I'm surprised to see so many familiar 'faces' here, and to realize how much more common this is than I thought. I used to cut....don't anymore. In the last few months there were a couple of occasions where I fought with dh and was so frustrated and upset I clawed and punched myself. But somehow, thinking about my kids takes all the momentum out of it, like I'm hurting them too.
Mostly, i just want to pretend this part of me doesn't exist, stay out of the mental health forum, and put on a
People that haven't gone through this probably see it as totally nuts. No one wants to feel judged like that.
I recently saw a lovely film about a self-cutter called 'The Secretary'. Unusual, a bit kinky, with a happy ending, too.
Someone mentioned drug-free births possibly being connected to self-harm.
For me, both were homebirths, and painful, but I don't think there was a connection. I just wanted what was best for the babies and hate hopitals and hospital routines.
Scarred but functioning,