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How many kids do you have? Plan to have? Why?

post #1 of 90
Thread Starter 
Hello,

I am driving myself crazy! I have two beautiful kids (4 yo DD and 20 months old DS) and I am trying to decide whether or not to have more kids. I'm driving DH crazy because every day I am trying to get him to commit to having another child or not. On Saturday I was sure that we were finished and was packing up my maternity clothes for give away...I took them out of the car the next day.

For us there was no question about having 2 children. I have always hoped for more but there are as many pros as cons for me. Now isn't a good time because we are starting a new business and don't even have enough to pay for the expenses what we have. I'm also planning on taking the IBLCE in 2007. So I've been thinking after that...but I also worry about the environment and the impact of having another child so I think maybe we should adopt but the price is prohibitive. Most of all I love being a mother and it is the most fulfilling work that I can imagine doing and I would love to have another child.

Has anyone else gone through this? How many kids do you have or want to have? What is their spacing? How did you decide?

Thanks!!!
Ann
post #2 of 90
i have three, and three is the right number for me. (though i fantasize about DHs vasectomy failing).
in response to the population control argument, DH likes to say we'll have a big problem if no good, nice people have more than 1 or 2 kids.
post #3 of 90
I have two, one more on the way, and want five. We don't use bc, and usually conceive around the 2nd birthday of our current youngest child.

Why five? Because it felt right when we thought of five. Dh will have his master's in electrical engineering in less than 2 years, and we'll live on that kind of salary. My dad is an EE, and we had sufficient for our needs growing up.
post #4 of 90
I have 3. The second two were "surprises." So, when did I decide to have another baby? When the birth control failed :

How many will I have? Maybe only 3, maybe another, maybe a few more. Ask me again after I hit menopause.
post #5 of 90
We have three, the third being a surprise

I am pretty sure we are done. I have things i want to do, and my youngest is 6, and we are heading out of the labor intensive time consuming years. I could afford one more, but i'd rather give more to the ones i've got.

Besides, all my romantic visions and fantasies of a fourth (with me giving birth in a tub in front of my fireplace and buying one of wemoons slings) went out the window when i babysat a very fussy high needs infant. after spending the better part of four hours in the rocking chair, intermittently passing the babe off to my husband for his expert football hold, i wanted to go to the garage and get the needle nosed pliars and remove my own uterus. :
post #6 of 90
I have one and am pg. I think that I will have 2- but a third- we'll see how I do with 2!

Em
post #7 of 90
I completely understand the back forth feeling. I just handed away all my maternity stuff and I'm sometimes regretting it and sometimes not. Mostly I feel I should have kept them for my sisters.
I have 2 ds. I love them. I'm not having any more because

of my PPD (it was a lot worse with ds2 and still hasn't completely gone away)
of my age
my partner doesn't want anymore & I wouldn't want to go through another pregnancy/infancy without his complete support
I truly don't like the infancy stage. I enjoy my children more as they get older.
Don't want to be pregnant again.
Last birth was perfect and I want to keep that memory.

but even with all these reasons, I still sometimes fantasize about having twin girls. girl: girl:
post #8 of 90
We have one ds, he was a suprise...we were kinda scared at first, we're so young (I'm 18, dh is 20) but we're enjoying it more and more as the days go by!(I've never been so in love!) When we first had him, I said "No more!" hehe, I wasn't used to it then, but now that I am, I want to have TONS! :LOL jk, I would like to have one or two more, and also would like to be a foster family someday, maybe even adpot eventually. Maybe you could be a foster family before you decide to have anymore. There are a lot of kids in foster family looking for homes.
post #9 of 90
I have two, and that is fine.
post #10 of 90
I have one and only planned on one...

... but today at DD's playgroup, one of the other mommas asked me to hold her newborn while she took her toddler to the restroom (Cher, the only AP momma always gets asked the hold the babies, hmmmm) and I thought for a millisecond about having #2.
post #11 of 90
I have one.
We *may* have another one day but currently one is PLENTY.
post #12 of 90
Take a wild guess how many I have! :LOL

No more, got my tubes tied last year. Whew! I knew I was done when I could hold other people's babies and hand them over without going, "Aaaaawwwww! I want another one!"
post #13 of 90
We currently have one and I'm pg w/#2. Ross and this baby will be 3 yrs., 9 months apart. I think the space will be nice.

I have my mind set on 6. DH has his mind set on 3 and there's no compromising according to him. He says he might stretch to 4 (and we're talking about adopting #4). He looks at the financial side of things, while I look at the baby side of things. I came from a big family, he did not and his family is more reserved, while mine is not. It's still not decided for sure.
post #14 of 90
4-5 three didn't seem like enough and 6 was too many...I like odd numbers dh likes evens...we're weird
post #15 of 90
Have: getting ready to work on #1

Want: at least 3, no more than 5, probably 4. Will reassess one babe at a time.
post #16 of 90
I have one, and my whole life I thought I would only have one. Then I met DP, he wanted 3. Now that we have DS, I can see three, for sure at least one more. DP is now happy with the idea of 2. So we will see.

Plus I'm already 34 and wanted a space of three years between, so I'd be pushing 40 for the third, I may decide I want to stop at two because of age, but who knows.

Gee I sound as undecided as you do, don't I? :LOL
post #17 of 90
have two. would love one more, but dh wouldn't.

we shall see...
post #18 of 90
We have two. I would like two more (although some days I think I must be insane for saying that). I think DH would say only one more - - but I'm sure that will change.

Elowyn- I don't know much about you. But you're planning on being a single mother of maybe four? Good for you! More power to you!
post #19 of 90
Have one now, and we plan on having two more. I want five, dh wants two - so we're gonna compromise on three.
post #20 of 90
After #4 @ 40yo We're done
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