I hope that Dh and I can pay for them to go to school, or pay for part, or help how ever they need help. Especially for my daughter. I don't begrudge my son, and I plant to help him as much as possible as well..but ..well..I want Emily to be able to take care of herself. I want my daughter to be able to support herself, and have health care, and a home of her own, and what ever she wants from life.
I have a small savings acocunt for each of them, and it is for school, not just college, but highschool as well( sports fees, music, etc.) I wish we had more for them. i f I could convince people to quit giving them crappy dollar store gifts and give us money instead, I would be a happy camper.
This is sort of OT, but my family didn't think educating women was all that important. My grandmother, great grandmother and Mother all got married as teenagers. All had babies as teen agers. My Mom barely graduated highschool, my gramma did not get past 8th grade, and my great gramma did graduate and then got married and Pg right quick. My sister and my cousin are the 1st women in our fmaily to ever graduate highschool and then go to college. My cousin came close to graduating, my sister dropped out after 2 years. One of my great grandmothers got married at 17, another at 15, and another at 16. Guess how soon after that they became mothers ? My Mom got maried at 18, pregnant at 19, and 2 months after ehr 20th birthday, I was born.
I managed to just barely graduate from highschool. There was no way I was going to get a loan, or a grant, or a scholarship. I had no idea what I was going to do with my life. It felt as if leaving highschool was basically the end of the line for me, and I was petrified. I couldn't think of what I was going to do now.
Neither I, nor anyone else in my family knew how to go about getting someone into college. It was an entirely unknown land for us all. I wanted to go, I thought about it, but I had no idea how I was going to pay for it if I did even manage to get in. It seemed like a magic place that only special people could get into , and I was not one of those special people.
Once I went up to Edinborough university, a college I wanted to go to ( In PA.) and I was there and pretrified. i felt like I had entered another realm, I saw so many people, so many buildings..it was overwhelming and I was so scared. I was there for day, adn I was so happy to get back home..but I also thought baout that place day and day out for a year afterwards. I had no idea how to get in, no one in my family knew..and I felt like I was stuck and my life was over.
Now I am 29 years old, 2 kids, a less than wonderful marriage, and no education, and no job skills, and nothing to offer to the world if tomorrow i had to go and search for ajob. I would end up working for minumum wage, no health care, unable to do much past survival at its most basic.
I will do everything in my power to help her. I want both of my children to succeed in their lives. i want both of my children to have a good life..but thinking about my daughter not having that which I did not have gives me nightmares. I want her to have a good life. If all she does is become , oh, a secretary in a drs office, I am ok. Just so long as she has the skills to do so and support herself and save something for a rainy day and be happy and content with her life. I don't expect her to be a high powered attorney, or a neurosurgeon, or the Queen of all..I just want her to be able to take care of herself.
My life, as it is, is my worst nightmare for my daughter. I fret about her as an adult woman quite often to myself...hoping and praying that when she is older that I will have been able tot each ehr to love knowledge as I have taught my son, adn that we will have been bale to keep lit what ever flame it is she carries as a dream for her life.
I also will be a real hard ass and tell her she can get married, have babies, etc, but NOT until she has some sort of training/degree under her belt. I will watch them for her if she wants to go back to work part time, I will encourage and support ehr how ever I can..but I will be heartbroken if she repeats the history of the women of our family.