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SAHMs: what does dh do around the house? - Page 4

Poll Results: SAHMs: What does your dp do around your home?

 
  • 4% (11)
    He relaxes and enjoys his family: his work is done
  • 23% (53)
    He regularly does "some stuff" (e.g. yardwork, repairs, projects)
  • 29% (65)
    He occasionally pitches in with various household chores
  • 12% (29)
    On weekends, he does as much as I do
  • 29% (66)
    He does as much around the house as I do all of the time
224 Total Votes  
post #61 of 87
I voted the last option-DH does pretty much everything I do around here. Except, of course, take care of the kids full-time. He cleans, does laundry, vaccuums, does all the lawn-care stuff, you name it. The only things that seem to fall into my domain is cleaning the bathroom and making dinner.

I am really fortunate. I am sometimes shocked when I talk to other moms my age who have DHs who do not help at all. I have one friend whose DH does not even know how to use the washing machine. I am always amazed at these types of things.

There's really no division around here based on gender or anything like that.
post #62 of 87
I voted the last option. Dh is extremely helpful. He leaves for work anywhere b/w 8 and 8:45, and gets home b/w 6 and 6:30. There are certain things that are my responsibility and some that are his like the trash and the cat box (seems like most dh's deal with the cat box, I wonder why?). I do most of the household management but he pays bills (I used to do it but got sick of his comments over my shoulder constantly! :LOL). we have a cleaning service every other week, and I do the cleaning in between. Dh will help pick up toys and often times does the dishes after dinner. I do all the cooking but dh is perfectly capable and willing to feed the kids if I have an errand or something in the evening (which is rare). dh helps with baths and bedtimes. He's totally into the cloth diapers (well, not totally, but he's willing to change them). He drops the older 2 at preschool 1 day per week. We have a lawn service so no mowing. we both do yardwork, but I'm the one to take care of kids as needed during that time. If I need to shower first thing (as in, if I plan to shower at all that day!) he'll get up with whichever of the kids is up and start them with breakfast, and make coffee for us. He'll take the 3 kids out (or at least the older 2) on the weekends to Home Depot or the park sometimes. one time he and 2 of his buddies took 6 kids b/w them to the movie and lunch. he deals with the cars, the traditional "guy" stuff. he's really handy around the house. he's not afraid to run the vacuum. I do 90% of the laundry (he puts his own stuff away and will often fold with me).

wow, he does a crap load of stuff. it was kind of therapeutic to write it all out! Sometimes, I forget.

hmmm, but if only I could get him to have sex more often!
post #63 of 87
I forgot to add, I'm mostly ok with how much or little (depending on the day ) dh helps out, except when he refers to it as a "favor". Now THAT really ticks me off. He used to say he'd do me a favor by changing the kids' diapers or whatever and I used to just fume : But then another mom and I talked about that and she said that she no longer asks her dh to do things like watch the kids while she's in the shower. She rationalized that when he wanted to take a shower he just told her and then went while she had to wait for him to be ready to do her this "favor". So she just stopped asking and started informing. I tried it out with dh and it really changed things. When I got out of the shower he was upset that I hadn't said anything and then I reminded him that he didn't say anything to me when he'd go out to smoke and so on. He really got the idea and since then (when ds #1 was a baby) he's really tried to help out more.
post #64 of 87
Well DH is in for a rude awakening! He does NOTHING! Sometimes he'll be in a good mood and clean up our bedroom. Of course thats totally his mess and stuff I can't clean because its just a pile of crap IMO!! He needs his own room for all that crap! I mop do dishes clean the bath room and windex dust water plants take trash out to the shed and to the curb on trash day. I do it ALL!! He use to play with DD after supper so I could clean up as she is extreemly clingy at that hour and its frustrating to have such a mess to clean and a toddler screaming her head off! Recently hes stopped even that! : But were expecting a new baby in seven weeks and I can't possibly do it all! So hes going to have to help out in some way! Thank heavens because I am exhausted with just DD!!!
post #65 of 87
I chose the last answer as it comes the closest to our situation. DH always helps out whenever he's at home! I really can't complain at all, he's my jackpot!
post #66 of 87
Quote:
Originally Posted by sparkprincess
I voted option number 2.

DH just cannot seem to comprehend how much I do. He doesn't grasp the concept that I never get time off. It's very frustrating.

He does take care of the yard, kitty litter, takes out the trash. He washes and dries the laundry. I fold and put it away. He pays the bills.

Other than that.....he's on the computer, playing video games, watching The Simpsons.

Feel lucky that he does that much. I don't even think my dh knows how to do laundry. He sometimes does the yard work but lately he keeps putting it off. I get tired of the lawn looking like a jungle that I mow it. Sometimes while holding a scared toddler.

He has stopped taking out the garbage too. He will *sometimes* take it from the yard to the curb on garbage day but if I don't take it out if the house it won't go out.

And as far as taking care of the children....he has changed I think 3 diapers in the last 4 years. He has never given the kids their bath, never helped them brush their teeth. etc. etc.

to those 7 that voted the first one... I am sorry you have to work so hard with no help! But I am glad that someone knows what I have to go through.

I love my man, I really do I just wish he would step up a little.
post #67 of 87
Evenings and weekends, he does every bit as much as me. Our perspective has always been that we both work all day, him at a paying job and me at home with our daughter, so once he's home, we both do what needs to be done around the house and in giving each other equal downtime.

I'm very sorry to hear how hard some women have it. It seems unfair to me if the working parent comes home and expects to have the rest of the time mostly off while the primary parent is working all the waking hours of the day. Man, that's not fair!
post #68 of 87
My dh has certain things he always does, including yard work, fixing cars, taking out the trash, cleaning the garage, and any remodeling work we might be doing. (It seems like we are always in the middle of some project!) If I decide to grill for dinner, he does the grilling. That's it.

I do everything else, although not very well. We always seem to be out of clean underwear something, and our house is never clean. Occasionally dh will make some comment about me having so much free time but still not cleaning the house or something equally lame. He just doesn't get that having a toddler AND a clean house don't really go together.
post #69 of 87
My dh would help out with no problem if I asked him to. I don't though. It's my job to keep the house in order. I'm a bit of a control freak and don't want him doing housework. When I do work outside of the home I will hire someone to clean that I can train myself to clean my house just like I want it done.
post #70 of 87
Mu hubby usually picks up when I can't do it anymore. With 2 kids now and the new one nurses all the time pretty much my house is in total chaos at the moment. I try...but what's more important, an insanely clean house with 2 kids, or a house with 2 insanely happy kids? I choose the last. Yet it does still drive me crazy sometimes.
post #71 of 87
I answered he 'regularily does some stuff'. He does the yard work, the recycling, the garbage, the 'repairs', the 'projects'. He also empties the dishwasher (a HUGE help), changes DS's diapers (in fact I am not allowed to when daddy is home), gives baths, puts dinner away when I go to bed with DD, and gets up in the middle of the night if DS wakes up. We basically divide kid care when DH is home.

If we need to do a major clean on the weekend he does half. And he gets to have DS 'help' him :LOL

And he even picks up things from the grocery store for me on his way home. Even things that embarrass him

He also never complains about the state of the house. I think he is afraid of me.
post #72 of 87
Sometimes, I am not as grateful as I should be. I my Shanon. Not only is he sexy, kind, loving and all-around wonderful, he is really great around the house.

He works an odd way...he's a charter pilot, so he is on call all but two 'hard' days per month. Other than those two days, we have no clue when he'll be working. He could get a call for tomorrow or the next day, or he could get a call for an hour from now. (Well...not really right now...he's already in Sarasota. )

He works an average of 18 days per month, so has lots of time off. We toodle around with Jett mostly, having fun and ignoring house work. We do keep our house as clean as is reasonable and neat, but we aren't obsessive.

He and I share all tasks: car repairs, household repairs, basic chores, cooking, et al. He vacuums almost every time, I nearly always do the laundry (I folding clothes and otherwise laundering). I love to cook, but am distractable, so he keeps me on-task. He is fantastic at making a wonderful and healthy meal when I'm utterly convinced there is nothing worthwhile to eat in the house. He takes Jett when I need to catch a nap or sleep in, I take care of Jett soley when he has to get up early and fly. (read as, needs to be really alert)

Sometimes we get flustered with each other, but we have it all worked out most of the time.
post #73 of 87
When DH is home from work he will;
Change the babies diaper
Give a bath every other day
Do the dinner dishes every other day
Bring up and put away the groceries
Take out all the trash
Vacuum twice a month
Start a load of laundry

I wish;

He would play with the baby more than watch TV
Pick up toys before bed
Get up and make breakfast once or twice a week.
post #74 of 87
I also wanted to add this. This is my new favorite quote;

'A father who pursues infant care tasks with ease and proficiently is simply a father who was never lead to believe he couldn't. '

I think this could easily apply for household work.
post #75 of 87
Dh occasionally pitches in. My 13 yo son actually does more than dh does around the house. Dh is good about holding/wearing babies/toddlers, though. So at least I can get stuff done in the evenings. We homeschool so I don't get much housework done during the day, really.
post #76 of 87
My DH has never done laundry or cleaned the bathrooms. He would help with vacuuming, etc. if I asked, he doesn't "realize" it needs to be done. But the thing is, since he is only home evenings and weekends, I want him to spend as much time with DD as possible, so I don't want him to have to clean. (Although I would desperately love to have the help). And he has always been 50/50 regarding anything to do with DD, baths, bedtime, playtime, etc. He is an amazing daddy and if I had a maid I would be in heaven :LOL
post #77 of 87
Interesting thread!

DH and I are currently have some "issues" because of this very topic.

I was a WAHM before DD was born and then we shared household duties. I tended to do more than DH, but really more because my cleanliness standards are higher than his.

Well...DD was born and I'm able to get less business work done because I'm caring for her. However, DH is doing LESS to help even though my burdern is greater.

I've tried and tried to communicate our need for his assistance and I think he finally "gets" it.

--Kari
post #78 of 87
I have to go with #2 & #3. Dh does the yardwork (I just hate it!) and special projects plus helps with some of the housework. He vacuums, cleans his bathroom, makes some of the meals (he's making our lunch as I type this), handles all the financial responsibilities, insurance, etc., he is "poopy diaper man" as he will VOLUNTEER to change the poopy ones and handles dd's bedtime routine. Plus, he plays & plays & plays with dd which gives me time to myself to work-out, read, get on the computer, give myself a pedicure, scrapbook and what-not.

Now that I've typed all that out I wonder what *I* do around here! LOL!
post #79 of 87
I think my husband is very helpful around the house. He does most of the dishes and kitchen cleanup, and does a fair amount of straightening up. He also does laundry if I ask him to (maybe once a week), and cooks if I provide ingredients and a specific recipe (also about once a week). He also does all the heavy yard work, shovels snow in the winter, and does small projects.

I clean the bathrooms, vacuum, wash floors, buy groceries, do most of the laundry, etc.
post #80 of 87
My hubby does next to nothing around the house with the exception of car, electrical, and garage stuff. I do most everything from mowing (he does some occasionally) and painting to dishes, laundry and finances. My hubby won't help for anything even if I'm sick in bed. And he says he's the one who works! : Oh, by the way, he complains about the way I do or don't do things too....nice, huh?
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