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What made you decide to leave your son intact? - Page 3

post #41 of 73
my dp voiced the usual "concerns" when i said that I didn't want to circ our soon to be son. I explained all the new medical research yadda yadda...His line was that he'll look different than him and be confused. I said how often did you and your father sit around and compare penises? Then I told him he'd have to accompany our child for the surgery and also change every diaper and care for the wound b/c I wouldn't. Needless to say we have our first generation intact healthy baby boy!
post #42 of 73
As I posted earlier I was lucky, and it just wasn't an issue at all for us.

But I totally agree with everyone who has said, 'His body, his choice'.

It is so incredibly basic. Why in the world ANY parent thinks they have the moral right to alter another person's genitals for their (the parents') own reasons - I will just never in a million years comprehend that.
post #43 of 73
Quote:
Originally Posted by shaylahc
I just figured it wasn't my penis, therefore it wasn't my decision :LOL
That was my reason, too.
post #44 of 73
I was lucky. Dh (being intact) wasn't going to push me on the issue - - but my mind was made up long before we met. I decided in high school that I was never going to circ any boy I had. When I had my first long term boyfriend (and I got over the weirdness of looking at his penis) I realized that I felt really sad everytime I saw that thin scar. That was it.
post #45 of 73
DH is intact.

I was raised Jewish, but recall that my family said my cousin's bris was one of the most horrible, traumatic experiences of their lives. I just saw no reason to do it - and my family was incredibly supportive.
post #46 of 73
my husband wasn't... there wasn't a need.... "if it ain't broke, don't fix it."
right?
post #47 of 73
before I was pg, I thought we would circ because "everyone does it".

Then I learned the following:

the foreskin protects the penis as much as your eyelid protects your eyeball.

and...

the foreskin is as firmly attached to the penis as your fingernail is to your finger.

Our son was born at home, and is intact!
post #48 of 73
Quote:
Originally Posted by AllyRae
What made me decide? He was born with it, so he gets to keep it! Simple as that! I just figured if males weren't meant to have a foreskin, why would 100% of them be born with one?
I agree
post #49 of 73
The first reason was that I didn't want anything done to the baby that would hurt. Then I found the mothering article that you can now get in a reprint. That was all the info I needed. I just knew I didn't want to do it, and the article gave me all the reasons why.
post #50 of 73
Quote:
Originally Posted by AllyRae
What made me decide? He was born with it, so he gets to keep it! Simple as that! I just figured if males weren't meant to have a foreskin, why would 100% of them be born with one?
Allyrae, My DH was born without a foreskin and his adoptive parents tried to have the foreskin repaired but it did not work, in his medical charts it is listed as a birth defect, he thinks it is a defect too, but still is happy with it anyway. We have decided that what ever way our son is born that is the way he will remain, no unneccesary procedures for our DS.
post #51 of 73
If it's wrong to do to girls, then it's wrong to do to boys

It HURTS

It aint broke, it don't need fixin

Born with it

Ain't mine, I shouldn't have a say

Oh yeah, I live in Canada, so, I have waaay more important things to do with $150-$300 than have my son's genitals ripped, crushed and cut.

yeah, when I was pregnant with DD *thought she was gonna be a DS for a while* I asked Bio-idiot if he wanted his son Circd. He said in his charming neo-nazi intelligent way "F no! We aint no *insert anti-semetic term here* my mom was a crack ho and just probably went along with the drs when I was born, or the drs did it themselves without bothering to ask because my crack ho birth mom couldnt be bothered to take care of it right" *nurture over nature Pandy Nurture over Nature...genetics only play a tiny tiny role..*

I was against it from I'm guessing a long long time, just never clued in that it was something to do.
post #52 of 73
Long story short: I made the connection between FGM and MGM (I finally figured it out on baby #2.....fortunately baby #1 was a girl.)

So I told my wonderful dh, "we're not circ'ing him," and dh completely agreed. No discussion and/or argument necessary.
post #53 of 73
I haven't read the other posts, so forgive me if this is repetitive in any way.
I have 4 brothers; one older and 3 younger.
The older was circ'd, I was not (yes, I'm a woman), the next was not and the last 2 were. So one brother out of 4 was left intact. Unfortunately, he was born just about 42 years ago and the rule of the day was to retract and clean under the foreskin at every diaper change. I remember all the infections (I was 5 when he was born) and when my 1st DS was born over 28 years ago, I didn't hesitate to sign the consent form. You will find my regretting post in the sticky...

Fast forward to my babies; DD was born 5 years ago and I'm afraid if she had been a boy, she too would have been circ'd :
DS#2 was born 18 months ago, but while we were waiting to be connected with his life mom, we had a relationship with another young woman who was making an adoption plan for her unborn son. During this time we received paperwork outlining a birth plan and on the plan was circ. It never occurred to me that we might have a say in whether a son would be circ'd. Since there was a chance we would be asked for our input, I went ahead and started researching. It didn't take more than about an hour of research to come to the conclusion that I would do whatever was in my power to prevent the surgery. We were very fortunate in that once our son was born, his life mom left the choice entirely up to us.
post #54 of 73

Thank god we didn't have a boy

When I was growing up my mom and I talked about circumcision as part of the whole sex discussion. Her pronouncement about intact males: "Yuck - stinky"

So when I was pregnant with DD (before we knew she was a DD) had anyone asked me if we would have circumcised, my answer would have been "of course" It's what you do right? No one ever described it as anything but a minor procedure which helps to keep the penis clean and free of disease.

I lurked on this board for 5-6 months before I joined, and mainly hung out in the breastfeeding area. I think it was Loving My Babies that had an anti-circ in her signature and I clicked on one of her links.

Yikes.

Understand that I've never been with an intact guy, so I have no personal experience. I went into this with one perspective. But boy did those sites change my mind.

Then I came to this forum and started reading. I read and read and read. Frankly Speaking is a font of information and I can't thank him enough on the behalf of any boys I might have in the future (as well as everyone else who posts here). No son of mine will ever be circumcised. I have since been able to convince DH. He doesn't do half the reading I do but I showed him a video and we went through his argument step by step. He finally realized that "because everyone else does it" is a pretty silly argument, especially when it concerns lopping off part of our son's penis.

But again, I'm grateful I was able to learn so much prior to the birth of any sons. In fact I've learned a tremendous amount from MDC in general, on a variety of topics
post #55 of 73
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jordansmommy
Then I came to this forum and started reading. I read and read and read. Frankly Speaking is a font of information and I can't thank him enough on the behalf of any boys I might have in the future (as well as everyone else who posts here).

I want to thank you for your post. It's posts like yours that put fuel in our tanks and keep us going. Alone, I would just be some crazy guy but this is a group effort. I am just a cog in the machine. It's all of the support I get here that makes my information believeable and acceptable. It's the openess of people like you that is bringing this to a quick end.



Frank
post #56 of 73
not sure if i ever posted here. i don't think so...

well, my dh is, but his father is korean and he isn't. my father and brother weren't and my mother's theory had been it is painful and unnecessary.... so i agreed with her and didn't do it.... my dh was fine with it--he obviously doesn't think there is anything wrong with him, but was willing to go with whatever i wanted on this one....
post #57 of 73
It never occurred to us to do it. The males in both of our families are intact. I never realized it was so wide-spread. I live in Canada, though, it is less common here.
post #58 of 73
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brisen
It never occurred to us to do it.
That's the most wonderful thing I've read all day
post #59 of 73
I ended up having daughters, not sons. However dh and I talked about it ahead of the pregnancies and both of us agreed no circ. He's from India, a Hindu, and it is unheard of for any men in his culture to be circed. They consider it mutilation. My reasoning is that it belongs to him, so he can chose what happens to it (or not) when he comes of age.
post #60 of 73
I had three girls....


but, had my first been a boy, we would not have done it. And that is saying a lot. I did the whole "you are the man, you decide" speil, and then within 24 hours, thinking about it more and more, I told him "well, you are the man, so you can decide, as long as the answer is no..."

I didn't know anyone with children. We were the first to get married, the first to have babies. I didn't know about AP or NFL or anything. I just knew that no one was going to cut my baby. I thought hmmm...there must be a reason for it.
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