Have your ideas about SAHMing changed over the years? - Page 2

[Reeyore]

I don't think my views have changed much. Since becoming a mother though, I don't think it's as easy as I once did. I love being home with DD, but it presents it's own challanges.

[That Is Nice]

Yes.

I have a lot more respect for the day to day functions of a stay at home mother (not that I didn't have respect before...just more now that I know!).

And I know that it's not for me, forever.

But I definitely love it.

And I know that I am glad that I took the plunge, so to speak. Also, I'm surprised by how little time I actually have to get things done.

[Azuralea]

I didn't vote because there wasn't a choice for "my views of SAHMing changed gradually after the birth of my first child."

I didn't really have set expectations of SAHMing before doing it myself. I'd seen lots of families "do" SAH in lots of different ways.

Originally Posted by meowee

this may sound strange, but I never realized how phsyically exhausting and practically debilitating it would be. I have never been so phsyically wiped out and exhausted in my whole entire life.

That, I had no idea. For me, I'd also add that I had no idea how completely emotionally draining and emotionally depleted it would make me.

I think I've also changed in that I've come to really appreciate and admire men and women who do SAH well.

[macca]

Originally Posted by kavamamakava

People just don't seem to get what a hard job it is. The stupid stereotype of soap operas and bon bons just doesn't compute. The house would be a disgusting food covered, toy covered, trash covered mess and all my walls would be scribbled on and toilet growing fuzz and toothpaste smeared all around the bathroom, etc. if I just sat on the couch and watched TV while eating bon bons all day.

Not to mention the kids would be screaming, clawing at me, howling for attention and basically driving me insane by lunchtime.

But that said, in the days before I was a SAHM I thought it would be some "downtime" ... I always thought I WOULD be a SAHM, it was the environment I grew up in, but I wasn't prepared for the reality of the situation. I'm glad to have a few days at work now (and DH is the SAHP those days and by the time I get home, the house can look like the filth described above )

[damona]

i never planned to stay at home. i never thought much about it one way or the other. i got pg at 17, so i didn't really have the years of hoping and dreaming and planning that many women do. i was just trying to figure out if i was going to have any time off from my job to go out with my boyfriend (well, i guess i saw him at some point... lol!) so my life changed quite a bit. after monkey was born, i wanted to be home with him, and when i did go back to work it was part time or filling-in type stuff. i haven't "worked" since moose was about 2 months old. of course, i work my tail off... i'd rather be working at the diner at dinner rush on a saturday night sometimes! at least i got tips there!

[BunniMummi]

Originally Posted by Persephone

As I got older, I truly understood the value of being a SAHM, more than my mom ever did. I'm educated, and staying at home isn't something I do because I can't do anything else (which is how my mom viewed it- very sad), but because I believe in the value of it.

I think this is really important. A lot of us now aren't "stuck" at home in the same way women used to be. We literally choose to be here and know that at any time if we needed to we could go out and work. We can speak to our husbands and other men and feel like equals because we often already have a lot of professional work experience and/or higher education. If I had been married at 18 and never had the chance to experience adult life between living at home and being a wife/mother I think I would chafe a lot more at this lifestyle.

And yeah, I didn't have a clue going into this what it would be like but I wouldn't trade it for any job in the world. Even if some days make me want to hide in the closet.

[tootaloo78]

I voted for 1 and 2. My mom was a sahm and I wouldn't have had it any other way. I remember being in junior high and having friends whose mom's worked telling me how lucky that I was. My best friend's mom had been a sahm until she was in 7th grade and she told me one day "Before she started working she would talk to us when we came home, have a caked baked for us sometimes and want to hear about our day. Now she just wants us to help her get the house cleaned up and get out of her way, she cares way more about work than us." That really stuck with me and impressed the importance of having a parent at home.
When I got pregnant with my son I really wanted to stay home but since it didn't appear that we could afford it I told myself it would be ok since we weren't using daycare (daycare has always been a deal breaker for me, I just don't think I could leave my son there) and I knew he would be so well cared for by my mom. By the time my son was six months old I quit. The plan was for me to return to work when he went to school. Now I'm pregnant with no.2 and we've decided to homeschool and unless my dh gets hurt and can't work at all I am not returning to work outside the home, even when the kids are out of the house. I figure someone needs to be around to watch the grandkids and I am more than happy to volunteer!

[Meg_s]

Originally Posted by meowee

this may sound strange, but I never realized how phsyically exhausting and practically debilitating it would be. I have never been so phsyically wiped out and exhausted in my whole entire life.

ohhhh yeah.

[saintmom]

I'm a lot more militant in my opinion about sahming than I was when I was younger.I've seen too many kids who turned out badly simply because the adults in their lives didn't value being there for their kids.I firmly believe when your kids are home someone should be there with them.Not a caregiver,a PARENT!
I always wanted children,before I ever figured out who I was or what I wanted to be,I was having them.Not that I had a lot of opportunities.In my family college was seen as a path to an Mrs.and any serious career ambitions other than liberal arts or the fine arts were quickly snuffed out.
It's interesting to see the younger generation trying to have it all.I think it's possible,you just can't have it all at once.
If I could do it all over again I would have wanted to be born into a family where education and careers for women were valued.I would have gotten whatever qualification was needed ,worked for a while,then had kids,stayed home for a while,then been able to maybe work part time if I wanted.
I enjoy staying home,making a home and memories for my kids.I resent the financial difficulties having one income presents.I resent being dependant on my husband financially.Of couse he's pretty much relying on me to keep hearth and home together while he's out making the all mighty dollar so I guess it works out.