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Frequent Night Nursers OLDER than 3 Years

post #1 of 71
4/8/05 at 11:06am
Thread Starter 
I know there is another thread on this (started yesterday) - but it is for 2-3 year olds. And I started a thread on this a little while ago about nightwaking nursers older than 2 here.

BUT - Now ds is older than 3, and I think there aren't that many mamas out there suffering through night after night of nursing again and again, or marathon nursing for hours, with children who are older than three years old!!!

I sleep through a lot of it, but it is still disturbing to my total rest.
When will I be able to go to sleep and hug my pillow all night long, totally undisturbed until day breaks???

Last night:
nursed ds to sleep.
ds woke 2 1/2 hours later to nurse at 1am.
ds woke at 3am to nurse.
ds woke sometime after 4 am and nursed until he got out of bed at 7:45 am.

I'm soooooooooooooooooooooooo tired of this!

I think I'm the only one.
Well, maybe TiredX2 is here with me.

P.S. Nightweaning is not an option for me - please let's not discuss it on this thread

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post #2 of 71
4/8/05 at 12:13pm
Naww.... my 3.5 year old still nurses at night... he's not much of a marathon nurser tho... figured I'd give you some company, tho....
post #3 of 71
4/8/05 at 12:25pm
Thread Starter 
thanks GWH!
post #4 of 71
4/8/05 at 3:28pm
how do you feel about night weaning? i night weaned my son when he was about 18m old. i just slept on the couch for a couple of nights and DH cuddled him back to sleep. he was ready. it was easy. i didn't even really need to sleep on the couch that second night, as i recall. he didn't wean completely till he was 22m old.

my older daughter night weaned herself by needing the tv and her father to sleep w/her downstairs. i slept upstairs, and before we knew it, she wasn't nursing at night anymore. she didn't wean completely till she was 27m old, and that bc my milk dried up due to pregnancy.

my baby stll nurses a lot at night, but she's only 7m old.

does your ds have some sort of physical need to eat at night, or could you night wean him?
post #5 of 71
4/8/05 at 3:40pm
Thread Starter 
1) we are TV-Free
2) DS will not have anything to do with DH at night
post #6 of 71
4/8/05 at 4:40pm
well, you certainly don't need a TV - that was sort of a fluke. but you do need a partner who can help out. that's a toughie . . .
post #7 of 71
4/8/05 at 4:42pm
Thread Starter 
it's not about the partner

nightweaning is not an option.
I explained it in another thread a while back.

I'll see if I can dig it up...
post #8 of 71
4/8/05 at 4:44pm
Thread Starter 
here it is:
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=244536
post #9 of 71
4/8/05 at 4:53pm
Hi UrbanPlanter, mine is three (a few months over) and still a marathon night nurser- has been since birth, no slowing down, no dropping any nursings.

He has asthma and allergies, which we are constantly working on. He has never had a drop of formula. I let him nurse because he needs it although it has been hard.
post #10 of 71
4/8/05 at 8:29pm
ok, gotcha. nightweaning is out. so were you wanting support only? or something else ...?
whatever you were hoping for, you certainly have my sympathy!
were i in your boat, i'd be a wreck!
post #11 of 71
4/8/05 at 10:24pm
Thread Starter 
I want to know that I'm not the only one suffering with this!
And I want support!
And insight! (I suspect allergies as well, but they are elusive to tests)...
And sympathy! Thanks!
post #12 of 71
4/8/05 at 11:02pm
It literally has been years, but I didn't think the marathons were ever going to stop. I took SOME steps...if she didn't wake for the last (early morning) nursing by 6, I got out of bed, made myself a cup of tea, read the paper, whatever, just so I owned my own self for a few minutes before that interminable wakeup nursing began. Somehow I could handle it better sitting up on the couch in the living room than trapped in bed. But I hear you about the 4 am to 7:45...I just absolutely COULD NOT BELIEVE she'd still be nursing that much later!! OTOH, trying to wean her from that particular nursing before she outgrew it (which I tried some days) resulted in a very clingy unhappy child. Somehow that major reconnection at sunup gave her the confidence to face the day...
I also did this thing I called "being roomies"; it was as simple as rolling over and turning my back on her. I needed to do that to ease my lower back pain, and I also found that sometimes she'd wake up, snuggle against my back and go back to sleep without nursing. Many nights now (she's 8) I fall asleep in her bed and I'll find at some point that this has happened; she'll have arms and legs thrown over me--just checking to see i'm there in her sleep.

Nightweaning wasn't an option for us either; when she was younger, she WOULD let dh sing to her/walk her around the house, but by 3, that would never have worked. So I can relate to that too.

Can you try some silly creative idea that works to keep you sane the way my little moves did for me? Honestly, some nights just knowinf that I got 3 hours uninterrupted sleep with my knees drawn up to ease my back felt like a victory...

Oh, and one night, when she was about 4.5, she rolled over while I read a story, said, "tell me if there's any pictures," and fell asleep without nursing--and slept all night. It does happen!! (still didn't wean for years tho'!)

Good luck and hope you get some sleep.
post #13 of 71
4/9/05 at 4:15pm
Thread Starter 
thanks darlindeliasmom!!!

(but... ugh! another 18 months! I know that's what I'm in for...)
Well, little sanity tricks are a good idea... right now the only one I've got is MDC at midnight, so I'm not trapped in bed...
post #14 of 71
4/9/05 at 7:10pm
Well my ds is 4.5 years old and we sleep together while dh sleeps in the other bed. He nurses in the early mornings and gropes for me during the night.

I work 2 nights a week and get off at 11 pm so usually when I come home he is asleep. WHen i am home, dh will still put him to bed with much fussing. But its for my sanity! SO i don't care if he gets upset sometimes, YK? SO the nights I do put him down he'll nurse, while we read stories and sometimes while sleeping he'll get fussy so if he just has a hand on the boob he is ok.

I do the same thing as the previous poster, I turn my back and feign sleep. And he'll just snuggle do a few grunts of complaint but thats it.

I understand that you feel frustrated and tired, so do I still sometimes. But it does get better. I too remember the first few times he went to sleep with out the boob while I was there with him in the bed!

What is happening during the day? Is he making up for something during the night, like closeness or time?

I know I'm not much help, but you are not alone!
post #15 of 71
4/9/05 at 7:14pm
May I ask why ds wont have anything to do with dh like you posted?


Can this be resolved in anyway? For your own sanity?
post #16 of 71
4/10/05 at 2:29pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by UrbanPlanter
I think I'm the only one.
Well, maybe TiredX2 is here with me.
:LOL You *know* I'm here.

DS is still nursing through the night.

I've really been mulling over a night-weaning when he turns four for 4-5 hours nightly. IF he isn't going that long by then. (But we are starting preschool in the fall after he turns 4 and I don't want too much on his plate at once. And I also *do not* want to nurse him at preschool). He is still doing the 2-3 hour thing plus the morning marathon. I wonder how different of a person I will be when DS finally nighweans? I got pg w/DD when I was 21, she night nursed until DS was born--- so including pg I have not been sleeping "normally" for almost seven years. Well, I guess I get to define my new normal

Anyway I'm sorry it is still such hard going for you. I do notice small, tiny changes and looking back a year it is SOOOOO different (a year ago it was still 1-2 hours, but a year ago I also partially night-weaned him (4-5 hours) for a week to ten days. I would *really* *really* *really* like him to night wean himself all the way (by that I mean, me not instigate that first 4-5 hours and him do the rest, rather him do it *all*) but I also don't know if I can make it too many more years. But then I think... well, I've made it 6.5 years w/out good sleep... what's another 1.5 years?
post #17 of 71
4/10/05 at 2:31pm
Urban Planter---

Is your DS still napping? Or is 10:30-7:45 all the sleep he gets in a day? Cause then I would be seriously dead, lol. (DS goes 8:30-7 most days)
post #18 of 71
4/10/05 at 4:03pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Guava~Lush
May I ask why ds wont have anything to do with dh like you posted?


Can this be resolved in anyway? For your own sanity?
I dunno - ds won't tell me! :LOL (although, he is quite verbal right now...)

He's just always wanted me-and-only-me when it comes to sleep - both nap and bedtime.

Daddy is not lactating.

In fact, last night, when it came down to walking the : and getting ds to sleep, and dh was grumbling about it, I said "when you start lactating then we can switch responsibilities; until then, please don't complain to me" :LOL

was that too bitchy? :
post #19 of 71
4/10/05 at 4:07pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by TiredX2
Urban Planter---

Is your DS still napping? Or is 10:30-7:45 all the sleep he gets in a day? Cause then I would be seriously dead, lol. (DS goes 8:30-7 most days)
yeah he naps - he can nap 2-3 hours!

The GOOD news is that I can nurse him down for a nap and not hear from him until he's starting to wake up from the nap. Used to be - until a few months ago - that I would nurse him down, and then nurse him once or twice during - and then nurse him upon waking. Now I just nurse him down and then a really long session when he is waking up.

Yeah, the nights are better now than from a year ago.
Last night was AWFUL. Some nights are better than others, but generally he never sleeps more than 2-3 hour stretches MAX.

I'm so afraid that I won't survive another pregnancy, and I just can't imagine doing this all over again with another dc - I still am nowhere near out of the woods with my ds!
post #20 of 71
4/10/05 at 4:08pm
Thread Starter 
Oh, so, about the naps - it does give me some sanity during the day, esp. the days I am REALLY tired. But the down side now is that he is napping later and staying up much later, like 10:30-11pm!!! That makes it hard on DH and me, too. We're often ready to go to sleep before he is!

But if I try to cut out the nap, he still crashes late in the day and wakes up for the evening. Or, if he does manage to go until 6 or 7pm, then DH won't ever get to see him during the week...
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Mothering › Mothering Discussion Forums › Breastfeeding › Child-Led Weaning › Frequent Night Nursers OLDER than 3 Years