We have one, and that's probably enough. We won't make a permanent decision for a couple of years, but we originally planned on one and are still leaning that way.
Reasons to stop at one:
*We feel very fulfilled and satisfied as a family now.
*Statistically, only children fare as well as or better than children with siblings. (See the book Maybe One
by Bill McKibben.)
*Pregnancy was rough on me, and I can't imagine getting thru it while caring for a toddler/preschooler.
*We like being able to get into sync w/his current stage without simultaneously trying to enjoy a totally different stage w/another kid. (I am a Brownie leader, and as much as I enjoy being w/kids that age, I do find it harder to really get into stuff w/them now that I'm caring for a baby.)
*I want to continue my career. The cost of daycare for two kids would make my continuing to work financially absurd.
*My partner is an only child and loved it.
*Although I have a sibling and I love him and he shaped my life to some extent, I don't feel that his existence is crucial to my happiness and "rightness" in life.
*When my brother was a baby/toddler and I was a toddler/preschooler, I felt gypped a lot of the time; not only did I get less parental attention, but many of the things I tried to do on my own were ruined by the blundering baby. I don't want my child to feel like that, and I'm afraid that because that still rankles w/me I wouldn't be fair to a younger child.
*We are concerned about population growth.
Reasons to have another:
*We'd still kind of like to have a girl. Of course, there's no guarantee that we'd get one!
*My partner had hoped to pass on his gorgeous hair color. Same as above, and also our son's hair won't necessarily stay the color it is now.
*Our son will have no first cousins (my brother plans to have no children) and it seems very lonely to me to have no siblings AND no cousins. He has several second cousins, though, and probably will have more.
What we'd really like to do is to increase our family size through polyamory. Right now we barely have time for our little nuclear family, but in a couple of years we hope to couple w/another couple
who have a child or two, thus forming a multi-child family w/more adults to do the child-raising! It's hard to make these things happen just the way you want them to...but OTOH, when I was a teenager I thought I'd never find a man who'd love me and parent w/me, and that worked out!