Sometimes, I feel like I could SAH forever. Sometimes, I feel like I just can't wait to go try my wings in the working world. If there were no financial pressures at all, I think I would choose to be home for a long time while pursuing my passions through volunteering. Part of the issue for me stems from feeling like I was supposed to "do something with my life". My parents, teachers, etc. had HUGE expectations for me, and I never could figure out my expectations for myself. I remember one day, though, when I was late in my first pregnancy. My friend (at the time unmarried and childless) and I were sitting in my tidy little apartment, and I was just glowing about my impending motherhood. I said to her, "Would it be terrible if I told you that this is my goal in life? I just want to be a good wife and mom, and that feels like enough." She actually told me she felt exactly the same way, but we were both raised to have it all and we couldn't figure out how that was supposed to work.
I don't love housework. I don't love grocery shopping, yard work, or cooking. What I do love is the rhythm to my days. I love hearing the front door bang closed as the kids rush in from school. I love snuggling with the little one as daddy heads off to work. I love having the morning free to visit my grandmother. I love that when dh is off during the week, we can go have lunch together. I can't imagine a job that I'd love more than this one!