Do you get any "me" time?

[HelloKitty]

I'm not joking, I'm serious!! I honestly get no time for myself, not even time to drink a cup of tea. Every shower I have is with kids, everytime I go to the bathroom I'm not alone, the kids are in tow while I cook dinner, do the laundry, do all the household chores, go grocery shopping, do errands, whatever. In general I have no problem with this really - I mean if I wanted to be alone I wouldn't have had four kids :LOL - but sometimes I feel I just want like 20 minutes a week to drink a cup of tea and read a magazine and just relax with no one nursing or whining or just otherwise needing my attention.

I've tried to get DH to understand that and he says he does but everytime I try to like have him watch the kids for a few minutes while I go do something, ANYTHING, he'll be back at me within a minute and I get no breaks. I'd like to get up early and take some time then but it seems like every time I move out of the bed one of the kids wakes up and wants to nurse (we co-sleep).

Just wondering if any of you get any time to yourself at all, and if you do - like how do you do it?

[annakiss]

DH and I have had many discussions about this and he has volunteered to take care of DS so I can do things. Once the new baby comes, this will change for awhile, but I fully plan to get back to having me time again at some point. I've been taking baths alone (though DS does try to break in, DH usually has to physically drag DS from the door and find something entertaining to do) lately, which is nice. We also agreed that I got Wednesday nights out, which has happened sporadically due to the availability of my childless girlfriends. I go to meetings (about birth and mothering, ironically) sans Aleks, usually a couple times a month. I've gone out to coffee with girlfriends. I sometimes go shopping or run errands by myself. We've really focused on this since I became pregnant since we both know that I'll be attached to the baby for quite some time and probably won't be doing these things for - oh, about 18 months or so at least, I'd say, depending.

It just took a lot of discussion with DH. He's pretty darn understanding though, so I sort of have it easy. Interestingly enough, he doesn't really go out with friends much at all. He gets video games and beer drinking though quite often, and of course he sleeps late every day (from staying up late doing work) while I do primary care-giving. Really, I'd say it might be a bit in my favor these days with caring for Aleks. But all that's going to change, so it doesn't much matter.

[hjohnson]

During the summers, I get to go to my weekly scrapbook crop while DH watches the boys. I also have a MNO monthly with my friends.

[Boobs]

Uuummmmmm........no. Not since the baby was born.

[babybugmama]

Nope...except when I go running on the weekends.

[onlyzombiecat]

Nothing on a regular basis.
I sometimes get up early or stay up late to get time alone. Dd is 5 and sleeps part of the night in her own bed now. She does not wake up as easily once she is asleep.
Dh has different days off every week so it is hard to plan something where he would stay with dd.
Sometimes I ask him to watch her while I have a bath alone or a nap and by the end of an hour dd is upset over something & dh is in a bad mood. It might be better if they left the house together or if I left the house. If they know I am close I think it is too hard to keep dd away and dh knows I will take over so maybe doesn't try as hard to keep her happy.

[atomicmama]

"me" time?





what the shoeshine is that????

[momto l&a]

With a nursling not very often and just for an hour or 2 but without the oldest 2 usually every couple of weeks I will get away with just my nursling which is very nice to have some just her and me time.

A friend and I have a day in June planned where we will yard sale till we drop in a town 70 miles away and I will of course take my nursling but it will be some time for me to have some time.

Sometimes at night after the kids are in bed and all sippy cups have been refilled a couple of times and there have been many re-tucking ins because 'we just have to go potty one more time' that I do get to sit and read in peace and quite.


Its nice to have some just me time once in awhile as it really recharges my batteries and give me lots more patience. It also makes me realize how much decluttering and organizing my house needs :LOL

[sparkprincess]

No! And I have really been feeling it lately.

Problem is, my ds is a complete mama's boy! Which isn't all bad, but sometimes, sheesh! He's almost 10 mos old and nurses constantly so that makes it hard.

I do think though, that when he's older my husband will love to hang out with him more since he's just a big kid at heart himself. I try to remind myself of this and just take it one day at a time....

[QueenMommy]

Every once in awhile I have handbell choir practice on Thursday nights for an hour and a half. I'm very lucky in the fact that both my parents and my ILs live in the same area. My ILs will usually keep the older two overnight on Fridays if they don't have anything else going on, so sometimes I'm able to go to a crop. Every now and then I'm able to go out to a friends house if someone is having a "selling" party (PC, Stampin' Up, ect.)

[nikirj]

Yes. Everyday. I need it or I go nuts. Usually I roll carefully out of bed and get a half-hour or so to make coffee and sit at the computer. DH respects my "me" time and if someone wakes up right away, he usually gets up and deals with it, leaving me be. I am slow to wake and if I don't have some time to get up and running, I am a MAJOR crab. We've discussed it before - he gets alone time at night when everyone is asleep (including me) and I get it in the morning.

He also watches the kids while I go swim or work out at the gym.

It does take him longer after each kid to get used to watching the kids alone than it takes me. But only by a week or so .

I appreciate it, I really do, but I think that this is the way things are supposed to be. I don't think we were meant to raise kids all by our lonesomes, and since we've done away with the extended family support system in most instances, we really, really need to be able to count on our DH's to do some of the relief work, no matter how hard they work otherwise or how incompetent they are at picking the right diaper.

It is true that DH gets more comfortable with the kids the older they get. By the time they walk he all over those trips to the zoo and the pool and the park . But before then, even he is at a bit of a loss about what exactly to do with a baby (because men seem to have a "thing" about "doing" things).

[mmace]

My big two get on the bus every morning at 7:15, and the younger two don't usually get up until 8:00-8:30, so I usually use that time to sip a cup of cappuccino (instant, unfortunately!) and either read or spend a few minutes on the computer. I also have a tendency to "prowl" around the house after everyone is in bed. Since I am a single mom, those are pretty much the only times of the day where no one needs my attention!

[sadiesmom]

Originally Posted by mmace

I also have a tendency to "prowl" around the house after everyone is in bed.

I do this too. What is that about? I guess I just like to look everything over when it's quiet or something. Dh goes to bed really early, between 8 - 8:30, and dd is asleep by 7:30 usually. So I'm on the computer with my cup of tea in hand at 8:31! I usually stay on about 1/2 an hour then I start my nightly "prowl". I make it til about 9:30 then I hit the hay.

[kathipaul]

My dd and dh both go to bed before me so that is when I get my "me" time. I like to watch hgtv or read magazines or just pet the cats in peace.

[mamaroni]

Originally Posted by nikirj

Yes. Everyday. I need it or I go nuts.

I appreciate it, I really do, but I think that this is the way things are supposed to be. I don't think we were meant to raise kids all by our lonesomes, and since we've done away with the extended family support system in most instances, we really, really need to be able to count on our DH's to do some of the relief work, no matter how hard they work otherwise or how incompetent they are at picking the right diaper.

ITA!!! My job is basically 24/7 and there's no reason he should only have work hours from 8-6. Even though I'm a sahm, things are relatively equal during the time he's home.

I'd say the kids are all in bed by 8 at least 3 nights a week so I get time then. I also get time with just Karis while the other 2 are at preschool on thursday mornings, and I get time on tuesdays when I have child care for all 3 of them.

I would truly go absolultely insane if I never EVER got 20 minutes to myself. My psyche just isn't able to cope with that.

[AJP]

Sometimes I do, but not on a scheduled basis. Fortunately, my hubby's work is based at home, so if I'm having a day when I've just HAD IT UP TO HERE I can send my son to the workshop to be with daddy and at least get a little bit of time to have a cup of tea or a nap or whatever will help me decompress. Sometimes I can use the same arrangement to go shopping by myself, and sometimes my aunt has my son over for a few hours and I can do a few things unhindered, uh I mean without "help". I used to spend a lot of time by myself reading, which I miss, now about the only reading time I have is after my son is asleep, and I usually can't manage to stay awake much longer than that! If I had absolutely no me time, I think I might pull all my hair out, even just a little bit now and then helps me to stay more centered. I'm pregnant now with #2, so when that one is born I'll have a baby attached to me for quite some time, but I actually found it easier when my son was a baby.

[indiana ima]

i get me time, and i generally spend it here.

[tayndrewsmama]

None here, except when my parents watch the kids so I can go to my much needed acpunture appointments. Dh travels for work, so he can sometimes be gone for months at a time.

[mamaroni]

you mamas that don't get *any* or that get very little,

[Bearsmama]

Kitty

Wow. I have a hard time finding time for myself with two, and I can only imagine the challenges in this regard with 4.

The answer to your question is YES, I do get time to myself. Every Saturday morning, I run errands by myself for about 2 hours while my little one is napping. I also have a mom's helper 1 day/week for 2.5 hours and if I need to, I can hand the baby off and have a few minutes to myself.

Now, usually that time to myself is spent taking out the trash, cooking dinner, or doing minor cleaning while my mom's helper is here. But at least I get to do it solo!