|I kind of get sad at the whole adults only thing. I get the other side of the debate, but imo kids are a part of our lives, kwim?|
I never understood the money argument about kids though - why is it no problem to pay for your great aunt's meal, whom you haven't even seen in 8 years, but it's considered outrageous to have to pay for a child's meal?
Okay, that was totally off topic.
Back to the OP, you've gotten good advice. I'd either go and have someone watch the kids at the hotel (I wouldn't leave them at home either), go and visit after hours with the other relatives, or decline the invite. If you end up talking with someone about why you declined, I'd say it was because you aren't comfortable leaving your children, but I wouldn't call the bride and groom and ask about it beforehand. It will just make them feel uncomfortable.
We are also invited to an adults only family wedding this summer. It's about 1.5 hours away, and I'm not comfortable leaving the baby for that long. So my mom is coming with us and watching them at the hotel near the reception.