Originally Posted by BelovedK
Thanks, FairyFtmama, I think using it as a title leaves the last stanza in need of a question as a lead in, I think i'll rework it in a few ways when i have time. I'm sorry your family is all sick, that bites to have everyone sick around you, maybe you will find time to write soon.
zenfulmama, Understood. It'll be nice to meet face to face to discuss our writing :
Well, I basically wrote that last night, but wasn't able to post b/c of my toddler. Anyway, what I was going to say, is the poem seems to work well for me, but those last four lines... I think the reason the last four lines don't flow as well is b/c the first stanzas all have the 'where' question in it, and the last four only has a subtle reference to where. I think by either adding a 'where' question or a 'where' statement, it would work better.... of course that just might be my personal preference, b/c that is what I've done when I've done 'questioning' poems like this.... I end with a statement instead of a question, but I still put the primary thought/word into the last statement.
Not sure if that made any sense. :-)
Oh, and on your other questions... sure post more poems on the other forum, I don't see why not. And, sure, if ya want to post ya're PPD (that is not based on real events), I don't see an issue with that.