How much does labor hurt? - Page 2

[broodymama]

Once transition hit things got pretty painful for me. I was in the hospital and wish I had been at home or had access to a tub. I sat in the shower in the hospital and the water spraying over me was nice but I would have really liked to be sitting in it. My labor pains were very low, right around/above my pubic bone area. It felt more like my bones were being pushed apart kind of pain, if that makes any sense. I was pretty tired from moving around a lot (I had several hours of back labor before DS flipped over) so by the time I was ready to push I was too tired to be up on hands and knees or squatting. It was very intense, but I've never felt more in-touch with my body.

Bottom line - yes it hurt, but it wasn't anything that I couldn't handle (though I may have said otherwise when I was in transition ). I'm glad that I didn't have meds and will do it the same way next time, though hopefully at home.

[clavicula]

I am totally freaked out! Okay, I am not really, thanks for the tons of experiences you wrote!
One more question if you still have time and energy to read and answer:
I want to go to the hospital, when shall i go if the labor starts at home? After my water broke? How did you decide when to sit into the car and go?
(Honestly, i don't want to spend the entire labor time at the hospital, i have heard that at the beginning it is so much better being at home.)
What do you think?

[Kirsten]

Well, let me calm you down!

I have THE lowest pain threshold around; cry at a paper cut (they HURT!); go into an absolute panic about getting blood drawn. AND I have had three babies absolutely natural, without any drugs or interventions of any kind. And it was not hard to do. I second the poster who said that it was intense but not really painful.

I grew up worrying about how in the world I'd ever have the kids I hoped for - since you hear so much about how awful labor is. I understand that many women experience it this way and I feel so sad about that.

To up my chances of a good experience, I took classes that taught me how my body works, how to help the process along instead of fight it, how to avoid interventions that lead to pain and trouble. Best decision we ever, ever made - to take Bradley classes. Do please find an instructor you click with as they are all different. (Bradley classes are NOT taught in hospitals - the rare one may include some Bradley ideas but you want the real deal! I believe the link is www.bradleybirth.com - might be .org? They are small group classes taught in the instructor's home.)

If you know what to avoid, what your options are, how your spouse/partner can help you - you are well on your way to a much easier time. It doesn't guarantee you a pain-free labor but it most certainly can reduce the pain at the very least.

Stay home as long as you can - there is a chart in Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way (by Susan McCutcheon-Rosegg) that helps you figure out where you are in labor - what to look for in many ways, not just timing and length of contractions. My contractions were the length and time between so that I should have been much closer to birth than I knew I was. They were long enough and close enough together but I KNEW (on my first baby even) that they weren't strong enough to get a baby out of me. We hung out at home til I was unsure if/when the contractions were stopping.

Walk and walk and walk (during labor). Rest between - just sit wherever you are and lean forward onto your partner's shoulder (my dh kneeled in front of me when I sat on the couch, chair, bed). Drink plenty of water, just sips every few minutes. Stay as relaxed as humanly possible - I tried to go limp during contractions. This helps immensely!!!!! You want your head, your arms, your stomach (especially your stomach!) to just HANG down as you lean forward. Have your partner stroke your arm gently (I liked down my forearm from elbow to wrist, over and over, lightly - kind of like "any stress/tightness/etc. down and out"). If things got intense, I'd just kind of chant "muscles working, muscles working" because that is WHAT IT IS! If you think "ouch! OUCH!" and tense up, it will be awful. If you go limp and let your body work, it will be so much better, I promise.

Everyone is different - listen to your body. I felt best (during contractions) to be sitting and leaning onto dh, as limp as possible. Kneeling over a birth ball. Sitting backwards on the toilet, leaning on the back. Eyes closed, going limp, thinking or saying things like loose, limp, open, over and over.

This honestly worked so incredibly well for me that I was shocked myself. Pushing was tiring but no worse than running a long way - your leg muscles "hurt" - you can feel them and you are tired but you are ok. Ring of fire at the end (as baby crowns) was a sharper feeling and really the only part of labor that I'd call painful. That is over quickly.

I have helped two of my friends through their second labors and used the same Bradley techniques I learned. I really cannot recommend it highly enough. I know I'd not have had the wonderful births I had without learning those techniques/that information.

Fear will only tense you up and that makes the pain worse. You can do it; women have done it forever. Just learn what to avoid, what to do to help yourself, how to relax, how to work with your body. You can do it!!!!!

[scrapadoozer]

Let me start by saying I know I have a very high pain threshold but my labor was very manageable. I had an on again off again 40+ hr all back labor most of which I stayed home for. I did not got to the hospital until I was ready to push. I had an unmedicated birth with a pressure episiotomy and not for one second did the pushing phase cause even a bit of discomfort for me. It was just this awe-inspiring, life-changing experience with absolutely no pain. You just never know how your labor will be! I fully expect my next labor to be totally different than my first. Good luck to you! I hope you have a fantastic birthing experience!

[pickle it]

Liv- congratulations on becoming a mother! I agree with many of the above posters, relaxation and confidence are the keys.

I also grew up terrified of the idea of labor and giving birth, uh uh not me no way. I would rather die. Because of movies and tv and all the screaming and drama.

By the time I was actually pregnant I had learned a lot about the strength of women around the world and throughout all of history, not just here and now. Obviously, if labor were that terrible, we would have gone extinct a long time ago.

I had a great childbirth instructor (NOT from a hospital- they teach you how to lie down, shut up, and demand your epidural) who was also a hypno-birth instructor. I homebirthed with a midwife and my hypno-birth doula, in complete confidence and very peacefully. My contractions were less than 5 minutes apart for the first 12 hours and not painful at all. It was like being squeezed just to the point of pain, then slowly released. My DH said when I had a contraction, I looked like a deflated balloon-completely limp and not moving. I was really tired, but not in serious pain. When the midwife said, if you want to have the baby, you can push whenever you want...I pushed. It hurt a lot. I said to myself, you have to do this, get it over with and you will have a baby. Yes, crowning was really, really painful, but it lasted for just a few moments.

I had more pain the next morning than through the whole labor and birth.

[mwherbs]

I am a real pain baby, my mother went to New York instead of staying around when we had our first because she did not want to see me in labor. a hangnail like the one I have right now will bother me constantly. And yet I was fine in labor- it is a different type of pain and as someone else has said comes and goes with a rythm. I had 2 natural hospital births and 2 homebirths- key things are feeling safe- low light, don't be reading or doing math don't be responsible for filling out the paperwork. cover you head if it is too light, ask for what you need simply or get it for yourself. Get in a shower and see if that helps- I don't even really know how to talk about the quality of the pain as it is unique to birth- I know that the more fear I had and the more pain I had and the longer it took. So one of the first things to do is to surrender to labor- you are doing what you want to do, give birth to a baby.

[LoveChild421]

Take it one contraction at a time

This was the best advice anyone ever gave me! It hurts- I know there are some women who have non-painful births but for me- yes it hurt- my water broke before contractions started then after it broke they started coming one minute apart and lasting one minute long! This lasted for 18 hours- however they stalled at one point then got incredibly intense at others. BUT I just took each contraction as it came and tried to get through it- and I did- you just have to turn your brain off- don't try to reason through it- don't say "well I'm 4 cm and it took 6 hours to get here I can't do this anymore!" don't look for a way out- don't allow yourself the option of "getting an epidural if you can't take the pain" because you will end up with the epi. Most importantly remember you CAN do it- it will hurt but you are STRONG and you will be so happy you didn't get pain meds when you experience the rush of euphoria that comes after birth and lasts for a week!

also WATER- being in a pool of warm water was like heaven- it helped so much when the contractions were so intense I didn't think I could take it!

[Belle]

nak
Somebody asked me after my dd was born if labor was the most painful thing I ever felt. I said no. When I hurt my knee the previous summer it hurt worse. My contractions started out two minutes apart and stayed that way throughout my entire labor. (about 11 hours) The contrax did hurt but it was bearable pain. They didn't feel any worse during tranistion, I was just a little more emotionally fragile right then. I stalled at 9 1/2 cm for awhile and i felt pushy. They threatened me with a c/s if i pushed. That was the worst part was to not push. Once i started pushing that baby was out in an hour. i was actually surprised when a baby came out. :LOL i was totally caught up with pushing i had lost all sense of time and why i was there. it felt good to me to push. though, i didn't have a birth orgasm or anything like that.

[mesecina]

I would also add to my previous post that I was expecting it to be much worse than it actually was. In fact, we didn't get to the birth center until 45 minutes before my daughter was born because I kept waiting for it to be unbearable and it just wasn't. Finally, I could feel her head descending and I said "we have to go NOW" and was only there about 10 minutes before starting to push.

[clavicula]

God bless you all

Thank you ladies, you just cannot imagine how inspiring and encouraging your posts are for me!
Thanks for the great advices, and keep on saying them, I am here to read and learn from you!

[mattemma04]

Yes, the labor pains do hurt but I found them to be no worse than really bad cramps.
What I noticed is it can hurt A LOT more when you are not able to follow your instincts and do what you feel is is best like positioning,eating,where/who your are with during your labor.

My first labor/birth was unassisted, and I was alone for the most part in our apartment till the last hour. I found the most painful position possible for me was laying down in bed(any postion in the bed). It hurt so bad I did it only once for less than a minute. It can also hurt really bad when you have back pains during to the postioning on the baby.

As long as you are free to move,eat,drink,or WHATEVER YOU NEED it will be tolerable. I am a total wimp when it comes to pain but was able to labor/birth a 9.6 lb girl and a 9.8 lb. boy. You can do it too! Think positive thoughts and remind yourself that each labor pain is opening you up to help get your little one closer to birth.

[WinterBaby]

I second the previous poster...
First part of labor grew quickly uncomfortable for me but okay... Active labor hurt, but still okay. Transition was very bad for me - it was well over 24 hours later and I was tired - would fall asleep between contractions and so they'd come over me like a steamroller unexpectedly. I was also in tranistion a looong time with a cervical lip left. Finally after a couple transitiony hours AROM was suggested to try to bring the baby down onto the cerivix. I was hesitant, asked if that wouldn't make things hurt more and I dreaded that I was at a point where I couldn't take it if it got worse. There were suppressed smiles as it was explained to me it doesn't get worse, lol. They were right, there was no pain change in contractions. There was meconium staining in the waters, not heavy but not light either. Between the concern the baby may be becoming stressed and that after more than 30 hours of labor I may have been at the limit of my endurance there was some push to get the baby born. So there was some attempt to help push past the lip, and that hurt more. Hands in there messing with cerivix at full dilation = ouchy! Pushing felt alright (not great) tho, so I was encouraged to try that a while to see if we could bring the baby down a little faster. But not too long, then we felt I should lie down and rest, wait, conserve strength, and I was encouraged not to push. This quickly became excruciating as I was foolishly following this try not to push advice when the real undeniable Need to push began to wash over me, LOL. When I finally snapped "how am I supposed to NOT push?!" after being told don't push, relax, I think there was suppressed laughter this time when that meant by all means, we ought to be pushing, lol. The attempt not to push when every fiber was screaming push was the most horribly painful bit of the whole labor. (Try to never ever do that ;-)Pushing then felt energizing and good if totally having the unstoppable quality of a freight train. Crowning burned, but I held myself, slowed down and feeling that head peeking between my fingers I think was totally distracting, so not so bad as I had heard from many. And my 3rd stage while longish, wasn't anything to draw my attention.

[Penelope]

With my first, it was *all* back labor, which is considerably more painful. I had an epidural after 20 hours of active labor because I was exhausted and she was still hours from being born. I was disappointed, though.

With my second, the first 15 hours or so were terrific: early labor was easy, and active/second stage labor was fine. I was on top of the contractions, I labored well, I went in the tub, it was all good. That was about the first 8 cm.

When the baby shifted position and became posterior... that was much worse. I didn't have a break between contractions, which made it more painful. And the pain was worse. I got scared, my labor slowed down. I had another epidural. But I needed it, I think. Although my midwife and her partners tried to change his position (my midwife had her hands completely inside, gripping his head, trying to gently turn him) they couldn't get him to budge - he was wedged in there.

After he was born by C-section, they found that he was 9.5 pounds, which was why he'd been tough to turn. Had he been smaller or positioned differently, the whole delivery would have been different.

Plus with both of them I threw up a lot and that wore me down and made me somewhat dehyrated.

My point... I think "standard" labor is totally doable without drugs. Back labor, for me, was a different story, although some women have great deliveries even after back labor. My own opinion is that it's great to try for natural delivery, but allow yourself to use other interventions if it becomes necessary.

[huggerwocky]

Hm, looks like I'm in the minority here, I thought labor pain was the worst I ever experienced in my life ( worse than a fracture or migraine) and I would have taken death gladly over it.

[clavicula]

Originally Posted by huggerwocky

Hm, looks like I'm in the minority here, I thought labor pain was the worst I ever experienced in my life ( worse than a fracture or migraine) and I would have taken death gladly over it.

Hello, huggerwocky, would you like to go into details? Did you labor at home or hospital? What had happened to you exactly?

[wendy1221]

I have had 2 babies. My first was completely natural (thanks to a great Bradley class!). My second I ended up w/ an epidural after being at 9 and still contracting for over 4 hours. I was definitely fighting labor that time. Ds was 2 weeks early, we had no one to watch ds1 while we were in the hospital, so we had to wake him up and bring him along. I would have been fine w/ him being there if we had planned it and I had explained things to him. But I was afraid of scaring him since I hadn't explained things to him. I didn't trust my doctor, the hospital here is awful, etc, etc, etc. I know my labor stalled b/c I was fighting it. My first, I just let go. The epidural was THE worst thing I have ever had to go through. Seriously. It was bad. My doctor even asked me if I felt like I was depressed or having PTSD at my 6 week check b/c she knew how badly the epidural affected me.

Labor hurts a lot, but it's not terrible. I have gallbladder problems when I'm pregnant and that is MUCH MUCH worse than labor. So was the abcessed tooth I had last fall. I've never broken any bones, so I don't know about that. But I don't think you can compare these different kinds of pain, b/c labor pain is completely different from anything you have felt or ever will feel. It's just different. It builds up and then disappears completely like it was never there, so you have a break to recover between contractions. My contractions started out at 4-5min and went to 2-3 very quickly, so I had a lot less time to get used to it than most people, but I still agree that it is very doable. I didn't think pushing hurt at all w/ either of my kids. It felt good. That might sound weird, but good int he same way finally peeing after you've been holding it in so long you thought you'd burst does. oes that make sense? It's like having a really big poop. Sorry, but it is. I didn't have the "ring of fire" at all w/ my first, but I sure did w/ the second (and I felt it even though the epidural had made my legs numb, I don't think it had done much to my belly and vaginal areas.) That did hurt (hurt is not a good word. it burned) quite a bit, but it's over so fast, I wouldn't call it traumatic or unbearable. THe most important thing is to relax and let your body take over. Just completely let go of all control and forget about anyone else around you and what they think. Just go w/ the flow.

And take a good natural childbirth class. Like Bradley or one taught by a homebirth midwife. None of those crappy hospital classes! You still have time!

Oh! And my first was posterior compound presentation (face up, hand up at his face) 8lbs 8oz, pushed for 2.5 hours, and my second was also posterior, so I had really bad back labor (spent most of labor on my hands and knees) but he turned face down before he was born. 9lbs 4 oz pushed for 5min or less.

[CRosewhisper]

I labored and birthed my son at home unassisted. Water broke on a Sunday was in labor til 12am Friday when my son was born. The *pain* wasn't bad at all, I was just tired! There wasn't anything "remarkable" about the pregnancy, labor or birth. So for me the feelings were intense, very manageable and not painful.

I've had dental work, gyn procedures done without pain meds of any kind so I'm not a stranger to pain, I just HATE needles AND I'm allergic to novocaine.

I never took any birthing classes, just read a book on natural childbirth and joined the cbirth yahoo group. Not to mention a ton of research but that's not really related to labor *pain*.

[crunchy_mama]

I would just like to second what Kirsten said -my experience was very similiar. I took Bradley classes, which helped as I knew what to expect and it prepared my husband- who wasn't too keen on reading all these birth books.

I went to the hospital- well I wanted to wait until contractions were 3 min apart -I kept telling dh it was time, but he didn't believe me because I wasn't writhing in pain. When I got out of the birth pool he could tell I was more serious- I completely recommend one- I bought a kiddie pool- the best $40 I spent. I had my doula come to my house and check me, just to be sure I didn't want to go to the hospital unless I was a 6. I was about at a 7 when she checked. Started transition in the car- rode with my knees in the floorboard head on the seat. It was funny when I got to the hospital to check in there was another girl already there in labor. They came to get her first , but she told them to take me first as I was in full blown transition and vocalizing through contractions- she wasn't even acting like anything was happening. I was an 8-9 when the nurse checked. This to me was almost perfect timing. Although I had hoped to be at the pushing stage when I arrived- however I didn't have to wait long.

Anyway, sorry for the long story. But you need to decide how long you want to be there at the hospital. I wanted to wait as long as possible- secretly hoped I would *accidently* have him at home- my doula had had 3 homebirths and is training to be a nurse. I had heard or read somewhere that when contractions were aobut 3 min apart you are at or close to transition- so that is what I went by.

The best advice I can give is LISTEN TO YOUR BODY. I had always read stories about women walking around during 1st stage labor. I even called my Bradley teacher and that is what she suggested. However, I didn't feel like walking- I was exhausted and wanted to try to rest. I am so glad I did as by the time I made it to the end of labor I almost said yes to the vacuum- I was soooo tired hadn't slept in 2 weeks developed this awful rash(PUPPPS). The only thing I was yelling at the end of labor was I WANT A NAP!! Anyway, listen to your body. Get yourself familiar with different relaxtion positions, pushing positions and see what works for your body when in labor!

You can do it!!

[lizabird]

Originally Posted by pickle it

I had more pain the next morning than through the whole labor and birth.

:LOL Me too!

Okay, you also asked about when to go to the hospital. My childbirth instructor said to pretty much labor at home until you just couldn't stand it any more. That's pretty much what we did. When I felt like moaning through some contractions, I thought, gee, maybe it's time to get my butt into the car and get to the birth center. I am glad we didn't go any earlier, it was very easy to labor at home, move around, eat, drink, do whatever I felt like doing. Transition in the car was no picnic, but I would still do it again exactly the same. The less time you spend at the hospital, the less time they have to make decisions for you and try to intervene

-lizabird

[wendy1221]

Oh yeah, when to go to the hospital. With my first, I wasn't sure. My doc said when the contrax had been 4 min apart for at least 2 hours. I had been in labor exactly 2 hours when I called her at midnight. My contrax had started at 5 and were at 3 when I called. My OB was very Bradley friendly (she recommended Bradley to all of her patients.) She asked how I was feeling and I said "I changed my mind. I don't want to have a baby yet. Can you make it stop?" She told me it was time to go to the hospital. I was only 2 when we got there, so they almost didn't admit me, but they looked at the contraction monitor and said they thought I should stay. I don't know what the heck those things measure or how accurate they are, but I've never had a contraction that didn't max out the litle chart thingy. I was pushing at 2:00, less than 2 hours later.

My second, I went to the hospital when my hot water heater ran out of water. I was at 9 when we got there. About an hour and a half after my first contraction woke me up. They were VERY intense and VERY close together. More so than my first even.