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What made you decide to leave your son intact? - Page 2

post #21 of 73
Two things! A great deal of respect for mother nature and an awareness to question circumcision which was given to me via an ex-husband who was angry about being circumcised.

I asked a similar question almost exactly a year ago. If you would like to read the posts (and there are many) here is the link http://mothering.com/discussions/sho...d.php?t=151410

I think it could be very informative to parents who haven't given it much thought to read stories like these.

I look forward to hearing more stories.
post #22 of 73
I remember having a conversation with my mother at some point when I was a teenager about circumcision (I don't know how it came up!). She told me that had I been a boy, I would have been circumcised... but then when she was in the hospital after having me, she saw the circumstraint board, and turned *immediately* to my dad and said "if we have another child, and it's a boy, he's not being circumcised." (They didn't have any other children, tho.)

Then, when I was dating dh, we used to go to bookstores (we are dorks!). One day he picked up a magazine and read an article... in retrospect, I realized he picked up a copy of Mothering! :LOL At any rate, after that day, he was very anti-circ, and actually went and confronted his mother about why she had him circumcised! She parroted out all the old stories, and when he informed her that they had been discredited, she just shrugged and said "Well, it's still cleaner. You will thank me one day." (That day hasn't happened yet, obviously!)

So it was pretty much a non-issue - both dh and I knew we didn't want to circ. We found out more about it in Bradley classes when we were pregnant with dd, which further solidified our decision.

Now, I'm really glad that it was dd who was born in a hospital, and ds who was born at home, if for no other reason than we didn't have to worry about circumcision being performed without our consent.
post #23 of 73
I remember as a teenager hearing my mother say that if she had known what circumcision was, she would never have allowed it to be done to my brother. She said they took him in another room and then she heard terrible screaming and they brought him back. She had no earthly idea what circumcision even was. She always said if she had another son she would never allow it -- she only had daughters after that tho.

I have known a couple other people over the years to say circumcision is unnecessary. When i went exploring on the topic myself, long before I was ever TTC, the AAP statement that it's a cultural choice rather than a medical one was plenty of information for me. Why would I subject my child to a painful surgical procedure for no medical reason?

DH is circ'ed but when I brought up not circ-ing with him he pretty much listened to my opinion on it and said "okay." I think he didn't have an opinion one way or the other before I told him about it, but he agreed pretty readily that he didn't want to put our baby through any pain!
post #24 of 73
Quote:
Originally Posted by AllyRae
What made me decide? He was born with it, so he gets to keep it! Simple as that! I just figured if males weren't meant to have a foreskin, why would 100% of them be born with one?
:
post #25 of 73
Seeing pictures of a circumcision being performed in a book I was cataloging. I worked at the Kinsey Institute in Bloomington, IN as a student. It left quite an impression on me. I did further research when I was married and we were talking about starting a family.
post #26 of 73
I never gave it a second thought. I figured mother nature put it there for a reason, who am I to say she was wrong in doing so.
post #27 of 73
I have always been opposed to them for as long as I can remember. I can remember 2 instances from when I was quite young (under 10 years old) that helped make up my mind. One was when I was around 8 and I saved up my pennies to order this anitomically correct baby doll from a magazine. When he arrived he was intact (I SO wish I knew where I found that doll!) and I asked my mom why he didn't look like my brother did. I can't remember her answer but I do remember it was a change of subject LOL. I just thought the doll looked natural and like he should....then a year or two later we went to visit my aunt and uncle who had just had a baby boy. I can replay this memory clearly in my mind. My aunt asked my mom to help her change the diaper because she needed help with circumsicion care (I wondered what this big word meant), I asked my mom what a circumsicion was and she showed my my mutilated nephews penis and how she had to apply vaseline to his raw wound so it wouldn't stick to the diaper. I don't remember if I verbalized it or just thought it but I know I at least though, "well why did they do that to him, what made him like that?" When we got home from that visit I remembered my doll and somehow put 2 and 2 together and realized the tragedy of it all. My nephews poor mutilated penis oh so vivid in my mind. I then thought to myself that I would never do that to my child (ren). It was many years later before I thought on that again. I was in nursing school on on a OB rotation, I was having a meeting with a teacher when I was told a child would be coming in for a circ. they offered to let me watch and I said no way, that I was against that. I stayed in the next room over and continued to talk to my teacher....then I heard the screams, the blood curdling screams, the most horrific thing I had and still to this day have ever heard. Screams of pain...I felt like I was going to be sick and I left the room. I mourned for that poor child and for the un-necessary pain he was left to endure. I couldn't make myself go back in his mothers room (hard to do since I was working on the OB floor) for fear I would yell at her in an attempt make her realize the horror that her son had been through. That only solidified my stance all the more and I swore to myself then and there that I would NEVER do that to my son. Years later when I was married and became pregnant I told DH how it was and explained to him that it was not an option. He was reluctant at first since he was circed but I showed him the photos and the stories and told him it would only happen over my dead body.....

So here I am with 3 intact children, able to learn of the horrors from others experiences and to save my own children the unnecesary pain and suffering that is part of this barbaric procedure.
post #28 of 73
We left the little one the way he was born.

We had the doctor and the lady from the Lamaze class confirming that a circumcision is not necessary. I am also not circumcised myself and therefore from experience that everything still works just fine that way.

We had some people mentioning that "it" looks much nicer when being circumcised but I think the trade-off for that is way too big. If you are being judged by someone on how your penis looks, that other person has much bigger problems than what you think.

Christoph
post #29 of 73
I just figured it wasn't my penis, therefore it wasn't my decision :LOL
post #30 of 73
Two reasons: 1. I come from an intact family. My father and brother were left as nature intended them, and my brother told me he was happy he wasn't circ'ed. My father passed away when I was 11 years old, so I never found out how he felt about it. I don't think he would have told me; his generation was pretty close-mouthed about such things. :LOL
2. My midwives were very well-informed and educated us about the issue. I was especially impressed with my Jewish midwife who went against her religion and left her sons intact. I figured if she could leave her sons whole, then so could I.
I am soooo happy that I never circ'ed my sons. They're grown now, and they like their bodies the way they are.
I am also elated that so many young mothers are questioning circumcision and are choosing to leave their sons whole. Congratulations to ALL of you!
post #31 of 73
I worked as a labor & delivery nurse before my daughter was born, and I used to have to assist on circs.... It was terrible-- I used to hide in the bathroom so I wouldn't have to be there.... The baby boys just cried and cried.... I would hold them during their "observation period" afterwards and cry myself.... It was not even a choice when Harris was born-- my DH said "if he wants to be circ'd, he can do it himself when he is older." BTW, DH is circ'd and his mom told me she wished she had never had him or his two brothers done either....
post #32 of 73
dc #1 was a girl, so it was a non-issue - thankfully, because for the first few months of her life (before we got an internet connection at home) we were frighteningly mainstream - other than breastfeeding.

at some point well before i got pregnant with dc #2, dh and i watched (well, started to watch) one of the circ videos that is online - i couldn't watch it, and dh almost vomitted. decision made.
post #33 of 73
It was a simple one - they preach equality in the USA and there aren't enough highly skilled doctors to do a female circumcision.
post #34 of 73
for me it was simple, I think it's barbaric to mutilate baby boys.
post #35 of 73

not to circ...

My son was 10 weeks premature. Lucky for everyone especially him, he was big for his age and had no problems. While I was pregnant, my husband and I had decided not to have him circumcised. Being different was never an issue...it does all come down to pain. So they may use anesthetic these days...so what....the healing process, still must be terribly uncomfortable. We were catching some flack from a lot of people about many of our choices during pregnancy; however the final straw was the following event that happened....believe or not believe.

One of my girlfriends and I were sitting in the NICU with my little 4 pound son. I was breastfeeding and we were talking about "stuff". She asked me if he was going to get circumcised; and I said "I just don't think I can do it, 'it's' just so tiny right now; and I just can't stand the thought of this sweet little thing facing anymore trauma than he has already". At that moment, he pushed his little head off my big ole nursing breast with his tiny little hands, and with his eyes still closed, he looked up at us and smiled! We both laughed so hard! My friend (who doesn't have children) has told the story 100 times! She says no one can ever convince her that babies only smile because of gas! He knew that he did not want to be circumcised...that was enough for me!
post #36 of 73
Quote:
Originally Posted by qrsmom
One of my girlfriends and I were sitting in the NICU with my little 4 pound son. I was breastfeeding and we were talking about "stuff". She asked me if he was going to get circumcised; and I said "I just don't think I can do it, 'it's' just so tiny right now; and I just can't stand the thought of this sweet little thing facing anymore trauma than he has already". At that moment, he pushed his little head off my big ole nursing breast with his tiny little hands, and with his eyes still closed, he looked up at us and smiled! We both laughed so hard! My friend (who doesn't have children) has told the story 100 times! She says no one can ever convince her that babies only smile because of gas! He knew that he did not want to be circumcised...that was enough for me!
post #37 of 73
After I understood what it is and what is involved it was enough for me.
The speil I use is this: Its not medically necessary, its not culturally necessary and it hurts terribly. If they want to discuss it more with me then I'm open to doing so.
post #38 of 73
It hurts.
It's not my penis.
He was born with a foreskin for a purpose. I would not compromise his future sexuality.


My sister's midwife encouraged her not to circ her son, I was 16 and always wondered why, so I researched the topic when my first son was born.
post #39 of 73
Male or female, I would not mutilate the genitals of my child under any circumstances.
post #40 of 73
It's just so mean

Take care,
Tara
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