Terminating Parental Rights? - Page 3

[Satori]

Originally Posted by sabrinat

I'm intrigued. I've never heard of that one...I even consulted an attorney once about termination and she never mentioned this. We live in NC. How do I find out if that's an option for us.

You can file under disinterest or best interest of the child http://library.adoption.com/Terminat...le/8623/1.html

[sabrinat]

thanks for the info, I'm going to check it out!

[kunder77]

Im confused My husbands ex his wanting him to award her sole custody and terminate his visitation. He has decided for the children not to see them anymore, the mother has constantley put them in the middle and has turned them against dad, they dont want to come over any more. He doesnt want to give her full custody and not have a chance to see them and have to still pay.
my point is she has made our lifes a living hell and has put he kids in the middle. she is just trying to get more support, cuz she refuses to work.I fthey argree to relinquish his rights does he still pay support ? we are in arizona.

[trinity6232000]

Originally Posted by kunder77

Im confused My husbands ex his wanting him to award her sole custody and terminate his visitation. He has decided for the children not to see them anymore, the mother has constantley put them in the middle and has turned them against dad, they dont want to come over any more. He doesnt want to give her full custody and not have a chance to see them and have to still pay.
my point is she has made our lifes a living hell and has put he kids in the middle. she is just trying to get more support, cuz she refuses to work.I fthey argree to relinquish his rights does he still pay support ? we are in arizona.

Your husbands ex can't just demand this is what I want and legally
get it. It's one thing if she wants sole custody but she can't just
tell him to terminate his visitation.
Is your husband behind on his child support? If he is he will still be
responsible to pay that amount if rights are terminated.
Why doesn't your husband be a hero and go to court to work some
thing out with child support and visitation with his children. If they
have a visitation schedule his ex will have to make it work.
If he doesn't want to pay child support then maybe he shouldn't have
had children. Despite the Mothers actions. Getting rights terminated
isn't always easy, especially if another party isn't adopting the children.

[Satori]

Originally Posted by trinity6232000

If he doesn't want to pay child support then maybe he shouldn't have
had children. Despite the Mothers actions. Getting rights terminated
isn't always easy, especially if another party isn't adopting the children.

Wow, bit harsh aren't we? Maybe they had a happy marriage when they were born, we don't know and its not for us to judge. I don't agree with the posters line of thinking about terminating but wow, that was just harsh.


ps: depending on the state the child support obligation may not end at termination, I know of at least 1 state that requires continuing support.

[trinity6232000]

Originally Posted by Satori

Wow, bit harsh aren't we? Maybe they had a happy marriage when they were born, we don't know and its not for us to judge. I don't agree with the posters line of thinking about terminating but wow, that was just harsh.

I'm sorry if it sounds judgmental or harsh. It's a serious statement.
Child support is for the welfare of children. If the Mother of the children
is harming the relationship between the children and their Father then
he should try to work out every option he has to make it better.
But giving up rights to children who have a relationship to you doesn't
seem like a option.

But lets imagine that it is too much for Father to handle. The mess
that the Mother is creating. Wouldn't you still want to support your
kids knowing that it's in their best interest to keep paying child support?
The children are already suffering in the loss of a relationship with a
Dad who is ready to quit. Why should they suffer financially too?

I don’t see how the reality of the situation is harsh. Somebody has
kids they should want the best for those kids. If they don’t want to
support them they should have thought about that before the kids
were born. Not now that it’s become inconvenient.

[monkeymommy3]

Definatley harsh. I get what they are saying. Correct me if I am wrong, but bio mom has made life hell for kids, kids life consist of hate campaign toward father, father thinking of terminating rights for the kids sake, to ease the tension for them. I can understand that, as my DH and I have been going through same thing for over 5yrs and it is exhuasting in eery way.

[woobysma]

For those of you that successfully TPR'd - was there a form that you filed with the court and where did you find it? I don't know where to begin. I'm pretty savvy online, but I just feel like I'm lost here.

TIA!

[Satori]

Originally Posted by woobysma

For those of you that successfully TPR'd - was there a form that you filed with the court and where did you find it? I don't know where to begin. I'm pretty savvy online, but I just feel like I'm lost here.

TIA!

I got mine from the court house, only 2 forums I needed were actually online in my state. The rest came from the court or I had to write them myself.

[papayapetunia]

In a lot of states, parents' rights cannot be terminated unless someone else is adopting that child. (Aside from CPS cases.) The reason for this is that abusive ex-husbands would bully the battered ex-wives into agreeing to terminate his rights so he could get out of child support. Just a little FYI for ya. You might want to check what the laws are in your state.

[woobysma]

Thanks ladies - I guess I'll take a field trip to my court house next week.

I know it's easier to TPR when you have someone willing to step in immediately, but I figured I'd try it before the wedding and postpone it until after if it looks like it's too difficult now. DP and I will very likely get married soon, but I didn't want to feel like I was rushing down the isle because of this, kwim? He's been super supportive on this, so I don't think he'd see it as an ulterior motive, but I'd rather not have a pending adoption be an issue

[papayapetunia]

We're about to file the paperwork for my husband to adopt my daughter. I don't think bio-dad will sign a consent. Just to be a dick. Hasn't paid child support in 7 years, hasn't seen her in a year, rarely saw her before that, didn't show up for the custody hearing. So I'll have to file a "Contested Adoption" which will take longer, and which means that I'll have to pay a process server to serve him with the papers, all for him to not even show up at the hearing.

Off topic, but had to vent. I know what it's like to have stuff pending when you just want to move forward.

[PA's momma]

Originally Posted by Satori

I posted over in the step parenting forum like a month ago with a website for those in your state, go check it out. You CAN do this yourself, it may sound scary but you can do it!

hello to everyone, I am new to this site and have been looking for information of adoption process for step-parents.... My soon to be husband (04/22/06) has been raising PA since he was 2yr.. and since the wedding is in 48 hours I have been looking to get info on doing this adoption on the ball being that the "donor" has never even seen my son face to face.. the last time I spoke to him was around 3 yrs ago and he told me that same ol story "I'll try" but I have not seen it.. So if anyone could help me find what that info that Satori posted about those websites, I would appreciate it.. I really do not want to get a lawyer.. P.S. the only thing I have on the bio is a court order for child support that was made due to the fact that he never showed up to deny it.
Please some one

[woobysma]

Originally Posted by Satori

You can file under disinterest or best interest of the child http://library.adoption.com/Terminat...le/8623/1.html

Here's one of her links again - but I'd suggest just going to your local court-house and having someone help you gather the forms. It's on my "to-do" list

[RiverSky]

I never cared about my bio-dad. Does your dd want to be adopted by her stepdad?

Originally Posted by Maggie Mae

But I wonder about the long-term impact. DD doesn't talk about her bio-dad anymore and never missed him. (Really. We talked and talked about it and he was never around enough for her to get attached to) I'm sure one day she'll want something more than what's she's got from her bio-dad, but who knows?

I have been the child in this situation, sort of.

My father and mother divorced when I was less than 2, separated before my younger sibling was even born. My mother took care of us and though my father was ordered to pay child support, he did the first month then never again and we didn't even see him again either.

I spent my entire life thinking "good riddance to bad rubbish", not because my mother bad-mouthed him, but because I figured that a father who didn't want to be around his children was a waste of flesh anyway and I wasn't missing anything.

So if your DD seems to not care at all about her bio-father, great, wonderful, then I doubt she ever will.

My younger sibling, on the other hand, always seemed to feel the loss of our bio-father and I guess, daydream about how great it would be to be with him. I have had people insist to me that I must have missed my bio-dad and wanted to meet him and have him in my life, but I absolutely, 100% honestly never ever felt that way. As an adult, I actually found his address, accidentally and it's been years and I have not written or contacted him, I just don't even want any weird potential hassles in my life.

I hope you can terminate bio-dad's rights but make sure that this is what your DD wants. My mother talked to us a few times in our childhood about our step-father adopting us and I always said "no", I just wanted to stay the way I was, my mother's legal daughter. Of course, it never occurred to me that there could be a problem if my mother ever passed away. But if your DD does want to be adopted by her step-father (ask her and tell her that she can say no if she wants, or she can wait to make the decision), then I'd say "go for it!"

[woobysma]

I agree, I would talk to your dd about it (it sounds like you already did) before I went through with something legally. My DS met his father once when he was 7 - and liked him, but it was more that he was attached to the idea of a "dad" than to his actual bio-father. He's much more attached to DP than to my ex. He refers to his father by his first name or as "the guy who helped mom get the baby" (talking about himself) and calls dp "dad". The idea that every child will have a burning desire to meet and get to know their bio-parents is false, IME - most kids are happier just to be loved on a daily basis and feel secure in the knowledge that the adults in their lives are there to protect and nurture them. Just my 2 cents.

[papayapetunia]

Originally Posted by PA's momma

hello to everyone, I am new to this site and have been looking for information of adoption process for step-parents.... My soon to be husband (04/22/06) has been raising PA since he was 2yr.. and since the wedding is in 48 hours I have been looking to get info on doing this adoption on the ball being that the "donor" has never even seen my son face to face.. the last time I spoke to him was around 3 yrs ago and he told me that same ol story "I'll try" but I have not seen it.. So if anyone could help me find what that info that Satori posted about those websites, I would appreciate it.. I really do not want to get a lawyer.. P.S. the only thing I have on the bio is a court order for child support that was made due to the fact that he never showed up to deny it.
Please some one

It really depends on what state you are in. The family court where you live may have a section to help pro se parties. You should just pay them a visit and ask. It doesn't seem like you need an attorney, since bio-dad is not contesting anything.