New Bipolar Thread! - Page 9

[Bad Horse]

Originally Posted by chirp

It was through his own discovery of what the meds did to him, and my discovery of the person he was without them that made us decide that they really weren't for him.

just to ask...i know you said meds are n't the only answer...but are they apart of everyones answer...like would you still classify someone who didn't need meds as bipolar, or would you say that everyone who has mental illness needs pharmaceutical treatment, even if its low dosage in conjunction with alternate lifestyle?

-j

Thanks for the clarification on his situation.

I don't think meds are the only answer for everyone! As AidynElyMama said, she's managing her health care naturally.
I just think it's something to be extra cautious about, and to make sure you have a support system in place who can also watch out for you, like a partner or good friend.

I think one of the major issues that happened with my friend I mentioned was that she had been doing well managing her health care naturally, but there were some times of upheaval (major move, job change, etc) and it threw off her management. But the main thing was that there wasn't anyone there who could tell her when her behavior became erratic prior to a major BAD THING happening.

I think that is probably key, is to have someone who will never use it to hurt you, but that you can trust implicitly to let you know that you may need to look at what's going on and if maybe somethings not working right.

I have that in my two best friends who also happen to have BPII. WE can trust each other in that way.

I'm glad you came back and talked more about your dh, chirp. AND how cool was your therapist for putting it into those terms!

Best to you and your dh.

[Bad Horse]

I didn't put into that previous post clearly: about having someone you can trust. I think you also have to be able to agree prior to anything happening that you WILL listen to them if they see something funky and that you will take it seriously.
It's so hard in the midst of mania or depression or rage or whatever to see it for what it is. It's hard until you get to the other side and can look back at it. So that's what I mean by being able to trust someone with that perspective for you, just in case you cannot see it. Or even if you can, you can get trapped by it.

[AidynElyMama]

Originally Posted by cthulhugrrl

I didn't put into that previous post clearly: about having someone you can trust. I think you also have to be able to agree prior to anything happening that you WILL listen to them if they see something funky and that you will take it seriously.
It's so hard in the midst of mania or depression or rage or whatever to see it for what it is. It's hard until you get to the other side and can look back at it. So that's what I mean by being able to trust someone with that perspective for you, just in case you cannot see it. Or even if you can, you can get trapped by it.

Totally, well stated.

just to ask...i know you said meds are n't the only answer...but are they apart of everyones answer...like would you still classify someone who didn't need meds as bipolar, or would you say that everyone who has mental illness needs pharmaceutical treatment, even if its low dosage in conjunction with alternate lifestyle?

Meds aren't the only answer, although for most they are necessary I think. Not tolerating certain kinds of medication doesn't mean he's not bipolar, just that that medication wasn't for him. One thing I've learned here is that the medication game is basically roulette, and you have to try and try until you find a cocktail that works. My BP isn't too bad until I start rapid cycling, and so I've always found it easy to say, well, I don't really need medication. The sad truth is, though, that the few months of good are followed by several more of bad and until I started managing it properly, those months were hell for those around me. Someone on here said that finally finding the right medication was like waking up, like life was ok before, but suddenly you don't know how you lived that long feeling that way. I can't say I'm there yet.

I'm sure there are more people than we think who have the same stigma attached to medication and don't want to take it. The reason I went naturally is that I had a hard time accepting that I needed medication, and just couldn't bring myself to take that first dose, partly because it meant an end to breastfeeeding and I couldn't do it. However, now armed with the facts, when I am completely done BFing, I plan on re-evaluating my current program, seeing how well it really is working, and if I and my doc think that I could feel better on a prescription medication, then I believe I would be ready to try it. Right now I feel good, I still have bad days, but they are far outlapped by the good.

My program consists entirely of lifestyle changes and completely natural supplements. All vitamins, minerals, and aminos. Stuff that you find naturally in your food and body. The natural approach is looking at what a BP person is missing chemically and then adding that into your system to even it out. I take the fish oils because those are wicked awesome for your brain. Since the problem starts there, it's best to give it these to really give it the juice to run best. I take Tyrosine and Taurine, amino acids, to continue the progress of evening out my brain. The Taurine calms, and the Tyrosine acts almost like an antidepressant. Getting both ends of the spectrum so to speak. I take a packed multivitamin to get all the good stuff my body needs, and I take an extra big dose of B12, which helps the depression. I also take a natural form of lithium when I feel the rapid cycling start coming on, but I've been able to mostly do away with it. I've also been able to cut way back since I first started, and now take all of my stuff in the morning instead of throughout the day.

The lifestyle changes I mentioned are mostly in the way of ordering my world. I move from calm into the crazy areas most when I get stressed out from life situations, so I've learned to keep a good schedule in order to cut back on the stress. I targeted what made me most crazy, and fixed it. (IE: I hate my house not being clean, so to not stress about it I made myself a chore chart for days of the week). I also take at least a 1/2 hour for myself daily to read or knit or get on here, anything to detox a bit and relax. Exercise, even in the form of a walk during that half hour, always helps. It's really just learning to put your body into a natural rythem so that when the big stuff that would normally throw you off comes up, your body is calm in its routine as opposed to already feeling stressed in the daily grind. It was difficult at first, but now it's second nature, and it feels good to have the tools to help myself.

Anyway, whatever you and your husband decide, I hope that he reaches that level of calm that Autumn described. BP is a long haul, but I think that when you get to that place, all the trial and error with the medication and stuff is worth it. Good luck

[questionable]

Originally Posted by cthulhugrrl

Do any of you get tired of the commonly held misconceptions regarding mental illness, especially bipolar disorder?

Im a little late here but I have to agree with this compleatly. It makes it so much harder to accept a bipolar diagnosis, I would rather have diabetes. I would not be so afraid to tell people that I have diabetes. But this is messed up because health wise in many ways I am better off (way less needles).

It is sad becouse people with mental illnesses expecially bipolar are often treated like they should just be able to control theirselfs. Becouse they are not usually halucinating or hearing voices, people are just like oh, calm down. Relax. Get ahold of yourself.

I was acually afraid to get help becouse I was afraid that if I was bipolar social services would take my daughter away. When I told my pdoc that I was worried about that she was shocked. She said that they wont but I still worry. Even though I know it is stupid and if I am a good mother then it does not matter that I am bipolar. And other then letting my daughter (shes 2!) watch cinderella three times a week I am a good mom LOL.

Originally Posted by AutumnBreeze

I have some pretty good news


I saw my pdoc on Friday, it was a very short visit. I have been on 150 mg of lamictal for a little over 2 months now, and i am, wait for it.....stable!!!! She wants to see me again in 3 months, pretty much for a refill. I hope it stays that way! I'm very happy with the progress I've made, and in less than a year, I have gone from depressed, to manic, to diagnosed, to back and forth cycling, and now, stability.

I hope now I can be the support I needed and received for others around me.

Yay! Isnt it nice to start feeling stable. I am not compleatly there yet, I am on my third week of 100 mg. I go up to 150 on Monday. But I know that feeling. It is nice.

For me at least becouse this is the second time I have gone on Lamictal I have been really suprised at how much quicker it seemed to help this time. I already feel really stable. Last time I did not feel stable for about 3 months after I started taking it. But I am only 6 weeks in and I am soooo much better feeling. I am even socializing (consistantly) again! It is so much like waking up, my mind feels clearer less fuzzy, but not in a manic way. I wish I had gone to see a pdoc sooner. But I am so glad I went!

[Autumn Breeze]

questionable, that's great, Ihope the 150 treats you well

I too was super worried about losing my children because of being depressed, and then the anxiety attacks and hypomania started, and I was soooo scared. My husband promised me that it wouldn't happen, and if anyone tried, we'd fight it, and we wouldn't lose the kids, because no matter what, I was a good mom. I'm sick, but I'm still a good mom. It helped a lot when he reminded me, and I was able to calm down. the more stable I began to feel the less I worried. Now, I don't worry about it anymore, and know that if I do get to cycling again, that I'll be ok, just because mom is bipolar, they won't take my kids. I haven't given them any reason to.

[AidynElyMama]

Originally Posted by questionable

And other then letting my daughter (shes 2!) watch cinderella three times a week I am a good mom LOL.

My kids are Sleeping Beauty fanatics themselves! Our crimes sound similar, but not punishable.

Good luck with the 150, when I quit breastfeeding I'm pretty sure I will switch over to the Lamictal and see how it treats me. I hear good things.

[brownay2]

Hi everyone:

I guess I better come out of hiding from the couch and post that I have bipolar, and post traumatic stress syndrom or so they say.

Honestly it is just a little hard to accept this title. For years I have suffered, have been on so many meds paxil,effexor,zoloft,celexa,wellbutrin, they would work then stop within a month or two then onto the next it felt.

Now I am on Lamictal 100 mg, cymbalta 90mg a day. I do not feel better. I am angry all the time, moody, and just feel awful. What I was not thinking was the havoc these meds are taking on my body. I am looking at it right now as if I can't take this while pregnant, or breastfeeding safely then I should not be on it. I am not preggo, or breastfeeding but this is my thoughts right now on this.

I am planning to get weaned off both meds at my next appointment. If I feel just as bad as before then there is no sense in taking these.

I guess I am looking for non-drug help. Maybe a mother figure for myself, a grandmother for my children, a friend for myself where I feel like I can be myself without being judged. I get lonely and the pain from my past just is there and will not go away. Today you treat your children like I was treated your butt would be in jail. I have physical, and emotional scars that I feel will be there for the rest of my life.

I am not wacko but I feel like if certain people find this out about me they will think I am. I might be a tad bit in denial thinking maybe they are not to sure what in the world is wrong with me so they see some symptoms and right away put a tag on me, then medicate. I feel like an experiment and honestly I am tired, exhausted, and just plain overwhelmed at this point. Here are some main issues I have had for a very long time.

- anxiety while driving
- chest pains all the time
- mood swings throughout the day
- anger
- tired all the time and would sleep alot if I was able to
- emotional eater

[Autumn Breeze]

: Wow, I don't know what to tell you.

If you weren't on the medications more than a month or two, it may not have been enough time. One of mine took a couple weeks, another took almost 3 months to really begin feeling it (happens to have been lamictal)

If you have been with the same pdoc (psychiatrist) it's time to move on, and now.

Some people with bipolar respond best to ONLY a mood stabilizer, and don't usually need an anti-depressant. I was surprised to learn, that even people who lean toward the depressed side more often, can sometimes benefit best from only mood stabilizers.

Talk therapy, support group, therapist, however you can talk out what you're feeling.

And just work through the acceptance phases as they come. Denial is a hard one, angry isn't pretty, but you can do this.

Lean on us, when you need us.

[Bad Horse]

Originally Posted by AutumnBreeze

If you weren't on the medications more than a month or two, it may not have been enough time. One of mine took a couple weeks, another took almost 3 months to really begin feeling it (happens to have been lamictal)

If you have been with the same pdoc (psychiatrist) it's time to move on, and now.

Some people with bipolar respond best to ONLY a mood stabilizer, and don't usually need an anti-depressant. I was surprised to learn, that even people who lean toward the depressed side more often, can sometimes benefit best from only mood stabilizers.

Talk therapy, support group, therapist, however you can talk out what you're feeling.

And just work through the acceptance phases as they come. Denial is a hard one, angry isn't pretty, but you can do this.

Lean on us, when you need us.

Totally what she said.

I'm sorry things are difficult for you right now, but try another pdoc, and don't give up trying to find what DOES work for you, be it medication or whatever you need. You deserve to be well.

Work through your feelings on being "diagnosed", everyone goes through it and it can still be hard even years later. Sometimes, though not often any more, I deeply resent being sick. That my body failed me in creating this illness that I cannot do anything about. But as time goes on the easier it gets, and at this point I haven't had any of those thoughts in a very long time.

I wish I could send everyone here that posts struggling with this type of health stuff to my pdoc. He's so wonderful and I looked a long time for one like him. Unfortunately unless you're in Houston I can't, but it's so worth finding a pdoc you really work well with.

Best to you, please come back and post when you need to. We're all here.

[Autumn Breeze]

Originally Posted by AutumnBreeze

I'm getting really tired again....and I'm hoping that it's just the changes in my schedule. Last time I was tired like this I was quite depressed.

Just wanted to update this, as I had forgotten I posted it. I started taking Floradix iron and herbs I'm on like day 8 or something, and feeling a lot less sleepy, all day long. At least now it's around 'nap time' and 'bed time' that I get sleepy. And I posted in my blog (linked in my sig) about getting out and getting some sun this weekend.

Originally Posted by cthulhugrrl

Work through your feelings on being "diagnosed", everyone goes through it and it can still be hard even years later. Sometimes, though not often any more, I deeply resent being sick. That my body failed me in creating this illness that I cannot do anything about. But as time goes on the easier it gets, and at this point I haven't had any of those thoughts in a very long time.

I totally agree. Eventually you accept it, and that's great, but every now and then you'll get angry again because you're sick. Be it when you cycle, or when you hear something in the news.

For example, my husband and I were hoping to adopt or foster somewhere down the road (we're young, and done having kids) but, finding out that they hold mental illness against you upset us. We are both BP2, so unless we're both stable for YEARS to come (which is possible) then I don't see us being approved for adoption.

But then you remember, it's ok. It doesn't mean it won't happen, doesn't mean we can't apply. If we are turned down, we can focus our energies somewhere else.

It does take a while to get there, some longer than others.

[AidynElyMama]

I totally agree. Eventually you accept it, and that's great, but every now and then you'll get angry again because you're sick. Be it when you cycle, or when you hear something in the news.

ITA. I'm still having trouble accepting it, and it sucks when I'm already feeling so angry for no reason to also feel angry for feeling angry, for being BP, for being sick. KWIM? I hate that I'm not "normal", and sometimes it still threatens to overwhelm me.

The other night hubby and I were watching reruns of nip/tuck and there was a woman who wanted to have her "feline essence" brought out, and the doctor thought she was crazy, but she flattered him and so he did it, and made her face look more "catlike". He does this grand unveiling in front of her friends, who freak out and say what were you thinking, then look at her chart and say, "She's off her meds! She's bipolar you idiot, and when she doesn't take her meds she's crazy!" or something to that extent and I seriously about flipped out. It makes me angry to have a "mental disease", and even angrier when I see misrepresentations like these.

I guess everyone in time comes to some kind of terms with it. For myself, the main thing is I decided I could fight it and be miserable, or find a good path of meds and healthy living that would make it more of a background issue than something I had to be angry with all the time.

Brownay, I hope you find some peace, make sure you update us.

[questionable]

Hi All,
I am having a really hard time all of the sudden. My daughters birthday was last week and I was really anxious but it was ok, everything went great, I did not even have any meltdowns! My mom visited which usually makes me freak out but I was fine.
But then on sunday my mom left and for some reason I got really anxious. Like really really anxious. I cant sleep I cant relax I am going to jump out of my skin anxious. And it is not going away. I called my doctor and moved my next appt up so it is next week now but it is going to be hard to hang on till then. I asked the receptionist person if the doctor would prescribe me somthing and the receptionist said she would leave a note for the doctor. That was a few hours ago, I dont think I am going to get a call back. This makes me angry, my doctor made a huge deal about how she does not believe in toughing through things but here I am toughing it out.

I am so anxious and I dont really know why. I think it is partly becouse i am afraid that the medication wont work or it will stop working. What if it stops working? What if none of the medications work? I want to be a good mother, but I am scared that I wont be. I just want to be stable, what if I cant be. I dont want to have to worry about medications. I want to have more kids. Maybe I shouldnt, what if I get all messed up. What if I am pregnant now. It isnt likely but still. What if my husband gets tired of having such a pain in the ass wife? I am so anxious I have been throwing up. I am so tired of this, I just want to feel relaxed NOT anxious.

The really hard part is that I know that some of this is being caused by the lamictal not compleatly, but I do remeber having this intense anxiety last time I was ramping up on the lamictal. I dont get like this (not this bad) when I am not on medication and it started up about 3-4 days after I upd the lamictal, so it should go away. I have dropped my dose of lamictal back down to 100 in the hope that it will lighten up, but I dont know if it will help becouse I dont think it is caused compleatly by the lamictal, I just think that the lamical is making it stay longer or worse or something. Last time it did eventually pass. But eventually is not soon enought. I just dont know.


I am curious though I was wondering if anyone tried biofeedback for bipolar? I have never tried it but I know it can be helpful for OCD so I was thinking it might be helpful for bipolar.
What about Omega 3s? anyone tried fish oil? flax oil?

[Bad Horse]

Questionable!

I'm so sorry things have been so yucky for you.
That's hard. I would ask for some klonipin, personally, I have found that to work well when I need something NOW for anxiety. Then maybe look at another anti anxiety med to take on a daily basis. I personally take Lexapro for an anti-d and for anxiety. Since I've been on the Lexapro the anxiety problem is under control. I did have a bit of an issue this past weekend, but that was the first time in months I've had any issues. And it was brought on by something specific (dh thought it would be funny to sneak behind my pregnant ass in the laundry room and scare me... Not so much, as he quickly learned.)

Anyway, gosh, that's so hard. I really do hope your pdoc gets back with you soon.

[Autumn Breeze]

I take fish oils, seems to help more so with the down side than the anxiety. I still get anxious, but have Ativan for as needed situations.

[questionable]

Yeah I used to take fish oil for depression and anxiety, it seemed to help some. I need to start taking it again.

Good news though my doc called me and offered to prescribe me ambien and lorazepam (a low dose, as needed). So I got the prescriptions filled. It is good to know that tonight I should be able to relax and get a good nights sleep. There is a big part of me that thinks that a good night sleep or two might help with the whole anxiety thing.

Earlier this morning I moved my next appt up too so I will go in and see the doc next week.
I just want this to pass, I know it will becouse this is not me. I am anxious but this is to a level that is not me, it is almost all consuming, if I stop doing doing things and just think...I cant even describe it. IT SUCKS!!!
Good news though is that I think I do feel a little better today then I did yesterday, hopefully the trend will continue!

I hope everyone else is doing good.

[Bad Horse]

Originally Posted by questionable

I just want this to pass, I know it will becouse this is not me. I am anxious but this is to a level that is not me, it is almost all consuming, if I stop doing doing things and just think...I cant even describe it. IT SUCKS!!!

Oh gosh, I know what you mean about that. I had that for YEARS before the Lexapro, even with just a mood stabilizer. I didn't even realize it was anxiety, really, just thought it was mostly situational.

It's awful, when you start to slow down then it starts to close in. The only way I can think to describe it is that I imagine it's a lot like drowning must feel. Along with all of that came the sleepless nights, the refusal to slow down or stop or I would self medicate in some way because it was too hard to be alone in the quiet of my brain.

I really hope you are able to have a great night's sleep. I think it will help tremendously.
So glad your pdoc followed through for you, that's so important.

Best to you, looking forward to an update tomorrow!

[questionable]

Hi again. I am doing better today.
I got a pretty good nights sleep last night at least. I am not feeling all that anxious anymore but I feel funny. Kinda fragile. Lightheaded. Off. Shakey.
My hands keep trembling and I dont know why. I just dont feel right. It is scary. I think might be becouse my blood suger is all out of wack but I am not sure.
I am kinda worried becouse I feel like I might pass out, which has me scared, I am home alone with my daughter but if I dont start feeling better soon I am going to call my husband and he can come home at 7:30 instead of 10.

I dont know, this whole thing has been really weird for me, I have just felt so weird the last week or so. Emotionally and physically. I have NEVER felt like this before. It has me wondering really wondering about all of this. Bipolar and medications and everything.

I just want to feel more normal. I felt better on a daily basis and was way more functional when I was off of medication compared to now.
But two weeks ago I was doing great on the medication. But I have never felt like this before.

[Autumn Breeze]

has your dosage changed? If you're still working up the Lamictal, I felt like that around 75 mg.

If you're at your stopping point, then perhaps it's too much?

on the other hand, my husband was, totally off after having ambien.

[questionable]

The anxiety did really start to kick in when I upd the dose to 150, I droped back to 100 about 3 days ago and the anxiety has really backed off. It is still in the background, it is there, but way better.
Part of the problem seems to be that I also have some sort of stomach bug. Yay! just kidding. I think that is why I feel so lightheaded and shakey, I have not been able to eat much the last few days. But it is a weird bug. I dont even know. I have never had a bug make me feel like I am going to pass out. I feel so lightheaded.
I just really dont know what is going on with me.

Everything was going so good, finally. And now this. I am really starting to worry that there is nothing that I can ever do to make things better.

[ReadingMama]

Originally Posted by AutumnBreeze

For example, my husband and I were hoping to adopt or foster somewhere down the road (we're young, and done having kids) but, finding out that they hold mental illness against you upset us. We are both BP2, so unless we're both stable for YEARS to come (which is possible) then I don't see us being approved for adoption.

But then you remember, it's ok. It doesn't mean it won't happen, doesn't mean we can't apply. If we are turned down, we can focus our energies somewhere else.

It does take a while to get there, some longer than others.

I was worried about this too. I have bipolar and OCD and my husband has depression. But both of us are stable on meds and have been for about 6 years. We are in the process of becoming foster parents. Our case worker said that people with challenges who are stable and are responsible in taking their medications and seeing their doctors can even be an asset because many of the kids in state custody have mental health issues themselves. Our case worker said they've even had blind foster parents. The thing DHS required is that we get letters from our doctor saying that there is nothing to prevent us from adequately parenting a child. Private adoption agencies operate differently though.