I wasn't really sure which answer to select for the poll, so I chose the middle one - doing some stuff occaisionally or whatever.
As I read along, I realize that DH really does do stuff to help me out. The problem is that I have to pester him about it. He's agreed to take care of the trash/recycles and empty and load the dishwasher. But the trash is always overflowing and the sink gets full waiting for an empty dishwasher. When I just do his jobs myself, he feels guilty and says "no, I just need to do it." But I don't think it's fair for me and DD to live in a big mess waiting for him to hold up his part of the bargain! We're still actively trying to figure out the best work load divisions and methods for our family.
I don't have a problem with me being responsible for most of the housework, but I also end up taking care of the car maintenance, the house maintenance, the lawn, etc. and I often feel like this is unfair. I do like doing the lawn work - I find it very meditative and it gives me some "alone" time while getting something accomplished for our household.
DD is fairly high-needs and very hands-on. She's a little monkey, too. Add two rowdy dogs to the mix and DH leaving things all over the house and it's hard for me to keep up at all or complete any given task that doesn't take less than 5 minutes.
On the plus side, DH is a very affectionate and loving father who has changed poopy diapers from day 1. He likes to play with our DD and he likes to hold her and cuddle with her. He also usually is the one to give her a bath. And he'll change the sheets on our bed if I ask him to do so and hand him the clean sheets. :LOL
His work schedule is basically 8:30 - 6 plus 2.5 hours commuting time. He's recently started taking public transportation so he gets a break from the rat race and gets a chance to read his sci-fi books on the way home from work - yeah! Saves money too.
He's also about to start a big crunch time at work which means working lots of extra hours and probably weekends, too. I am trying to get him to help me with as many projects as possible before then so I don't feel so overwhelmed when I know he'll need more of his home time to de-stress and just be with his family.
We made a list of projects around the house to work on together, so hopefully, that will help. Also, we're trying to get more time for us to have together without DD (we are a co-sleeping family) so we had a date a couple of weeks ago. It felt so refreshing to see a movie that we got all sorts of stuff done around the house together AND spent lots of time with DD. So I know this is rambling on and on, but I guess a lot of it has to do with perceptions.