Originally Posted by JesiLynne
If Dh and I could terminate bio mom we would.
She has never really been a part of dd's life and even told us last year she was gonna terminate her right but has now changed her mind b/c she can't have anymore kids by her own choice (tubes tied) and is basically being guilt triped by her own mom.
She walked out on dh and dd when dd was a almost 2
But now that she wants back in a very reputable lawyer with 37 years experience told us it probobaly iswnt gonna happen even if we try.
So now instead of "being a parent" she is just picking up dd and taking her out to places and buying her toys and having fun.
She wants the benefits of being a mom with out taking on any of the responsiblty.
And she owes dd $10 k plus
I know this is a old post, but I just saw it today.
My dd's Dad is what I called (in my mind, never to dd) a "Holiday
Dad". He would bounce in lavish her with presents (the ones I
would never buy myself). Take her to Burger King or Mc D's
(food I am not comfortable with her eating). He never paid me
child support (I never fought for it either). Every once and awhile
he would hand me $20. A year ago he exited for good, his new
gf "isn't interested in kids".
So my dd has been Bio-Dad free for one year now. We still talk
about him. She pulls her pictures out of him, and we talk about
What I am trying to say is while it's natural to want to shield our
children (and this girl is your child in every sense of the word) from
pain. We don't want them to feel unwanted, or less than. But those
little moments, no matter how fleeting, they can mean a lot to a
There will come a time where your dd realizes that her Bio-Mom
wasn't as active in her life as Mother's should be. It's hard, but put
aside all the feelings of "She wants the benefits of being a mom with
out taking on any of the responsibility." aside and just forget about it.
OH how I know how hard that is. I know it seems it would be the best
thing if you could have the Bio-Mom's rights terminated. Then there
are times with my dd I would give anything for her Dad to pop in and
be a holiday dad again.
My dd has a Father Daughter relationship with my own Father. She
has the love of a Daddy, just like your dd has the love of Mommy from
you. So having that extra person who does the present thing, although
confusing, sad, and small it can be a benefit.
As I write this it seems really weird that I am the person typing these
words. Maybe I am wrong, but I had to post my feelings on this subject.