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Support for Parents of Gifted Children, #4 - Page 3

post #41 of 284
My son (who will be 4 in July) didn't say a single word until he was a few months shy of 3-- he said his first word exactly one year ago. He had about 5 months of speech therapy from 2 1/2 to 3, and then just one month of speech therapy when he was 3 1/2-- because his speech therapist determined that his speech was normal. He does fit the "late talker" profile, although his speech development was pretty atypical-- social speech came last. Over the past couple of years, various people (professional and not) have tried to either gently or insistently "diagnose" him as autistic. He certainly could look autistic in a superficial way when he was nonverbal, and he is very socially awkward with his peers-- but it's become increasingly apparent that he's just a bright, geeky little boy with a fantastic memory and the ability to easily understand abstract concepts and apply them.

It does seem from the reading that early talking is almost always correlated with giftedness, but kids who have a normal speech development pattern as well as "late talkers" can also be gifted too. From my experience with my son, I think that language is such a complex skill that we should expect great variability in "normal" development.

Karla
post #42 of 284
Quote:
I have the impression that many other babies do, but their parents or caregivers just don't understand them.
I definitely agree w this, Eilonwy. MANY times I hear babies speaking when their parents say that they don't. I feel bad for the children; their mamas say right in front of them "he doesn't talk yet," and he clearly does! That must be so frustrating for those poor children.
post #43 of 284
I want to thank you all again for this thread. It helps me to know that Goo isn't a freak.

She is trying to read more and more and we are just going slowly. She is getting more and more into imaginative play. This is fun.

I also think more kids speak than their parents realize. We also encourage it. I don't think of it as a "advanced" thing, I just think we don't let babies speak. We assume that they can't and so we don't listen or allow it as a possibiity in our brains.

NoHiddenFees, You daughter ACTUALLY SAYS yes,sir? I am so impressed. I've had a morning of "No mommy, I want THIS" instead of helping out. I am getting so burnt on the non-listening of kids. It doesn't help when she can logic things "Goo, Please don't paint your hand." "It's ok Mommy, we have soap and I can just wash my hands later"

To explain to her that it just drives me BATTY to have her paint her hands is hard because it really has no logic to it..Sigh...
post #44 of 284
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Foobar
NoHiddenFees, You daughter ACTUALLY SAYS yes,sir? I am so impressed. I've had a morning of "No mommy, I want THIS" instead of helping out. I am getting so burnt on the non-listening of kids. It doesn't help when she can logic things "Goo, Please don't paint your hand." "It's ok Mommy, we have soap and I can just wash my hands later"

To explain to her that it just drives me BATTY to have her paint her hands is hard because it really has no logic to it..Sigh...
That's one of the reasons I do TCS. If it doesn't make sense, I don't argue about it. It helps that my kid's a natural when it comes to questioning authority. :LOL
post #45 of 284
Quote:
Originally Posted by Foobar
NoHiddenFees, You daughter ACTUALLY SAYS yes,sir? I am so impressed.
Only in Taekwondo class. She can't be in the class she's in (as opposed to the 2-3 yo's) if she can't pay attention and say, "Yes, sir." They ask the kids to say, "yes, Mother/Father" at home as well but I told her we don't have that rule in our house. We did pratice for one week at home to help her get used to it for TKD, but she was in on the game. I have always asked her to acknowledge that she hears what I'm saying by looking right in my eyes and answering "yes" or "no" or some other appropriate response IF I ask a question. There are of course times that we can't/don't negotiate, but we don't expect her to unquestioningly obey rules and when possible her "no" is respected, if for no other reason than she knows she has one.
post #46 of 284
I agree that many babies are trying to talk and not being understood. Many of my DD's words were pretty hard to decipher at first, but she used them consistently and in correct context, so we caught on most of the time. However, it took us an embarrassingly long time to figure out "Dee DAH!" which meant "Get down!" We used to just grin loopily at her and repeat back "Dee dah, dee dah" like idiots.

Right now she's really starting to string words together, and it's a bit frustrating because I often think she's saying/combining new words, but I can't get a lot of them.

I also just read something about this somewhere--that many babies have "there" mastered early on as a statement of "I did it" or "I acknowledge this object," but most parents miss it. There were some other examples, too.

I'm reading "Genius Denied" right now (I think on someone's recommendation here?) I'm wondering if anyone else who has read it would like to talk about it a little. I feel like it doesn't talk much about social/emotional outcomes for the various acceleration/separation options. I'm also curious what the reaction to this book (and they have another, too, right?) has been in the education community, if anyone knows.
post #47 of 284
Quote:
Originally Posted by NoHiddenFees
Only in Taekwondo class. She can't be in the class she's in (as opposed to the 2-3 yo's) if she can't pay attention and say, "Yes, sir." They ask the kids to say, "yes, Mother/Father" at home as well but I told her we don't have that rule in our house. We did pratice for one week at home to help her get used to it for TKD, but she was in on the game. I have always asked her to acknowledge that she hears what I'm saying by looking right in my eyes and answering "yes" or "no" or some other appropriate response IF I ask a question. There are of course times that we can't/don't negotiate, but we don't expect her to unquestioningly obey rules and when possible her "no" is respected, if for no other reason than she knows she has one.

Ok- I was wondering on that! We don't have a yes or no rule in our house and I sometimes wonder how Goo would handle that...
post #48 of 284
Thread Starter 
BooBah says "there" just as clear as anything. She also says "I want this/that" clearly enough for other people to understand. :LOL She says "eyes" very clearly, but "pretty" comes out a bit slurry ("you've sa purly eyes! what purly eyes!" which is what everyone says to her). She's very insistant, though, when she decides to talk to non family members, so I think that's why they understand her. She works extra hard at it, because she's accustomed to being understood at home.

We have an eye contact rule; I tell BeanBean that I need him to look me in the eyes so I know that he's listening to me, and I look him in the eyes when he's talking to me. Fair's fair! We have to say "look at me" a lot to my niece (the one with Asperger's) because if you don't remind her over and over and over again, she'll look everywhere but at the person she's talking to. It's enough to drive you batty.

I haven't read Genius Denied. I keep meaning to, but until I can get my library issues settled it's probably not going to happen.
post #49 of 284
Hey, did anyone see the Ellen with tiny babies talking? I hear there was an 11-week-old. Just curious.
post #50 of 284
I make Goo look me in the eye if it is important.

You know, like "Don't take your seat belt off" or "It is not ok to slam your sister's head into the floor"

I try not to stress on it because it is clear that it makes her uncomfortable to look into someone's eyes... IS that odd?

Britishmum, I don't know what are the norms on talking. Goo started closer to 15 months...
post #51 of 284
How old is dd2, Britishmum? My guy is spelling like mad on the computer, but quite upset that he can't write yet. I just keep telling him he will be able to and that he should keep trying, but he gets highly frustrated that he can't control the pencil yet.
post #52 of 284
I got an interesting article from MIL yesterday. It was breaking up gifted children into 5 levels. She wanted to know where we felt Goo fell in this. We decided between levels 2 and 3 and she was sure that Goo was level 4. I have to find the article to post here.

It was interesting because it broke down certain behaviors by certain ages and then discussed the peer issues. The goal of the article was to help parents recognize the level to help them work with their child.

It was funny because I could see Hollis as a level5 child just from the posts here.

BritishMum- If you move to Mass, let me know! I would love to get our girls together!
post #53 of 284
Quote:
Originally Posted by Foobar
I got an interesting article from MIL yesterday. It was breaking up gifted children into 5 levels. She wanted to know where we felt Goo fell in this. We decided between levels 2 and 3 and she was sure that Goo was level 4. I have to find the article to post here.

It was interesting because it broke down certain behaviors by certain ages and then discussed the peer issues. The goal of the article was to help parents recognize the level to help them work with their child.

It was funny because I could see Hollis as a level5 child just from the posts here.

BritishMum- If you move to Mass, let me know! I would love to get our girls together!
That's the Ruf thing, the levels of giftedness.
post #54 of 284
Quote:
Originally Posted by LeftField
That's the Ruf thing, the levels of giftedness.

Yup! The author is Deborah Ruf.

This article was in the Cleveland Jewish News
post #55 of 284
Thread Starter 
I remember that article. I don't know where I'd put BeanBean; some of the things Bean did were way earlier than the level five kids, but others were definately later. He didn't quite fit in. :LOL I haven't seen the article since BooBah was new, so I don't know where I'd put her, either. :LOL I guess I'll just call them, "my babies."

Great, he just woke his sister up. I don't know if I should be happy that he wants to play with her or miserable that he no longer seems to have the ability/desire to play by himself...
post #56 of 284
I know I've asked this before, but is there a link between active brains and lack of sleep?

I am so frickin tired. My kids WILL NOT SLEEP!

Goo sleeps 10hours at night, no nap
Moo is sleeping 12 hours (broken) with 1 40 minute nap a day....

UGH......
or is it that my kids just won't sleep!!!!!! :
post #57 of 284
Quote:
Originally Posted by Foobar
I know I've asked this before, but is there a link between active brains and lack of sleep?
I really think there is. Hollis only slept 9-10 hours per 24 hour period as a newborn. If he took a nap during the day it was like 20 minutes long. The rest of the time he wanted to be entertained--e.g. have stuff waved in front of his face, be read to, etc. 14 hours a day! It was hellish. I was sooooooo tired until he was able to do some things by himself. Fear not, though, it will end eventually! He still sleeps less than me but at least now he can get up and entertain himself. :LOL

Quote:
Originally Posted by LeftField
That's the Ruf thing, the levels of giftedness.
Is that the list with the age where they figure out Santa Claus? I've seen that before and it always cracks me up. I guess everyone who doesn't do the Santa thing has genius kids!

Britishmum, that's so cute about the letters with chalk. My kids used to do that all the time! I think chalk and a big piece of driveway is a great way for kids to learn how to write and draw.

Who's moving to Mass?! Maybe we could have a snobby gifted get-together some time.

Lisa
post #58 of 284
Britishmum is thinking of moving to Mass.
I am just outside of 128, NW of the city.

I know you are out in Western Mass...
post #59 of 284

new here, don't know if we belong?

Gifted behavior? Normal? 18 mo questions

Ok, I have moved to this forum because I feel really uncomfortable mentioning these things anywhere else for fear of mama's thinking I am bragging. Having a child who is exceeding your expectations can be just as hard as one who is not. Does that make any sense? I don't know who to talk to about ds's language development because all his peers are struggling and he is not. Ds is an active, determined and funny 18 mo. He has been signing since he was about 8-10 months and did gross motor skills "on time" or a little early. He speaks about 60-70 words, is working on saying about 10 others, and signs about 20 words that he hasn't learned to say. His fine motor skills are exceptional and that's where we are running into problems. He can open things we didn't think he was capable of (gates, jars, outlet covers-you name it). He is obsessed with wires, cords, and anything electrical. He chooses a bag of wires and cords over toys any day and really doesn't bother with many toys except his train set and Tinker Toys. He interacts well with us and others so we aren't worried. He initiated peek-a-boo around 6 months, we have an avi video file if you want to see it. Just looking for some support from those who have been through frustrating days with a very bright toddler. Thanks!

PS DH and I were both labeld gifted in elementary school and both had very frustrating experiences with that label and dealing with being different. If, and it's a big if, dh is gifted, we want things to be different for him. Most importantly, we want him to be happy. :
post #60 of 284
Lyci, your son does sound bright. It's fascinating to me to read about the various ways it manifests. My DD does not have the small motor skill obsession, but I've seen it in other bright children.

I can relate to feeling a little awkward with your mama peers. We are in a playgroup of kids aged about 15 months-2 years, and recently we had a huge discussion via email about verbal skills. Almost every other mom was worried about delayed language (we are a rather academic group). This is not a concern over here (DD is next to me right now saying "Sap beetle, sap beetle"-- :LOL she's really into our insect field guide this week!) I felt a little awkward being totally silent. But there's generally something I can share about. The funny thing about playgroups is that sometimes they seem to be nothing more than a gathering of moms to air worries. But I enjoy the company.

It is a big thing to deal with, thinking about how to manage a gifted child in the school system. We have no plans to homeschool, so we need to think about how she will do in public school and what we should or shouldn't do to advocate for her. Fortunately, we have plenty of time. I started thinking about this about 4 months ago (DD is 16 months) and I already feel more in control and informed.
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