and considerate to seek privacy too Would DH rather he whip it out at the grocery store? :LOL

-Angela

[moonshine]

DD, only 3, has been stuffing things in her underpants. It is usually DH who finds her in these situations. Tonight it was a baby brush and a piece of foam. : Who knows what the girl is thinking. As long as she doesn't stick anything inside, I guess. Clearly some body curiosity going on! And somehow she knows to do this behind closed doors.

Dh isn't trying to shame her into not doing it, but I do know it makes him uncomfortable. But he is trying to be cool. I do believe that he does consider it normal (although sticking a brush in your underpants is rather weird, if you ask me! :LOL )

[oceanbaby]

Absolutely normal. And very mature and considerate to seek privacy too

That's what I was going to say. I only wish my ds would want some privacy!

[whatever]

That sounds very mature to me. Your ds I mean, not the dh ;-).

My son has a private visit with himself every week or so...he is 5.

[LunaMom]

Of course it is normal, as long as it isn't excessive, meaning that it is interfering with his normal activities.

Your dh, like so many other adults, is probably just really uncomfortable with the idea that children have sexual feelings. Try talking to him about it, maybe showing him a book or two ("From Diapers to Dating" by Deborah Haffner is one of my faves), and explaining that it isn't sex in the adult sense, but simply biology - he has discovered that touching himself feels nice. And, of course, that he should be taught about privacy but should not be shamed.

My dh had a hard time with the same thing when DD started doing these sorts of things, but he learned to tolerate it and not make it into an issue.

Good luck!

[mamalisa]

Originally Posted by LunaMom

Of course it is normal, as long as it isn't excessive, meaning that it is interfering with his normal activities.

Your dh, like so many other adults, is probably just really uncomfortable with the idea that children have sexual feelings. Try talking to him about it, maybe showing him a book or two ("From Diapers to Dating" by Deborah Haffner is one of my faves), and explaining that it isn't sex in the adult sense, but simply biology - he has discovered that touching himself feels nice. And, of course, that he should be taught about privacy but should not be shamed. Good luck!

This is exactly what I told him. I think he was viewing it as sexual, not just "wow, that feels nice". I think he was just more shocked than anything. Thank goodness ds isn't a girl, he might have fallen over :LOL