What is the most outrageous thing someone has said...

[pamamidwife]

about pregnancy and/or birth to you?

I'm collecting some crazy quotes.


For me, the clincher was my sOB who told me at one prenatal visit:

"If you breastfeed, your breasts will look like the women in National Geographic"

[aja-belly]

my grandmother's sOB found out she was nursing and told her "only *that 'n' word* and poor white trash do that"

aja

[lynsage]

"If you lift your arms over your head, it will wrap the cord around the baby's neck."

"I want you to get on the internet and find a month-by-month chart of how much weight it is safe for a pregnant woman to lift and stick to it."

"Stop trying to do so much! You are NOT going to lose this baby!" (after i slipped on a TINY hill and very lightly landed on my butt at two months pregnant)


-all from my mom.

[lynsage]

Oh, and I forgot this one:

More than one person asked me "Can your midwife do a C-section at home if something goes wrong?"

Although to their credit, they all laughed at themselves when I reminded them that there is such a thing as driving to the hospital in case of a real emergency.

[Ligmom]

I had one lady tell me she didn't believe that smoking or nutrition mattered during pregnancy, then she said:

"I mean, I believe that some things affect the baby...like raising your arms above your head and stuff...but not whether or not you smoke or what you eat. That's ridiculus."

[Shonahsmom]

Upon telling my child's father that I was having a homebirth he replied "Well the only way I'll be there is if you get the midwives that can do epidurals at home."

*sidenote... he was there, there was no epidural and for being a jerk he really did pretty well at the birth.

[captain optimism]

My mom asked me whether I should be wading in the ocean up to my knees in the second trimester. What if some bacteria, uh, crawled up my leg to my womb? she wondered.

[AugustLia23]

When my DP was very(~8months) pregnant, she was walking down the street when someone walked up to her and told her that she shouldn't be walking around, because she would squish the baby's head!

[ldsapmom]

Pam, I like that, sOB -- I should have figured that out sooner!

After pushing for over three hours, my sOB came in, assessed the situation, strapped a vacuum on my baby's head, and pulled him out, leaving me with a 3rd degree tear. At my six week check-up, while burning off random scar tissue with silver nitrate, she told me, WORD FOR WORD: "The miracle of birth is epidurals." I was crushed. My baby had been 9 1/2 pounds. No, "Way to go, Mama, for pushing him out!" That was when I was hit with the realization that this woman did not give a fig about me. In response I said, "I did not get the epidural, remember?" To which she said, "Oh yeah, that's right."

GRRRRR.

Never an OB for me again! Definetly a pivotal moment in my growth as a human being!

[Hayes]

My OB, actually said to a mom in labor, actually in transition, but only 7 cm, ( I was the doula),"Sweetie, you just aren't the only person in the whole wide world today."

I almost fell over! She told her this because mom was only 7 cm and OB was about to leave the room.

I am having a homebirth this time around.

[Tummy]

Words from a girlfried of mine whos 36.5 week prenatal appointment I went to with her. Mind you they did not do her gluclose test until 32 wks and found she had diabetes, so just 3 weeks into her *new* diet.

OB-"Although your blood sugar level is doing great and you seem to have your diabetes under control now, we can schedule your induction for Monday.

Mother-"But, I will not even be a full 37 weeks on Monday. Is it safe to induce me 3 weeks early? Will my baby be okay?"

OB-"Of course, we do not want your baby to get too big in your belly now, it will be hard for you to push him out."

Mother-"Well according to my u/s last week he is only 6lbs now. How much bigger is he going to get? My daughter was 7.9lbs and I had no problems pushing her out."

OB-"He may gain a few more pounds in the next two weeks. It is just safer if we induce you before he does get too large and you need to have a c/s due to his size."

Poor mommy left thinking she was going to give birth to a 10lb baby. Had her son at 40w 2d and a WHOPPING 7.4lbs... NO INDUCTION!!!

[Tummy]

OMG!!!! HAVE TO ADD THIS ONE.. OMG!!!!

I was present for a friends birth 3 years ago. This woman had just (2mo prior) gotten out of the military, had prenatal but just moved from another state. No OB would take her being she was 36 weeks and did not have her prenatal records, they were in the mail. So we go to the hosp -mind you she is fully dialated and pushing when we get there-... this is what the sOB said to her as she was pushing!!!!!! :

"Not that this is going to make a difference in your birth, but... (stop pushing for a min, I must cut you, your just too little to push this baby out) do you have any insurance?"

WTF?!?!?!

[Kerlowyn]

My first birth was a transfer from a HB to the hospital for failure to progress (3 days I tried at home) I was in the labor room, with my HB midwife and my back up OB's midwife, both wonderful ladies. It was 8:00 PM, I had been on pit all day, s-l-o-w-l-y making progress. However, it was not fast enough for the hospital staff on call sOB, who was this nasty, vile old man. He came into the room, spoke harshly to the MW, put on a glove and stuck his hand in my vagina without asking! He then grabbed the baby's head and turned it and pulled him down, finishing the baby's rotation. The pain is something I'll never forget. He mumbled something to the midwives, and looked at me and said "if you don't have this baby in 30 minutes, I will be back here to do a c-section" Needless to say, I was terrified, scared out of my mind. I pushed and pushed fueled by the fear, not the place I wanted to be. 30 minutes later my 10 lbs 4 oz boy arrived, the fear was gone, we were all so happy....
Then Dr Evil came back in, and with a finger shake to the midwives, and a smirk on his face said.....







"I told you *I* could get that baby out in half an hour..."

[Crystal_clear]

Great thread! Wish I could say I was shocked by some of this, but I'm not.

When I was pregnant with my first, I ran into a woman I know who was also pregnant - with a surprise baby 17 years after her dh's vasectomy. :LOL

She was so excited to have found an sOB who would "let" her VBAC, but she had been warned about the possible need for induction because "my body might forget how to go into labor".

I reminded her that her body hadn't forgotten how to get pregnant.

[wendy1221]

I'm not sure if this counts, but once I had a woman say to me that since I thought labor was manageable and that I didn't think most women *needed* drugs that my contractions must not have been nearly as painful as hers. : This was after she was telling about her labor and making it sound so awful and said that she was cussing at her dh during every contraction until she got the epidural. (and she got the epidural after 2 hours of labor and had a 15 hour long labor) Um, IMO, if she was able to talk during a contraction, then her contractions weren't as painful as mine. And that's all I have to say about that.

When I was pg w/ my first, this car repair guy had had my car in his shop for over a month. I was starting to get angry. I explained to him that I was 8 months pregnant, supposed to be on bedrest and I was tired of walking everywhere, including to my OB appts. He told me that a pregnant woman shouldn't be driving anyway. :

After ds was born, every single person I told he was over 9 lbs ASSUMED immediately that he had been a c-sec. I made it very clear that I only pushed through 3 or 4 contrax and that it was no problem to push him out. It really annoyed me.

I also got the don't lift your hands over your head thing. How ridiculous!

I also had someone ask me how I was sure I had enough milk after I told her I was exclusively breastfeeding my 20lb 5 month old at the time. I just looked at her like she was nuts.

Other than that I just got the standard wierd stuff that everyone gets. I'm sure I'll be getting it again soon.

[Full Heart]

My mil is full of crazy quotes. She told me her dr said that babies aren't born with sinuses. That a babies sex keeps changing inutero right up till the time they are born. Thats why you can have u/s be wrong. She was also too nervous to bfed longer than the 6 weeks the dr told her to. Whatever the heck thats supposed to mean.

I have also heard the easy labor thing. Because I have unmedicated births at home women tell me my labors must be easy.


Michelle

[broodymama]

I went into preterm labor with DS at 30 weeks and was on bedrest until 36 weeks. My midwife checked me at 36 weeks and I was 4 cm dilated. I was sharing this with some friends and one said "oh, good, you can get your epidural as soon as you go to the hospital - you can go now!" She was surprised that I stayed at 4 cm for 3 weeks, and was shocked that I didn't get an epidural. This is the same lady who wants to become a midwife.

[Simply Nurtured]

Many of you know this, but I had unmedicated births, last 2 no monitor, no IV, in hospitals, really good births overall. The last one was only 3 hours, not even a hep lock. My DH makes an awesome doula.

When pregnant with our 2nd child, we took refresher childbirth classes and the CBE told us that whatever breathing worked, use it, not to get caught up in trying to do different ones at different stages.

While in labor (2nd birth, 1989) I was coping extremely well, and found a pattern of breathing that was really working for me and I was in a great ritual, and this bleached blonde blue-eye shadow wearing nurse got close to my face and told me I was "BREATHING WRONG". And she proceeded to try to teach me the "correct" method.

I was close to transition, and I turned to my DH and whispered "Get her the H*** out of my face or I will have to deck her."

I am normally very sweet and gentle. :LOL

[runes]

From some very dear friends of ours:

"Oh, you're plannning a homebirth? How are you ever going to get the house as sterile as a hospital?"

We promptly told them that a hospital is nothing close to sterile and I'm more afraid of the germs there than the friendly germs I'm used to here in my own home!

:LOL

[Storm Bride]

Are you counting c-sections?

The most outrageous thing anybody said to me was about my c-section...although there have been a lot of other comments as well. The winner:

My sister, when I went to see her in the L&D room upon delivering her son, said "you and mom & Karen (my SIL) are all pathetic"...because we had all had emergency c-sections, instead of vaginal births. (I think it bothered me even more than it might have otherwise, because I was put under while stating that I didn't want a $#*% section, and my sister had asked for one repeatedly throughout her labour.)