New to this!!!!

[calngavinsmom]

Hi there. I am new to this forum and really, I am new to being a SAHM. I am technically on maternity leave until August second but then I will be done. I am giving up the role of "breadwinner" in our family....handing it over to dh(he stayed home with our first son).

I have to admit, I am having trouble adjusting to the whole idea. It was all I thought I ever wanted but now I'm scared. I am giving up a career that I had 10 years seniority, great benefits, good wage and comfortable atmosphere to devote myself to my kiddos. Don't get me wrong, I love them dearly, and want to raise them but, I guess I'm having a bit of an identity crisis.

Anyone out there go through these types of feelings? Was relinquishing financial control hard for others too? I have always relied on myself for my own financial stability and it scares me to hand it over completely to dh. Any words of wisdom?

Thanks for reading.
Take care,
Tara

[MamaAllNatural]

Not exactly the same thing but...

Before we had children I was the bigger bread winner. I made a lot more money than dh, worked a lot more than him, and we depended on my income the most. I also had been completely independent and self sufficient since I was 16 so, yes, it was definitely weird for me to start depending on someone else and to stop bringing in money. It was a bit of an adjustment (because I was adjusting to motherhood at the same time) but it's the best decision I ever made.

[aprons_and_acorns]

I also left a job I loved to be a more or less SAHM. I actually still work 10 hours per week. I was too scared to jump in with both feet so I negotiated the part-time gig with my boss. Now the 10 hours are actually kind of a nuisance. I have adjusted to being home and focusing on the family to the point where i don't really miss my old life. But that did take some time. It took me a few months to even figure out what I was suppossed to be doing all day, LOL.

the money thing was an issue for me, too. I used to bring home about 40% of our hh income. Now I feel overly dependant on my husband. He's really good about remembering that we are a family economy, therefor his paychgeck belongs to both of us, but it feels a little weird to be so dependant on the husband.

So, no advice for you, but I think we have a few experiences in common. Good luck to you in your new SAHM-hood!

[annarosa]

yes - I remember having an identity crisis - I had only ever really thought of myself as a successful manager with potential still to fulfill - so switching to SAHM - my choice- was much, much more difficult than I thought - I was valued as a manager but finding value in SAHMing from others/the media is a real (impossible) task - the satisfaction can only come from the little ones and how you see it goes for them with you .............look for the value and i am sure you will feel good about your choices