What is the most outrageous thing someone has said... - Page 12

[BookGoddess]

One of my immediate relatives told me "All women should have a c-section like you. It's a lot less painful than pushing the baby out."

HOW she would think it's less painful is beyond me esp since she hasn't had a c-section

[Peppamint]

I agree... that is a TERRIBLE thing to say.

[minkajane]

"...and here we have the Grand Vagina Canyon. Hear the echo echo echo echo echo..."

OMG, where's the "I just wet my pants laughing" smiley?

[lunasmommy]

Originally Posted by Lizzardbits

"Are you going to be all hippie-like and hug trees and then be all zen-like and sit crossed legged and hum? Can I be there to see it come out of your whoha? Do we have to chant, though?" ....well I guess if homebirthing means that i am a hippie, then it is a good thing that I like the Grateful Dead and wear tie-dye and hemp. Hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

Yeah,I've gotten the "well you must want to have a natural birth because your a hippy" deal before.

AHH!! SO thats why I couldnt resist the urge to pack my "I miss Jerry" shirt in my birth stuff!!!

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by Lizzardbits

From a pregnant former co-worker, "I can't breastfeed this baby, because i dried up last time, and there may be dry milk in there still." (ahhh so that is where powedered milk comes from DOH!)

Off topic, I wonder if it would have been possible to convince that woman to ask her doctor to get the dried milk out of her breasts "so it can be used in formula"? The argument would go like this: Lots of woman end up stopping breastfeeding because they "ran out of milk". So the milk must have "dried up" like yours. Lots of people, even doctors, claim that formula is "just as good as breastmilk" so formula must have the same stuff as breastmilk so it must contain breastmilk. Formula usually comes in a powder form so it must be dried breastmilk. Therefore doctors can take dried breastmilk out of women and give it to formula companies. The formula companies repay the doctors by giving them formula samples to give to the women. She could even ask her doctor how many samples of formula she/he gives out and how many clients end up being able to breastfeed for a full year if she didn't believe the arguments!

[emma_goldman]

The sOB on-call when I was in labor came in the room when I was chanting on a birthball and said "am I crashing the beach party?" (because I was sitting on a "beach" ball?!).

And then he said I wasn't progressing because I wasn't laying in the bed. "Your chanting is not going to help make this baby come."

I was so glad he wasn't there to catch the baby.

[JanetF]

You go right ahead, brewgirl.

[phoebemommy]

This is of a few days ago...

"Why would you want to do that to a child?"

regarding our choice of an unusual and controvercial (but not unheard of) name for our future DS. This from MIL, who both smoked while she was pregant with DH and had him circumcised, which he now resents. I hadn't judged either of her choices until now.

[KittyKat]

Once before I was married/had kids (but already knew I wanted to birth without drugs and breastfeed my babies... like my momma did for us!) I was babysitting two little girls. The older of the two came up and asked me if I was going to have kids. I said I hope to get married and have kids someday.

She asked "When you have kids, where do you want your cut?"
I said WHAT?
and she said when the baby comes out, do you want a cut like this (indicating vertical incision) or like this? (indicating low transverse incision)
I said I don't want a cut at all! (Sorry, but I'm not going to LIE to the poor deluded child!)
and she goes then HOW will the baby get OUT? Poor girl thought *I* was stupid... I said she should ask her mom about it. To this day the thought of that poor child horrifies me.

I was asked if the midwife gives you an epidural at home before. I just smiled and said, nope, I don't need one.

When I was pregnant with my first, I had been married 5 months, DH & I were thrilled. I told one of the people I worked with at the vet's office and he said "ruh-oh!" like it was a BAD thing... OK I know I look young and all, but geez! I said "My husband and I are very happy!" and he immediately changed his tune and offered the usual congratulations etc. Jerk.

I was told by my sOB at my pp appointment that:
I needed to get on birth control pills at 6 weeks
That the NON APPROVED pills he gave me were safe to take while breastfeeding because "the dosages are so low these days" (hello, they're HORMONES, by definition they are a substance that works in very tiny amounts!)
That it was "irresponsible" to have kids close together in age

I opened one of the sample packs, just to read the package insert. It had microscopic print with all kinds of technical jargon, but the laregest print ALL CAPS and BOLDED said "DO NOT TAKE THIS PRODUCT WHILE BREASTFEEDING!"

I never went back, and I guess I'm "irresponsible" because I already had 3 kids by the time DS1 was 3 years old. They're the light of my life and I am honored to be their mother. They seem to be doing OK, everyone always says my kids are beautiful, cute, sweet, enjoyable to talk to, and that I have a lovely family. Except that doc, he told my MIL when he heard #2 was a girl "Oh good, now they have one of each they can stop" (Yeah, that's why we had two kids, to get a complete "set") MIL said our family decisions were between DH and me (GO MIL!!!) and sOB said "But surely as his mother you could put a word in..." MIL realized that was not the opportune moment to tell him #3 was already on the way and we were all happy about the new blessing. Some doctors should just NOT be allowed within 50 miles of a pregnant woman...

Kathryn

[minkajane]

Originally Posted by KittyKat

Once before I was married/had kids (but already knew I wanted to birth without drugs and breastfeed my babies... like my momma did for us!) I was babysitting two little girls. The older of the two came up and asked me if I was going to have kids. I said I hope to get married and have kids someday.

She asked "When you have kids, where do you want your cut?"
I said WHAT?
and she said when the baby comes out, do you want a cut like this (indicating vertical incision) or like this? (indicating low transverse incision)
I said I don't want a cut at all! (Sorry, but I'm not going to LIE to the poor deluded child!)
and she goes then HOW will the baby get OUT? Poor girl thought *I* was stupid... I said she should ask her mom about it. To this day the thought of that poor child horrifies me.

I am so heartbroken by that story. It's SO sad that C-section is considered a "normal" way to birth a baby, and even more so that a child doesn't know any other way!

[Storm Bride]

That's so sad. I always have so much trouble talking to my kids, especially dd. I don't want them to feel guilty for all the difficulty I've had dealing with my c-sections. But...I also don't want them to think my scar is "normal". I don't want them to think that babies have to be cut from their mother's bodies with a scalpel. DD already knows that babies come out of their mothers through the vagina, and that "something went wrong" (ie. mommy is gutless, but I don't tell her that part) and the doctor had to take her out through my stomach. But...it's still hard to talk about and find a way to explain it to her. DS1 seems to "get it" remarkably well, so I'll just hope that I walk the explanation minefield as well with my little ones.

[ramlita]

Originally Posted by KittyKat

She asked "When you have kids, where do you want your cut?" I said WHAT?
and she said when the baby comes out, do you want a cut like this (indicating vertical incision) or like this? (indicating low transverse incision)

Reminds me of those stuffed animals that are adult dogs or cats, and you reach through a slit in their belly to remove their puppies/kittens.
My first thought when I heard that story was that the girl's parents were uncomfortable talking about the facts of reproduction, and only told her about that kind of childbirth.
I can imagine how tricky it would be instilling a trust of birth in kiddos who know about c-sections. I was born at home, and we raised goats and sheep and saw how the mamas chose quiet, dark times and private places to birth- unassisted and successfully! I think it helped me trust my body through pregnancy and childbirth (and nursing!) immensely.

[Phoebe]

From a male coworker when I was about 35 weeks or so and planning home birth:

"What if your baby comes out retarded?"

I hollered at him and told him not to EVER say anything like that to a pregnant woman again. Later I thought...would my baby be any less retarded in the hospital? Please!

He was really very curious about my pregnancy and asked alot of questions which I enjoyed. This one was just really not very well though out on his part.

[littleteapot]

Originally Posted by ramlita

Reminds me of those stuffed animals that are adult dogs or cats, and you reach through a slit in their belly to remove their puppies/kittens.

My daughter got one of those as a gift a few months ago! We call it the "c-section dog".

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by Storm Bride

DD already knows that babies come out of their mothers through the vagina, and that "something went wrong" (ie. mommy is gutless, but I don't tell her that part) and the doctor had to take her out through my stomach.

That was pretty much my own understanding about my birth until this year when I specifically asked for details. If it's any comfort I never had a feeling of causing my mother hardship or of having been at risk for death.

[LizaBear]

Originally Posted by pamamidwife

What is the most outrageous thing someone has said...
about pregnancy and/or birth to you?

From my mother, about my own birth :

- That I was a lazy and stubborn baby, even before I was born.
- That I caused her hours and hours of "needless" pain


FWIW - I was a vaginal, forceps delivery in 1977. I've seen photos from when I was less than a day old - I've got a major conehead (MAJOR, as in at least 3 inches of cone) - with the cone pointing off to one side, as well as bruising around the side of my face.

[LizaBear]

Oh, and another gem from my mom.

- That I don't know what "real" labour feels like.

I've had 2 completely unmedicated births, one at home. Her rational ? That my first was born in 3.5 hours, and my second in less than 1.5 hours. About 5 hours total labour - therefore I don't know what "real" labour is like !

[lunasmommy]

Originally Posted by minkajane

I am so heartbroken by that story. It's SO sad that C-section is considered a "normal" way to birth a baby, and even more so that a child doesn't know any other way!

Ohh, i thought she was talking episiotomy....but that clears things up....so sad!

[Peppamint]

Originally Posted by LizaBear

FWIW - I was a vaginal, forceps delivery in 1977. I've seen photos from when I was less than a day old - I've got a major conehead (MAJOR, as in at least 3 inches of cone) - with the cone pointing off to one side, as well as bruising around the side of my face.

My mom had the enema, shave, spinal (her stepMIL told her it was a must, no one advocated natural birth but she hated the spinal and went drug-free with my two brothers), episiotomy w/forceps, push lying down hospital birth and always told me all about it- but never in a way to blame me, but to say that she didn't like the things DONE to her. I'm sorry your mom makes you feel bad- and short labors can be very intense!

[LizaBear]

Originally Posted by busybusymomma

My mom had the enema, shave, spinal (her stepMIL told her it was a must, no one advocated natural birth but she hated the spinal and went drug-free with my two brothers), episiotomy w/forceps, push lying down hospital birth and always told me all about it- but never in a way to blame me, but to say that she didn't like the things DONE to her. I'm sorry your mom makes you feel bad- and short labors can be very intense!

I WISH she'd only told me to tell me, but no - from her this information is all "YOU did this to me" and "it's YOUR fault I had to have stitches" etc.