Spinoff: SAH Mamas who homeschool

[MamaAllNatural]

I would really like to discuss this topic. I feel like being a SAHM w/kids in school is very different than being a SAHM while homeschooling (I did have my oldest in school for 7 months so I know :LOL). It was a big decision for me to homeschool because it felt like an even bigger commitment to SAHMing. It scared me a little to be honest. :

I feel like I still do a lot of driving around because we do a many, many extra curricular activities, run errands, go to the park etc. It doesn't feel as bad as I thought it might. Things are more laid back. However, having the kids with me contstantly is really hard sometimes. I find it's much harder to ever get a break and it is near impossible to keep the house clean.

I'd get more specific but I want to wait until I know if this thread is going through or not.

Anyone care to discuss?

[Wilhemina]

Hi MAN,

I can relate. Even though I knew I would still have her sister at home, it felt like deciding to hs my kindergartener this year was a huge committment to remain a SAHM. I really considered the decision much more carefully/thoughtfully than when I first became a SAHM when dd1 was born. Maybe because I had a much better idea of what I was getting into!

I also really considerd the H part of SAHM. What I mean is dh and I considered buying a larger house, but ended up doing some remodeling/re-arranging to prepare this house. I just felt like the house really needed to work for us, both on a practical level and an emotional one. (We are re-working a little bit now, needs change...)

[meowee]

I feel like homeschooling is a job. Like a volunteer job. It is a lot of work! I sometimes have trouble relating to SAHMs who don't homeschool because they seem like a whole other type of fish. My sister is a non homeschooling SAHM.

What's funny is that I tend to be in awe of non homeschooling SAHMs b/c their lives seem so much harder than mine, and they tend to be in awe of me because they think homeschooling is so much work.

[GoodWillHunter]

MAN, I want to homeschool, but I'm terrified that I wouldn't get anything done with all five kiddos around... Also, sometimes they are so demanding that I just have to escape out the door and , I don't know, go get the mail. With the twins coming up to kinder, I'm thinking more and more about it... I'm just hoping I can give them everything they need, kwim ?

[charmarty]

OT GWH you have twins? WHere the heck have I been all this time??? How old are they? Did I know this and forget?

I am HS my dd's. It IS hard to relate to other SAHM's who are not going to HS. I also feel a teeny pang of envy when they talk about how much they look foward to thier kids being carted off to school so they have some peace. But it soon fades!
We are going to take this one day at a time. It is the only way I know how right now.

[Mallory]

I do understand that having a bunch of little ones around is hard work, and even 5 and 6 can still be so difficult. But it seems like we ship off the ones that can really start to help or at least really take less care. During that year between 5 and 6 it is amazing how much your child grows up. Not that mine wasn't just in the food coloring , but he also rarely acts crazy a the store and can get ready for bed by himself. And while he and the 3 year old do cause problems together, he is a great help with the one year old I babysit for (even if it is just getting the 3 year old away from her, those two are eternally yelling about something).

Especially half day kindergarden, would really be more of a hassle for me then having him here. He is growing so fast.

[wende]

Ugh, half-day kindergarten is the worst! I always felt like I was issolated because of it. I couldn't leave the house after my older kids went to school because I'd have to get my ds off to school a little bit later but then I couldn't leave after he went to school for fear that I wouldn't be home in time to get them off the bus. I'm really happy to be homeschooling now as a SAHM, and the only time I really feel like "man, I need a break" is when I don't feel well and it would be nice to be able to take a long nap...though, honestly, I'm probably more able to do that with the big kids home to help out with the littler ones.

[Wilhemina]

Very interesting! I always imagined I might like half day kindy, in the right school, of course. I certainly see your point, though!

[CerridwenLorelei]

I hate to think how bad it would have been the last few

months if they had all been in school with the back issues ( ruptured disc) Ds only had his permit at the time and man it would have been hard to load them all up go to three different schools etc when I could barely walk

Granted we are behind on text work now but that is easily made up ..( I think LOL we keep varying off the books and back to some hands on stuff LOL)

[shaywyn]

Don't have anything to add, really, just wanted to post in the new forum and feel special! :

I have only experienced SAHM with kids in school by watching other people, including my sisters. My dd has never been to any outside schooling, preschool or daycare or public school. We are very busy with our schedule (homeschoolers get to say "our schedule", ain't it cool ) but I think getting up early and getting everyone off to school, homework, mandatory parent volunteering (notice the conflict of terms, LOL!), etc. would feel a lot more like busy work and not supply half the fulfillment I get from the running around we do in pursuit of her education. Kudo's to the mom's who do it everyday I realize there's tremendous satisfaction and achievement in participating in your child's education, public or homeschool, but it's definitely different in my mind, jmo.

I do get stressed when worrying about financial matters, buying a house, etc. I am so committed to homeschooling and hope that we can manage for me to be a fulltime SAHM for as long as it takes. Ideally I want to have my own business that does well, that my children can be involved in along side me. Homeschooling does make me feel like I "have" to be a SAHM (or only have a part time job), like I can't just quit my sahm job and go back to working, kwim? I know it can be done with working parents, but I don't know how we would do that. Plus, I feel so strongly that I need to be here with my children, I just do.

As far as a break, what is this break thing you speak of?? How do I get one? Can I buy it? LOL!! :LOL

[MamaAllNatural]

Shawyn :LOL

Char! : I can't believe you didn't know GWH has twins! Sorry, that is just too funny.

GWH, I only have three kids (but one is like ten kids wrapped into one - does that count as more?). I did feel the way you're feeling before I started though. I find it's easier in a lot of ways. It was kind of torturous getting three kids aged five and under totally ready at 6 in the morning! Especially with kindergartners the "break" doesn't feel as much because by the time you get home from dropping them off you basically have to just turn around again to pick them up. We're unschooling and very laid back. It's going really well. My ds (and dd though she's not "school aged") is learning tons. I don't regret it at all.

I do need to figure out how to get more breaks though. That would be good.

Oh, one more thing,

Originally Posted by charmarty

I also feel a teeny pang of envy when they talk about how much they look foward to thier kids being carted off to school so they have some peace. But it soon fades!

Yes, that was very weird for me to hear over the spring vacation. I had a lot of moms saying that to me and they know I HS and I just felt like um...how am I supposed to respond to that? They know I have my kids with me all day everyday the way they're doing for this break that they can't stand. I tried to feel cool for being able to not hate being with my kids. I don't want to offend anyone though.

[farmer mama]

[QUOTE=MamaAllNatural]it is near impossible to keep the house clean.
QUOTE]

The amount of wear and tear on the house is amazing. It does help to let them help as part of their HSing though. I love how our days can be so relaxed, or sometimes we have crazy fun days where we go into the city to hit some museums. Now that dd is school aged it is funny to go places like the aquarium or children's museum, and she is the only big kid there.

[TwinMom]

My girls were in school for 3 years and have been home for 2.5 years. I thought our lives would be much more relaxed after we started homeschooling...I was wrong! We are so busy doing all kinds of things--playdates, park days, co-op, art classes, gym classes, etc. You guys know what I'm talking about! OTOH, I can't even imagine trying to get them up at 6:30 a.m. every morning, get them ready for school, and then have to wake up the 3-year old and the baby just to drive them to school every single morning. When I had to pick them up in the afternoon it always interrupted Alec's nap; I would hate to have to do that with the baby now. We live too close to the school for busing but too far away for walking. I'm so glad that even though we have a busy schedule, it's one we CHOSE instead of one we're TOLD to adhere to.

[Fieryfly]

It seems that once we hit different milestones in our family life, my choice to stay at home is re-evaluated. This fall I will be homeschooling my youngest for K, while I still realize that this is commonly a time when mother's take on some sort of work outside the home. I think it saddens my DH that we are starting all over again with the decision to homeschool, and not doing the ritual "teary-eyed first day of school" thing while Mom gets back into the working world. However, our lifestyle would still be far from normal no matter what I did because that is just the type of people that we are.

As a SAHM, I have always felt that if caring for the kids starts getting easier, I NEED to be doing something else to validate my time at home, yk? When we only had one child, I went to school for a couple hours a week. Then DD came along, so I had a reason to "just be a SAHM" until she was about 2. I started taking classes online again, AND homeschooling my oldest. That didn't work out too well, so I took a little over a year to just homeschool/SAH. Now that DD was older, homeschooling became a little more routine, I decided to do home daycare. So here I am homeschooling both kids, doing home daycare, and also trying to do the housewife thing too. :P

[Mom4tot]

This can be a tough balance. I am trying to hs (we are not quite unschooling...although some days we do), take care of the house, play with the kids...grocery shop. I struggle sometimes with finding the "perfect" balance. I get feeling overwhelmed and that I'm not doing anything very well.

[MamaAllNatural]

Originally Posted by Mom4tot

I struggle sometimes with finding the "perfect" balance. I get feeling overwhelmed and that I'm not doing anything very well.

Me too.

[musingmama]

its been very interesting to read this thread!
My ds is just about two, so the whole school decision is still some years away.... but I am pretty much leaning towards unschooling, but I still have some anxiety about it. But to me, it seems to make sense, that kids learn best IN the world, not removed from it...
Do you all have some support groups?
Anything you wished you had known before you started to homeschool? It seems like such a HUGE step, but I guess if I see it day by day, it seems less daunting....
SAHM is such a strange title, esp. considering moms who are homeschooling/unschooling... we need to invent another term i think! nahh, better yet, I guess we don't even need them!

[Wilhemina]

musingmama,
Good questions! I do have a support group that I have been involved with since dd1 was not quite 4. When I realized that I couldn't even find a "Mother's Day Out" program that I was okay with I knew that hsing might be my choice when kindy came around, so I found a group (through a friend) to just kind of explore the idea. I still spent a great deal of time and energy making the hsing choice the spring before dd1 was to start kindergarten, but having been involved in the hs community helped me have a complete picture of that choice to compare with the more concrete school alternatives.

I guess I would have liked to have known that finding ways to get time to myself would not be as difficult as I feared. My fears about the housework falling by the wayside, however, well founded!

[musingmama]

yeah, finding a group and getting to know the community first sounds like a great idea. I am starting way early, thanks in part to all you great hs'ing mamas here on MDC!
ohh- if housework gets even harder with hs'ing, I fear my house will get swallowed up in our mess! its impossible now to keep up with it all! It doesnt really bother me, tho! There are more important things in life!

[phathui5]

I have a four year old ds and a one year old dd. We're going to be starting homeschooling officially with ds this coming September. For me, I think homeschooling will be easier because I won't have to deal with the school's schedule.