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do you let your toddler watch television? - Page 3

post #41 of 154
Roxy, I respectfully disagree. Dora, Thomas, et al. are definitely part of commercialism.

Notice when you go to your local store all the Dora & Thomas tie ins? I can buy a lunchox, a t shirt, a beach towel, an outfit, shoes, a sheet set, many accessories, hats, socks? Heck, I could do a whole room in either motif.

Quote:
com·mer·cial·ism
n.
1. The practices, methods, aims, and spirit of commerce or business.
2. An attitude that emphasizes tangible profit or success.
I think Dora and Thomas definitely emphasize tangible profits no? Commercials are not necessary to commercialism.


Also, I dislike the "no harm done" statement. Perhaps everyone should revisit that after a decade rather than a year kwim? Not really long enough of a time to make such a judgement IMO. Who knows how TV will affect your child in the long term.

My thought is: There is no harm in not letting your child watch TV.
We has one tiny TV to 8 people growing up so my TV time was non-existent. I have fond memories of being outdoors, interacting with my siblings, pretend and imaginary play, family time, etc. I want my son to have those memories. And I can out unscathed from not watching TV. I survived.

Octobersweethearts, I am going to check out that book and see what it says. The Plug In Drug comes highly recommended too so I am going to read them both. I am on my way and incentives to get it done are great

I do think TV causes problems in society, and I strive to be TV free for my child's benefit. And I definitely think there is a benefit to it. Is there a benefit to TV? Well that is to be determinded. My thoughts are not as many as not watching TV.

sohj also posts great thoughts on being TV free. Worth checking out
post #42 of 154
Ah, well, just lump me in with all the other "bad" moms out there because we do allow some tv. Heck, when DS is sick, or I'm sick, he gets even MORE tv. *gasp*.

But you know what, I really, really don't believe he is being harmed. He doesn't sit in front of the TV all day, and there are days it isn't on. This is anecdotal evidence, but still proves my point to an extent. I grew up with unlimited TV, as did my sisters. Yet, all of us have post-graduate degrees and are intelligent. I even received a scholarship to law school. I can think on my own and much perfer books to TV. I grew up watching mainstream America shows and yet I still turned out to be a fairly crunchy mom who questions everything. Again, I can think for myself.

And, really, I think forbidding kids from watching tv at all will backfire when they are older. I've seen it happen with youth that I work with.
post #43 of 154
Melanie, no one called you a "bad" mom. Any feelings of guilt or otherwise are not here. No one called you anything as far as I can see.

I for one do not equate degrees and intelligence with TV one way or the other. I never saw anyone say a person would be unsuccessful or stupid if they watch TV. Did I miss a post?

Quote:
Originally Posted by wednesday
(1) the research linking TV-viewing in children under 2 to a higher incidence of ADD by elementary age;
(2) the intense, manipulative marketing that is designed to make a child feel like they can not live without a particular product (I don't think it is good for their self-esteem OR for the parent-child relationship for a child to be continuously primed to want things the parent is going to refuse to buy);
(3) the "displacement" concept, that is the idea that time spent watching TV is time taken away from physical play, creative play, and so on, thereby stunting a child's physical and intellectual development;
(4) the "attitude" and coarseness displayed by typical characters in children's cartoons/programming, and the way parent/teacher figures are shown as stupid and it is cool to be sneaky and get away with stuff;
(5) the link between TV-watching and obesity.
These are all valid concerns. None of which have to do with what degree you obtain. They do have to do with physical, emotional and mental well being. Plenty of people with physical, emotional and mental problem obtain degrees. One is not because of the other. Plenty of non TV watchers have post-graduate degrees. I also not think childhood TV watching necessarily makes for crunchy either way. I do not see a correlation between the two.

I am curious as to evidence showing TV is good for you or does not harm you. Does such a study exist?

And as for me (I cannot speak for everyone else) I do not forbid anything. My son prefers to do other things He could watch if it he wants, but he would rather go to the park. I am curious as to how it backfires though.

I personally did not watch a lot of TV, and I think my imagination and creativity stems from that. I would love for my son to be imaginative and creative. If I think mine stemmed in part from not watching TV, well, it might work for him. Again my thought is: There is no harm in not letting your child watch TV. I would like to see evidence that shows me my son needs to watch TV.
post #44 of 154
I will just say:
BIG HUGE PASSIVE, Babysitting OBJECT is NOT for us..
Use it how you may .. no need to use excuses to justify.. I believe the OP rightfully asked do you or dont you watch tv and if so how much?.....


Even leaving out all the research against it for toddlers especially 0-3yrs Our family doesnt have time for it

I personally am not for toddlers learning to 'decode' letters and numbers just by hearing or seeing something on tv.. there is a certain time when children are truly ready to learn to read and write.. I laugh when moms i know brag that their DC can count and such at such a young age...

It starting to make sense children are pushed to read earlier however when it comes to reading comprehension there isnt much of it........ WHole other topic though.. oops




Michele
post #45 of 154
Meco- sorry, I'm on edge today because DS has been a little pill. Sorry. I'm really not defensive about this thread, but others that run the gamut on MDC about how "bad" TV is.

Sorry.
post #46 of 154
Quote:

I am curious as to evidence showing TV is good for you or does not harm you. Does such a study exist?
I have read a book on this and it did support that minimal TV can be good for the brain, depending on the type of show, etc. Again, it was MINIMAL tv- as in no more than one 20-30 minute show a day, but not necessarily that much. This goes for videos as well as TV. I will try to find the name of the book.

My point though is that you can "research" anything you want and have results skewed to fit your idea. I'm not denying that TV/videos can be harmful, and I do think that many american families watch way too much. However, I don't think that it is all that harmful in small doses, and I do think it can be a learning tool in some situations.

For example, in my counseling program, we often watch videos of various counselor's rechniques. There is no other way to really get a feel for a real session unless you see one. You can read about it all you want, but you can't see the facial expressions and body language nuances in a book. These both play a huge role in counseling. Obviously, this example is more extreme than your kids watching Baby Einstein or something, but I am just illustrating the point that not all TV is bad.
post #47 of 154
yep. He never was interested in tv until about 19 months. Then he LOVED it and it was like a little vacation for me! As he was/is a high needs infant/baby and I was so exhausted for his first 1+yrs of life. It was truly a dream the first time dora came on and he just stood there mesmorized. But, at 2yrs exactly the fun was over and he has no interest in it anymore.
post #48 of 154
Well, I do not think you are anything because of TV. I am sorry you are having a run with your son. Oddly enough my son has been a pill as of late too :LOL Must be in the air I hope it gets better.

And in my OP I said my son watched TV from time to time especially when he is or I am sick so I feel you. No one is perfect all the time, least of all me I would never judge you for anything especially watching TV or parenting as you see fit. The judgement does suck sometimes. Ok, all the time :LOL

Thanks for the response. I had never heard that. I appreciate the info. I can see how it might benefit adults. I was curious about children too. Interesting though.

Quote:
My point though is that you can "research" anything you want and have results skewed to fit your idea.
I agree with this one hundred percent.
post #49 of 154
Thread Starter 
[QUOTE=ArlyShellandKai]I will just say:
BIG HUGE PASSIVE, Babysitting OBJECT is NOT for us..
Use it how you may .. no need to use excuses to justify.. I believe the OP rightfully asked do you or dont you watch tv and if so how much?.....


i dont really understand what you mean here...but i think that im edging towards the "in moderation" side.
but
i really wish i could be more like you non tv watching moms. I just dont think its really realistic for me.
i worry
i worry all the time.
i grew up watching alot of tv, i was never involved in any sports or anything as much as i begged and pleaded the answer was always no...and i really had a hard time growing up and through my teens and young adult...heck im still having a hard time. Not with school, i was always very good in school, but emotionally and socially. BTW im not obese or fat even!
i know i am very creative yet i do very little with it. Next to nothing.
I am depressed at times too.
so
im gonna just come out and blame the whole freaking thing on tv.
Stupid TV look what it did to me!
dammit!
no seriously though, i dont want my son to make the same decisions i made.
or quite frankly to end up like me, right now, im hoping to still make changes.
but on the positive side...im still a really nice person with a big heart and i like to consider myself to be an aware and very conscious person. not sure if tv influenced that at all. But mr rogers is still on and is a really peaceful show. we dont really watch it though.

but
for the record...my son doesnt watch dora or blues clues or thomas.
he only watchs about an hour and thats not everyday.
he really likes that song and dance show High5 which is really cute and theres lots of singing and dancing.
we have a sharon louis and bram in concert which he likes to watch.
we have some baby einstein but since the dvd broke we dont really watch those.
he also really likes Little Bear which is a 10 minute cartoon about...well a little bear and his animal friends. Its cute.
oh yes i tape and watch a yoga show too. He watchs that.
sometimes Zaboomafoo too which iMo is a truly brilliant show.
NO COMMERCIALS
NO REGULAR TV.
good grief no judge judy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i find those judge type shows completely inappropriate for children.

thanks for all the replies.
i stopped coming here for a long time cause i usually end up feeling bad about my parenting decisions...im feeling a little bad right now but i think i'll be okay.
post #50 of 154
WHole wheat buns ( love the name )

Dh was a big tv fan and so was I to a point ... However when kai was a few months old we realized we didnt want to spend 50 something dollars a month when we were busy with Kai. We had it disconnected and was planning on having it back on in a few months. WIth in that time I began doing some reading and also realized I wasnt gonna have time for TV. When we were first without it it felt really strange since we seemed to have it on for background noise. After the first few weeks I began to feel like I had way more time in our day. Im not trying to talk you into TV FREE however if you wanna try it maybe do it during National Turn your tv off wk ( last week of April). From the time we awaken in the morning to the time Kai goes to sleep I honestly couldnt even fine time to have it on and more so I dont see how Kai would have time to watch it..
We arent an overscheduled family by no means however we have a pretty good rhythm in our home of how our days go ( rain or shine) Kai appreciates this as he knows what to expect and toddlers love that.

If you truly are questioning yourself I would do some more reading and really feel what you want say outta your day and such. Maybe start a rhythm of some sort. If you would like ideas and such I would love to help


We also do lots of crafts, nature Table and such



What i find funny is all of you who do allow your toddlers to watch tv IM the one that feels i get beaten up for NOT having tv on ( not here but my side of the family LOL)


Michele
post #51 of 154
Thread Starter 
question for all you notvmoms.
you dont even let your little1s watch movies like alice in wonderland or aladin or anything?
what is the the biggest concern for you about television and children?
the main reason you choose no tv?
what about music?

my son loves music.
he also loves reading. Often sitting through 5 or 6 of his books. (lately he doesnt seem so interested though and im worried that its because of the tv. Could it be? oh no!)

also fyi i dont use the tv as a "babysitting object" like the other poster calls it.
ahhh i was gonna go on but yeah i guess shes right i dont need to justify or "make excuses" :
post #52 of 154
All my childhood my mother told me that all that TV was going to rot my mind. Funny thing I figured out in adulthood, she hated TV because she has always been really hyperactive and just couldn't sit still. I turned out ok. I know that sounds lame, but I just don't think it is that big of an influence for good or for bad, there are so many more powerful influences than TV in our house. It is a tool, sometimes used poorly but just a tool. I watch a lot of TV. It is on a lot. I have decided that this isn't even on my list of things I would like to change about my life. There are other things that matter more than TV.
post #53 of 154
{question for all you notvmoms.
you dont even let your little1s watch movies like alice in wonderland or aladin or anything?

Not at this age Kai is only 18 months. It may be different when he is much older . He will then have a choice of the matter. HOwever at this age and through his younger yrs there is much more better things for him to be enjoying.


what is the the biggest concern for you about television and children?
the main reason you choose no tv?


Neurologically speaking the rapid images> Some beleive older children are having more difficulties sitting still reading a book because their brains seem to be wired to except fast images such as TV. ( not saying this is the case everytime of course)

I dont fear tv >> right now it just doesnt fit into OUR lives.

I dont see so much of a problem with adults and such watching however I believe some elders get so tied into knowing what others are doing and getting sucked into the media that it is detramental to their health.


what about music?


We dont have any CDs and such with children singing ( well actually his Music Together CDs do have some childrens voices.. I tend to listen to some and then sing them to him.. ( BTW I love the Naturally You Can Sing Cds)
He typically has a variety of all types of music and he loves Folk .. I believe it is most important to feel free and sing to your child.



Michele
post #54 of 154
My dd watches dvds - Baby Einstein, The Wiggles, and Signing Times. Once in a blue moon the Teletubbies or Once Upon a Potty (yes, the dvd of the book. For shame ).

I am not a tv person, nor is my dh. We don't have cable. We don't watch tv. I have found that for dd, dvds help calm her down. In an ideal world I'd prefer she not watch tv at all, but I find it works for us and I don't feel badly about it. Dd is high energy and spirited. Her natural state is on the move. She does not veg out to tv, but it helps calm her down. Like nursing does. She loves the Wiggles' music - she dances along and sings and I dance with her. Other times she plays with her toys while the show is on in the background.

I am not worried about her growing up abusing tv. Dh and I are readers. We read with her, she sees us reading all the freaking time. I have a lot of physical energy (she gets it from me) so she and I play outside and run and jump and keep active. Its all balance.
post #55 of 154
Quote:
Originally Posted by ArlyShellandKai
I will just say:
BIG HUGE PASSIVE, Babysitting OBJECT is NOT for us..
Use it how you may .. no need to use excuses to justify.. I believe the OP rightfully asked do you or dont you watch tv and if so how much?.....

I personally am not for toddlers learning to 'decode' letters and numbers just by hearing or seeing something on tv.. there is a certain time when children are truly ready to learn to read and write.. I laugh when moms i know brag that their DC can count and such at such a young age.

Yes, heaven forbid they can count at a young age! One can only imagine the horrors that lay in store for these children armed with an understanding of letters and numbers. Gasp...

Since you say there is a "certain time" when children are ready to learn to read and write, could you please elaborate a little further and tell us exactly when this is? It sounds like from the ages of 0-3 this is verboten. Do they magically start learning things on the day after their third birthday? And if a child DOES learn something from TV, or a computer, or a book, or a sign on the road on their own, please explain how you know that they AREN'T ready to do these things if they are denied certain things to begin with because they don't fit into your personal worldview?

These threads always start out fine and then get to the point where logic takes a backseat. The posts about the link the TV and obesity, etc. are hilarious beyond belief. Let's look at some other things that cause obesity: lack of exercise, a poor diet, and bad genes. The first of these two can be taken care of provided there is a parent around to set a good example. What study could link TV alone to obesity?? It simply couldn't! It's what you do or don't do whether in front of the TV or not that is the problem. Sitting in front of the TV eating potato chips and drinking pop will reap different results than a child eating a healthy meal and spending hours outdoors before watching TV, or after for that matter.

I understand that this is a hot button topic, but when children are denied things all it means is they'll be even more curious to try it when they're older and then they'll have no guidance and truly be at the mercy of advertisers. There is this thing called moderation, yet I wonder if people have problems with this in their life.
post #56 of 154
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kristine
Yes, heaven forbid they can count at a young age! One can only imagine the horrors that lay in store for these children armed with an understanding of letters and numbers. Gasp...

Since you say there is a "certain time" when children are ready to learn to read and write, could you please elaborate a little further and tell us exactly when this is? It sounds like from the ages of 0-3 this is verboten. Do they magically start learning things on the day after their third birthday? And if a child DOES learn something from TV, or a computer, or a book, or a sign on the road on their own, please explain how you know that they AREN'T ready to do these things if they are denied certain things to begin with because they don't fit into your personal worldview?

These threads always start out fine and then get to the point where logic takes a backseat. The posts about the link the TV and obesity, etc. are hilarious beyond belief. Let's look at some other things that cause obesity: lack of exercise, a poor diet, and bad genes. The first of these two can be taken care of provided there is a parent around to set a good example. What study could link TV alone to obesity?? It simply couldn't! It's what you do or don't do whether in front of the TV or not that is the problem. Sitting in front of the TV eating potato chips and drinking pop will reap different results than a child eating a healthy meal and spending hours outdoors before watching TV, or after for that matter.

I understand that this is a hot button topic, but when children are denied things all it means is they'll be even more curious to try it when they're older and then they'll have no guidance and truly be at the mercy of advertisers. There is this thing called moderation, yet I wonder if people have problems with this in their life.



I especially love your first part about letters and numbers. My son learned all of his letters and numbers by 20 months and could count actual objects by 2. He learned it from BOOKS and from just being out and doing things/seeing things. Should I have hindered him perhaps? Discourage him from learning naturally even though it was early?
post #57 of 154
My ds watched NO TV at all until he was 2 1/2.
We have gradually introduced movies and dvds since then.

I am comfortable with the small amount he watches.
So, I am not going to make any excuses at all.

I will say that I don't always think for-profit equals evil. People have to make a living. I personally like to profit from my labor.
My issue with commercialization comes from using beloved characters to sell unhealthy, unrelated things.
For example, I don't have problems with the existance of Dora or Thomas T-shirts.
I would have HUGE problems with Dora being used to sell fast food hamburgers.
There is a vast difference to me. I don't object in a knee-jerk fashion to the whole CONCEPT of merchandising. I make mindful decisions about merchandising.
We don't have Dora stuff, but I have no issues with the Thomas stuff we have.
If Thomas is used to sell vaccinations.. well, then I will have issues.
post #58 of 154
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wholewheat Buns
question for all you notvmoms.
you dont even let your little1s watch movies like alice in wonderland or aladin or anything?
what is the the biggest concern for you about television and children?
the main reason you choose no tv?
I like this article:
Passive Brains Retain Sensations, not Information

I'm a "no TV mom" but DH doesn't agree with me and takes him to the movies and watches TV with him "on occassion." More of a treat rather than a daily thing.

Since we disagree SO strongly, I am willing to live with this compromise.

Out of sheer desperation/exhaustion during pg, I let him watch a few Disney movies here and there. I am not perfect. I do my best.

I would LOVE to be able to plop him down for 1 hour a day to watch something, but I know better. I always had a nagging little voice inside me say it wasn't a good idea.

I remember reading an awesome cautionary Baby Magazine article (in 2000) about TV watching and young children. I knew the AAP was anti-TV for the first 2 years.

At age 2, I put Sesame Street on, thinking it was "educational." I was shocked
1) it was 1 hour long
2) he was totally addicted

Then I picked up Endangered Minds: Why Children Don't Think and What we Can Do About it by Jane Healy.

She wrote this for the AAP.

Basically, her thesis is that all experience shapes the brain... and TV viewing maybe be shaping the brain in ways that is NOT condusive to problem-solving, rational thought. She said, across the board, all the educators she spoke to across the country report the same thing... kids today are not as bright as they were a generation ago. Apparently, curriculums are dumbed-down.

She devotes a whole chapter to how BAD Sesame Street is (fast moving images, short vignettes...) for the developing brain. Makes ya wonder.

Anyway, I bought the book on the spot and turned it off for good. DS had a hard time at first, but then he was OK with it.

DS has a WONDERFUL attention span (for books and live theater) and I credit that to No TV.

When and if we do watch stuff, we do it together so we can talk about it, evaluate it, process it.

WholeWheatBuns... nobody on MDC is perfect! I'm not judging you (or anybody else.) We are all doing our best... if you don't like the way you experienced your childhood (neither do I!) then think about what * you * would have liked.

I too, spent way too much time watching TV alone. I grew up in NYC, a rich cultural city... and I didn't see a Broadway play or visit a museum till I was in JH & HS.

I don't want my son to be passive. We take him out for adventures (the zoo, the pet shop, whatever...) I want him to have more of what I didn't have - experiences.

Riding a real snow sled is way better than watching Elmo or Dora do it on TV.

Playing with a real train set (or riding a real train) is way better than watching Thomas the Tank Engine.

(I would personally prefer the same thing myself... the real thing, vs. the fake thing on TV.)

My son learned colors, numbers, letters, from - gasp - me. Nobody * needs * Baby Einstein DVDs for that... but that's not what marketers tell young parents.

It's hard being a parent these days... marketing a is huge problem. Nobody is going to market "natural family living" because there is no money to be made there.

Music
My son also loved music around age 2-3... great... encourage that... take him to local, live area children's concerts if you can, or free adult shows... buy kid CDs or adult music... encourage dancing/movement.
post #59 of 154
Hmmmm this is something I have been thinking about a lot recently. They watch a 1/2 "toon" in the morning and then nothing else. Mostly gives me a chance to shower/dress/make breakfast and what have you. :LOL They've got better things to do than watch tv all day. I don't make an issue out of it though, I figure that would just make it more desirable.

Now when I was a kid, we didn't watch tv ever. We had one, dad would watch the news when he got home and then nothing else until after we went to bed. Sometimes they would rent a vcr (dating myself here lol) and we could watch a movie. When I moved in with my dh (then bf) the tv was on 24/7 - it's what he grew up with. ( His mom was a "dcp" of sorts who used the tv to entertain the kids. I honestly don't think the tv ever gets turned off at her house Very.Annoying.) So I quickly got used to the constant noise but once the kids started arriving, it really started bothering me. So now it's off. There are still movies on occasion though. We have a huge collection : So she (the oldest) asks for a movie every once in awhile.
post #60 of 154
The defensiveness makes me think there are other issues. Why get so bothered if you are content with your decisions?

I assume most have read studies and theories from both sides before you made your decision. You balanced the good and bad on both sides to come to your conclusions? Just like any other important decision in your child's life, I assume people have researched it thoroughly and knows why they are chose what they did.

The studies I read today while reading about this thread make a TV watching (not in moderation like the average child who watched 4 hours a day)---->sedentary lifestyle connection. Which as a PP mentioned is attributed to obesity. So while not an A to B connection, it is an A leads to B which causes C. A causal relationship.

Imagine everyone's shock when my son learned his ABCs and to count in Spanish and English not from some cartoon but from his me And he is learning Spanish, not from Dora, but from his family.

So Kristine, I ask you since you ridiculed everyone was is not pro-TV, what benefits do you see TV providing for your children?

I have no issue with TV every once in awhile. I am working on this now, and I hope to be TV free though. As a single mom it can be difficult but I have decided it to be the best for me. I am not forbidding my son from anything, just providing many alternatives. As I mentioned earlier, when my son was sick and wanted nothing but me a bit of a movie was beneficial to my sanity. I do not think it was critical to his emotional, physical or mental well being. But I find it odd that people are so bothered by people choosing not to watch TV. Why is it an issue?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kristine
I understand that this is a hot button topic, but when children are denied things all it means is they'll be even more curious to try it when they're older and then they'll have no guidance and truly be at the mercy of advertisers. There is this thing called moderation, yet I wonder if people have problems with this in their life.
Well I was "denied" many things, but they are nothing I am curious or interested in. Racism was forbidden in my house, but I am not curious about it. Same with violence and hate. So your blanket statement is a generalization and does not apply to everyone. I was never forbidden from watching TV. I was taught there are more interesting things in life than to waste hours each day watching the box. I would have rather done other things. It just did not appeal to me. I found it to be a bit of a bore most of the time.

And I never was nor am I now at the mercy of advertisers. Care to elaborate? My son and I went to ride the ferris wheel in Times Square today, and while in the toy store he did not cry for one thing. He is satisfied looking. I was able to go in and out without his begging for one silly licensed or otherwise toy.

And implying any of us have issues with moderation is "hilarious beyond belief." How would you know what me (or my sibling or any of us) have trouble with? None of us (my siblings) suffer from any traditional addictions, minor or serious. None of us overindulge--except for the occasional meal or in travel (if there is such a thing). I am pretty much your poster girl for moderation. So how is it that I/we escaped unscathed?
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