Do you ever feel jealous of your emplyed DP?

[meowee]

Does anyone here ever feel envious of their emplyed DH/DP? I only feel moderately jealous/ forlorn about the fact that he gets to be out and about, doing an interesting job, but it's in my personality to like staying home.

However, I can imagine that someone with a slightly or very different temperment could feel a great deal of jealousy or just have bad feelings.

There have been times that my husband has gotten to do some very exciting, glamorous things while I am home staring at a huge pile of dishes in the sink. lol! I's a those points that I definitely feel a "twinge."

[annethcz]

Occasionally. Mostly, I'm jealous that he has different commitments than I have. He's a little free-er to go out to lunch or engage in activities that aren't child friendly.

At one time, I was also very jealous of the social interaction he gets at work. But I'm finally at a point now where we're involved with playgroups, co-ops, and I do volunteer work. So I feel like I'm getting all of the social interaction I need, which has made a HUGE difference for me.

[dharmamama]

I don't feel jealous of my husband because, to be honest, I am lazy and don't like working! I actually feel bad for him that he is so tied to his job (not that he's excessively tied to it, but, unlike me, he has to go to the same place at the same time every day and doesn't have the freedom to change plans that I do).

However, I do envy him the kid-free social interaction he gets. Even when I am with other moms or dads at playgroup, storytime, playdates, etc., I am still responsible for the children, so I feel like my mind is always divided. Nothing ever gets my full attention, and I can't remember the last time I had an uninterrupted conversation with a friend! My husband works for a very small company and they have a lot of fun at work.

But I feel like, were I working, I wouldn't know my kids nearly as well as I do. My husband wouldn't know them as well as he does, either, because I wouldn't be able to call him 3-5 times a day to tell him what the kids have been doing.

Namaste!

[indie]

I'm jealous although I'm not sure that I want to trade places. I miss my job and the alone time I had there and the interaction with adults. I'm pregnant now and I have found it so much more difficult to be around a 2 year old who doesn't care that I'm sick all of the time (I have really bad morning sickness throughout my pregnancies) than it was when I had co-workers who were simpathetic. But my husband's job is a real PITA and very stressful. He gets no breaks. He even has to eat lunch while supervising his students who are troubled kids who got kicked out of public schools. So I'm not really jealous of his job just the fact that he gets to get out and do something else.

One of the real problems we've run into is that on the weekends I want to get out and do stuff because I've been stuck at home all week (with no car). DH on the other hand wants to stay home and relax.

[savannah smiles]

I used to be jealous when my dd was an infant. That first year was so hard on me and I would have loved to have been in an office where I could eat lunch by myself, take breaks, etc.. That feeling has lessened over time as my dd has gotten older, more independent and more fun. She's 3.5 yrs old, btw.
The type of jealousy I feel now is due to not having a clear cut career path like he does. Because I am a SAHM, I had to kind of stop things just as they were getting started for me career-wise and I get bummed when I think about that.

[nicole lisa]

Originally Posted by savannah smiles

I used to be jealous when my dd was an infant. That first year was so hard on me and I would have loved to have been in an office where I could eat lunch by myself, take breaks, etc.. That feeling has lessened over time as my dd has gotten older, more independent and more fun. She's 3.5 yrs old, btw.
The type of jealousy I feel now is due to not having a clear cut career path like he does. Because I am a SAHM, I had to kind of stop things just as they were getting started for me career-wise and I get bummed when I think about that.

Yeah, I found I was pretty jealous the first year. DS is now 4 1/2 and today at the grocery store I felt only grateful that he's out there working and I'm not, lol.

The only time I kinda wish I was working is when DP is travelling. The idea od spending a few days in a hotel room eating out and exploring a city on my own during the evenings gets me a bit envious.

[cozymama]

..

[onlyzombiecat]

Sometimes.
Dh has a lot more freedom. He gets breaks. He gets sick days & days off. He gets paid. He interacts with adults more. He gets more tangible positive feedback in promotions & bonuses. He can leave work at work- they are seperate worlds.

Othertimes I feel bad for dh. He doesn't get to spend as much time with dd. He has to leave sometimes when he doesn't want to. He doesn't get to choose how to spend his day. He has to cram errands, friends, family, hobbies, etc into evenings or days off and is pulled in more directions.

[Simply Nurtured]

No, I feel exactly like lilhomegrownmama...


Mine works a lot of hours, too, sometimes it is hard to find a balance.

I am grateful to have the freedom to be with my children, create my art, serve mamas as a doula part-time, and create a cozy nest for my family.

[mamaroni]

Originally Posted by dharmamama

I don't feel jealous of my husband because, to be honest, I am lazy and don't like working! I actually feel bad for him that he is so tied to his job (not that he's excessively tied to it, but, unlike me, he has to go to the same place at the same time every day and doesn't have the freedom to change plans that I do).

However, I do envy him the kid-free social interaction he gets. Even when I am with other moms or dads at playgroup, storytime, playdates, etc., I am still responsible for the children, so I feel like my mind is always divided. Nothing ever gets my full attention, and I can't remember the last time I had an uninterrupted conversation with a friend! My husband works for a very small company and they have a lot of fun at work.

But I feel like, were I working, I wouldn't know my kids nearly as well as I do. My husband wouldn't know them as well as he does, either, because I wouldn't be able to call him 3-5 times a day to tell him what the kids have been doing.

Namaste!

:

I've btdt with the career thing, so I'm not jealous of that at all. I could go back if I really wanted to. But I do wish I had the same freedom on a daily basis, as well as the interaction with other adults about things other than child rearing and home-making.

this is getting weird dharma. . . . this is like the 5th thread in this forum that I've read, and basically completely agreed with your post!