or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Just received a disturbing call regarding my dd
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Just received a disturbing call regarding my dd - Page 3

post #41 of 79
I just wanted to offer for your daughter. Early heartbreak is bad enough without having to be smeared all over town on top of it! You are a wonderful mother and I really hope this crazy lady backs off.
post #42 of 79
I read this yesterday and kept thinking about it all evening. The previous posters have all said what I was thinking about writing, but I just wanted to post to offer some I have a 2 year old, but I hope that when she's as old as your daughter I'm able to respond with as much caring and compassion as you have. It is clear you are a good mom!
post #43 of 79
More for you and your dd. She is so lucky to have you!
post #44 of 79
Hugs to you and your daughter. You are headed for a rough path now, but it will be better.

I've been the young girl in love with her best friend. It was soo painful when I got in trouble for kissing her. It's been about 16 years since, and i still think about it. I applaud you for respecting her feelings for this girl. Being a teen in love is hard, and when it's someone of the same sex, it can be excrutiating to feel like you have to hide your pain.

Can you try to leave info around on safer sex, such as using latex gloves, dental dams, etc?
post #45 of 79
I think she overeacted. If I had walked in on my dd in that situation i woudl have bowed out as quietly as possible as not to upset them. We would have talked about it later though. I also wouldn't assume that your dd is a lesbian. She may not know what she is yet. It is perfectly mor,al to develop a crush on your best girlfriends. As far as the other mom goes try to have a talk with her one on one and see if it gets anywhere.
post #46 of 79
Hugs to your daughter and to you mama.

I think lots of mamas have offered great suggestions, and you're doing great mama. I would only add to make sure your daughter understands (if she already doesn't) that this is a BACKWARDS town, and much of the world isn't like this.

I wouldn't worry about safer sex stuff... she has enough to deal with right now sounds like. And oral sex is widely considered to be low risk for STI transmission. Nobody tells adolescent boys to use dental dams when they go down on girls. I wouldn't make her feel any weirder than she probably already does.
post #47 of 79
I can understand that mom's shock. I cannot understand her conversation with you. I'm sorry this has happened (the mom). I sincerely hope she

to your daughter. She has got to be so hurt.
post #48 of 79
Can you call the other mama and tell her that both girls were involved in having sex, and if she tells anyone your daughter "corrupted" hers you will sue her for slander?

I am not a big fan of lawsuits, but threatening one in this case just might shut her up.
post #49 of 79
Quote:
Originally Posted by thismama
I wouldn't worry about safer sex stuff... she has enough to deal with right now sounds like. And oral sex is widely considered to be low risk for STI transmission. Nobody tells adolescent boys to use dental dams when they go down on girls. I wouldn't make her feel any weirder than she probably already does.
thank you. i was wondering how to phrase this and you did it perfectly.
post #50 of 79
I just got to thinking about the first post. I realize what really bothers me about the initail situation is that she kicked your dd out of her house and she had to walk at least a MILE to get home.
post #51 of 79
Quote:
Originally Posted by thismama
Nobody tells adolescent boys to use dental dams when they go down on girls. I wouldn't make her feel any weirder than she probably already does.
Actually, I taught all my cousins, male and female, to use dental dams for oral sex, and taught them how to tear a condom for such use. I'm neurotic like that.

And yes, I did use dental dams when performing oral sex on girls. Comes from being a peer safer sex educator in high school.

Back to our regularly scheduled program.
post #52 of 79
I think the mom may have a different opinion when she's had time to think about it some more. Her first reaction may not be her final reaction - I would perhaps assume that is going to happen and plan to talk to her in a few hours or days.
to your daughter and to you
post #53 of 79
What bothers me is that this woman thinks she can tell all the other parents to stay away from your dd and you're worried that she might actually be able to convince them. I wonder what excuse, lie, whatever she is going to tell them to convince them of this. Why can't these people think for themselves? I don't need someone to tell me to stay away from her b/c she's a lesbian. That's absurd. I feel I can make those decisions on my own. I definitely do not need someone telling me how to think. I'm really sorry this mother reacted this way and kicked your dd out. I hope the other mother comes to her senses and apologizes to everyone involved.

Mona
post #54 of 79
Totally OT and apologies to OP, but what's a dental dam?
post #55 of 79
Quote:
Originally Posted by coleslaw
Totally OT and apologies to OP, but what's a dental dam?
It's like saran wrap. It's to protect from bodily fluids so you won't contract any std's, but is thin enough the sensation is still there.

ETA: Dental Dam
post #56 of 79
Quote:
Originally Posted by its_our_family
I just got to thinking about the first post. I realize what really bothers me about the initail situation is that she kicked your dd out of her house and she had to walk at least a MILE to get home.
A mile is a ten minute walk, it's the least of the issues, as long as it wasn't the middle of the night.
post #57 of 79
MotherEden,

How are things with DD today? Has she talked with you at all? I'm thinking about both of you.
post #58 of 79
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Irishmommy
A mile is a ten minute walk, it's the least of the issues, as long as it wasn't the middle of the night.

It wasnt the middle of the night, but it was raining (not pouring, but raining nevertheless)

I tried talking to dd today. She told me that she had never even considered that she might be gay before meeting Lucy. She said she always felt pressured to be intimate with her and eventually realized she liked it. And now she's not sure what she is.
I explained to her that she doesn't have to decide her sexual pref at 14. Hell, she doesnt need to decide it at 40. And I will be there for her no matter what. I assured her that I know how cruel teenagers can be and if she would like to be homeschooled until we move (which is in one year) that's fine with me, but it's up to her.
I also explained to her that Lucys mom is very small minded and if we allow ourselves to be hurt by people like her then we are rewarding their efforts.

DH stayed home from work today to take care of the twins so DD and I could have some alone time.

Thank you for all your support Mamas!
post #59 of 79
MotherEden,

You are doing everything right. I'm so glad you are giving your dd some one on one time and that you are giving her such loving support.

Take care.
post #60 of 79
Yay MotherEden! That sounds great... if I were your dd I would want to have you for my mama. You are doing the best you can with a crappy situation, supporting your kid and offering as many options as possible.

Re the walking home - I think it is not the distance, but the disrespect, that is the issue.

Hope your dd feels better soon, and that Lucy finds a way to get around her mama and see her. I really feel for Lucy too.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Parenting
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Just received a disturbing call regarding my dd